Courtesy, manners and tradition

[sparks19]

You know... as of late... I have been very impressed with the kids and teens I have come across.

I have heard A LOT of please, thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, just general manners and polite behaviour... some even hold the door or pick up something you dropped to give it back to you etc etc.

Even at a hockey game we went to recently a group of highschool age kids were at the game... it was a bus group so there was a lot of them. and they were not out of control, if they needed by they said "excuse me" "sorry" and 'thank you" and other than the usual hockey game cheering they weren't obnoxious nor were they potty mouthed.

I just think the bad experiences stick out in our minds more than the good experiences.

As for the sir/ma'am/mr/mrs thing.... I agree with cataholic... it's appropriate to call an adult sir or ma'am etc if you don't really know them so well or who have requested you call them that or not specifically stated that you can call them by their first name. I will do my best to teach Hannah to refer to adults and sir and ma'am but if they request she call them by their first name i will not object... it was at their request.

[Medusa]

As for the sir/ma'am/mr/mrs thing.... I agree with cataholic... it's appropriate to call an adult sir or ma'am etc if you don't really know them so well or who have requested you call them that or not specifically stated that you can call them by their first name. I will do my best to teach Hannah to refer to adults and sir and ma'am but if they request she call them by their first name i will not object... it was at their request.

As you say, if it's at the adult's request, then that's different. I mentioned that I told my neighbor's 10 year old son that he may call me Mary but his mother objected, saying that it's disrespectful.

[sparks19]

As you say, if it's at the adult's request, then that's different. I mentioned that I told my neighbor's 10 year old son that he may call me Mary but his mother objected, saying that it's disrespectful.

I know... I read the post where you said that

[Grace]

You know... as of late... I have been very impressed with the kids and teens I have come across.

I have heard A LOT of please, thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, just general manners and polite behaviour... some even hold the door or pick up something you dropped to give it back to you etc etc.

Even at a hockey game we went to recently a group of highschool age kids were at the game... it was a bus group so there was a lot of them. and they were not out of control, if they needed by they said "excuse me" "sorry" and 'thank you" and other than the usual hockey game cheering they weren't obnoxious nor were they potty mouthed.

I just think the bad experiences stick out in our minds more than the good experiences.

As for the sir/ma'am/mr/mrs thing.... I agree with cataholic... it's appropriate to call an adult sir or ma'am etc if you don't really know them so well or who have requested you call them that or not specifically stated that you can call them by their first name. I will do my best to teach Hannah to refer to adults and sir and ma'am but if they request she call them by their first name i will not object... it was at their request.

I'm so glad to hear what you say in your first couple of paragraphs. It's the please and thank you that I like to hear - and many times don't these days. I, personally don't care if anyone calls me Mrs. or by my first name, but a modicum of politeness is greatly appreciated.

As far as age, I predate both pomtzu and Medusa. I remember when my mother would dress to the nines, with hat and gloves when going downtown to shop. I much prefer the more casual life styles of today.

[pomtzu]

As far as age, I predate both pomtzu and Medusa. I remember when my mother would dress to the nines, with hat and gloves when going downtown to shop. I much prefer the more casual life styles of today.

Oh how well I remember that! My mom passed away at 79, and it was only a couple of years prior to that, that I was able to convince her that she would be much more comfortable (and warm) if she would wear slacks around the house, rather than her traditional "house dress" and stockings. Of course, she would never wear them in public!
Give me my sweatshirt and sweatpants - then I'm a happy (and warm) camper!

[Medusa]

As far as age, I predate both pomtzu and Medusa. I remember when my mother would dress to the nines, with hat and gloves when going downtown to shop. I much prefer the more casual life styles of today.

Yes, we did that, too. It was so much fun. When we were 16, my best friend and I traveled to D.C. on the train and we were dressed to the nines, as you say. We walked all over D.C. in a suit, heels and pill box hat. (Jackie Kennedy had quite an influence on us.) We even walked to the top of the Washington Monument dressed like that! (I'm not saying we were smart, just fashionable. LOL)

[Grace]

Yes, we did that, too. It was so much fun. When we were 16, my best friend and I traveled to D.C. on the train and we were dressed to the nines, as you say. We walked all over D.C. in a suit, heels and pill box hat. (Jackie Kennedy had quite an influence on us.) We even walked to the top of the Washington Monument dressed like that! (I'm not saying we were smart, just fashionable. LOL)

I'm sure I could have done something like that back then, but right now my feet ache just thinking about wearing heels in the Monument

[Twisterdog]

LOL ... speaking of dressing up vs. dressing down ....

I own one black dress. I wear it funerals. Period. (Obviously I dressed differently when I had a "real" job.)

My grandmother, OTOH, never once in her 99 years, wore a pair of pants. She wore a dress, silk nylons with a garter belt (never panty hose), high heeled dress shoes, a brooch and pearl necklace, every day of her life.

No. Thank. You. I might look like a slob compared to her, but I know I'm way more comfortable.

[shepgirl]

Can't remember when we've had such a great discussion about something worthwhile.
I must have grown up in the same era as Medussa and Pomtzu because as I read Medussa's post I had to pinch myself to make sure I didn't write it.
From the dress code to the Mr. and Mrs. there was't one thing we did different when I was growing up. My dad was a miner and my mom a school teacher but she taught only after we were in school ourselves. She was still the mom who made meals, laundry, baking and cleaning. We didn't ever need for anything but the one thing I remember is that most kids had more things than we did. I think my mom being raised without much and going through the depression made her want to instill a sense of values in us to teach us one had to earn what one got.
I do remember that when we went someplace we knew better than to misbehave, we knew the consequences of bad or rude behaviour and for some reason we respected that.
I do miss that old world where people were respectful and helpful. I remember thinking our son was too strict with his children but now that they are growing up I see he was right and I was just being a granny.
Must say some teens today do surprise me with their good behaviour though. I've run into teens that looked like they would knock me over but to my surprise they offered me help with doors and such in a courteous and kind manner.

[Giselle]

As a representative of the "ME" generation, I have to speak up.

There are too many points to hit, so I'll hit the one that I think really epitomizes the cultural shift (shall we call it a paradigm shift? Only time will tell...)

RE: Titles of Ms./Mr./etc.

- I don't use titles. So shoot me. I don't use titles not because I am deliberately rude but because I believe titles preclude a relationship to hierarchal structures of subordinate vs. dominant. Although you (the elder generation) may not see it that way, this is how my generation has come to view titles. We see them as stuffy, static, and unnecessary. I call adults by their first names because I believe that it brings us into a more meaningful rapport. We are equals. We are human. We learn from each other. I call them by their first names. They call me by mine. I refuse to be limited by my age or societal norms. It may seem chaotic to you, but to me and my generation, it is a sign of our liberation, of our responsibilities, of our dignity. When we call elders by their first name, we do so because we respect them as our friends, our companions, our PEERS. Yes, peers. Gone are the days when professors lectured you, the subordinate student. Gone are the days of incontrovertible submission.

Institutions of higher level education now view their students as invaluable as the professors themselves. Certain colleges, for example, are now restructuring their schools so that students MUST, at some point, "bump" into a professor during their studies and build a relationship of mutual learning. This is the "ME" generation. We are not deliberately rude. We have simply been taught that everybody is equal, that certain social constructs (as history has taught us) deserve to be questioned, that human dignity is to be respected - even the dignity of a child or teenager. We have been taught equality - that it surpasses the limitations of economic status, race, gender, and, YES, age.

That is why I so fondly call you all on PT by your first names.