Christmas tradition

**Pinot's Mom** · 12-02-2010, 10:07 PM

My husband and I have been together for 29 years. We have cut down our own tree, or at least gotten a fresh cut tree, all of those years. This year, we are breaking tradition for the first time; due to health issues for both of us - we're not getting a tree at all. We have a three foot artificial that is put up in the finished basement, but that will have to suffice. You know; we're both surprisingly OK with this.

Has anyone else run into issues like this where traditions have to be broken?

**Marigold2** · 12-02-2010, 10:28 PM

As long as you are together and in love that is what matters. Maybe you can start a new ornament colledtion for the new tree. Enjoy.

**Taz_Zoee** · 12-02-2010, 11:49 PM

Growing up we always had a "live" tree, that you had to water or it would die and then it would die anyway.
About 4 or 5 years ago we broke down and got a pre-lit fake tree. We LOVE it! Even though last year we didn't even decorate it, but it was up and had pretty lights on it.

Times are changing, my mom just mentioned to me the other day that her and dad may go get a fake tree too. Partly because it will save them money in the long run. Trees are EXPENSIVE!!! Now that is strange!!! We even had live trees for a few years that we could take out and plant after Xmas. The first one got so tall we had to cut it down because it was interferring with the satellite dish.
Another tradition I had to give up was Xmas breakfast with my family. We can never make it there early enough to enjoy breakfast and opening gifts with everyone.

But, I'm hoping this year we can go up Xmas eve night.

**Freedom** · 12-03-2010, 12:47 PM

Seem here re the tree. I grew up with a real tree, every year. Moving into my first apartment, and living in apartments for 15 years, I had a small fake one -- 3 feet.

THE MOMENT I bought this house, I went back tot the real tree! Bought the house, with a closing in Nov, we moved in on Dec 2, and I had a REAL tree up that year and several years after.

A real tree, the set up, seems to me to be a 2 person job. Dad just isn't up to it, so 2 (or 3?) years back, I got a 4 foot fake one. This year, I did upgrade, on Black Friday I bought a new 6 footer BUT -- it is prelit, and the branches are hinged, not individual hooks. Quite the time saver. As Dad is able to do less and less, plus needs more help from me, as the pet family has grown, I have had to make compromises as to where I put my energy. (Plus, I am not getting younger, but we won't go there, ha haaa).

The biggest "hit" for us, was the first year after my Grandfather (Dad's dad) passed. All my life, we spent every holiday, so Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, at my grandparents' home, with all the extended family. (My Mum's family was in England, so not doable.) Suddenly, everyone had to make new plans. Dad's brothers and sister had married children, plus grandchildren, so I suspect it was easier on them. For us, neither my bro nor I ever married, neither of us had any kids. So we went from a house of 27 people to a stay at home the 4 of us (My Mum was still alive back then).

And now, it is the 3 of us: Dad, bro and I. The 2 "men" are traditional Italian males, and don't do much re cooking, decorating, cleaning up. I do get my bro moving to help now and again.

This often leads to an argument, though.* And of course, I no longer push Dad to do anything except care for himself a bit more.

*Along the lines of, "I was happy to go eat out at a restaurant, I wouldn't be clearing the table there, YOU are the one who wanted to make Auntie Anne's dressing and Nanna's side dish and Mum's sweet potatoes . . . ." Apparently the traditions don't mean nearly as much to bro as they do to me.

**lvpets2002** · 12-03-2010, 01:03 PM

Yes as long as you both are happy with it or not then nothing else matters.. Happieness matters the most..

Yes I do find myself each year breaking traditions that I had stuck with for years.. For instance this past Thanksgiving I did not cook a ham & do dressing && I did not watch any of the parades on TV.. And that used to be a must.. I just did not find it important this year.. And like I said thru the years I find I dont do the tradtions like I use to.. But I am ok with it & happy too..

**cassiesmom** · 12-03-2010, 01:10 PM

We used to always have Christmas at my parents' house. One year my mom sprained her ankle the week before. So we started going to a restaurant for Christmas dinner each year. That continued until about 2 years ago when it simply got too expensive. Now we are back at my mom and dad's, but my sister and I help a lot.

**Karen** · 12-03-2010, 08:04 PM

It's never too late to start a new tradition!

**Bengalz** · 12-03-2010, 10:08 PM

Tradition is what you make it and if changing things up makes your life easier then you're doing it right

My husband and I came from many and the same traditions and for many years we followed in the same manner. One year we changed our tradition and that change became our 'new tradition'. Since that change Christmas has become much more meaningful and memorable.

Change is good

enjoy each other - that's all that really matters

**K9karen** · 12-03-2010, 10:59 PM

*Sigh*. I got over, and understood no more tree, real or otherwise, as everyone got older. Even though my brother and I were constantly out of the house with friends, we always spent holidays with our parents. We were so tight and loving. Always kisses and hugs and I

you. I'll still put up cutsie snowman and santas and reindeers etc., but it's NOT the same. I mentioned this last year too, how difficult, (after all these years,) the holidays are without my sweet parents. I'm learning how dysfunctional my mom's family was. Basically, except for my brother (and John, his family and our friends) the only family member I have is my 97 y.o. wonderful uncle. Lots of parties are great, but I still have to come home. Oops..sorry....this is a one woman pity party!!!