Courtesy, manners and tradition

[sasvermont]

Hey, I think you all have good thoughts on manners, tradition and courtesy. I enjoy adult like discussions like this!

I would never have made my niece call me Aunt Sallyanne.....even though she refers to me as her Aunt. I am sure that upsets my Mom - since she (my Mom) made me call my Aunts....Aunt whatever. See. This is how it has happened. I love my Aunts but could never call them by their first name, but then won't allow my niece to call me Aunt. Go figure! I mean that I demanded my niece to NOT call me Aunt, not just suggested!

Yesterday, while at work, a little girl stopped at the counter/register, waited until I noticed her, and VERY sweetly, asked if she could use our bathroom/toilet. It is the store policy to refuse such use. I couldn't believe how polite and sweet she was, and hey, guess what? her Mom was just as sweet. One may guess that I agreed to break the rules and walked her back to the toilet. She was maybe 6 at the most. She did not look as though she came from the upper crust of society - by any means. She was sweet, polite, easy to understand and direct. She thanked me several times as did her Mom. I, in turn treated her like royalty. She received a couple of free items and I gave her a Canadian dollar I had in my pocket. I told her how polite she was and how much fun it was to have her in the store........
On the other hand, at other times, there are kids that come in the door and destroy the place, while their Mom and/or Dad is doing their own thing. It drives me crazy. For the sake of requesting the kids behave in a considerate civilized fashion.

Being courteous and mannerly means you will probably be thinking about others as well as yourself, when dealing with the public. Yes? I think we may have stumbled on something. It's the "I am the center of the universe" thing. The ME generation(s). I hope it will change to the US generation.

[Medusa]

Hey, I think you all have good thoughts on manners, tradition and courtesy. I enjoy adult like discussions like this!

I would never have made my niece call me Aunt Sallyanne.....even though she refers to me as her Aunt. I am sure that upsets my Mom - since she (my Mom) made me call my Aunts....Aunt whatever. See. This is how it has happened. I love my Aunts but could never call them by their first name, but then won't allow my niece to call me Aunt. Go figure! I mean that I demanded my niece to NOT call me Aunt, not just suggested!

Yesterday, while at work, a little girl stopped at the counter/register, waited until I noticed her, and VERY sweetly, asked if she could use our bathroom/toilet. It is the store policy to refuse such use. I couldn't believe how polite and sweet she was, and hey, guess what? her Mom was just as sweet. One may guess that I agreed to break the rules and walked her back to the toilet. She was maybe 6 at the most. She did not look as though she came from the upper crust of society - by any means. She was sweet, polite, easy to understand and direct. She thanked me several times as did her Mom. I, in turn treated her like royalty. She received a couple of free items and I gave her a Canadian dollar I had in my pocket. I told her how polite she was and how much fun it was to have her in the store........
On the other hand, at other times, there are kids that come in the door and destroy the place, while their Mom and/or Dad is doing their own thing. It drives me crazy. For the sake of requesting the kids behave in a considerate civilized fashion.

Being courteous and mannerly means you will probably be thinking about others as well as yourself, when dealing with the public. Yes? I think we may have stumbled on something. It's the "I am the center of the universe" thing. The ME generation(s). I hope it will change to the US generation.

You've made an excellent point. Children usually mimic their parents' behavior. In this instance, Mom was sweet and so was her daughter as a result. Learned behavior. You were also willing to help her because she was so polite. Courtesy makes us want to respond in kind. Love it!

[Randi]

When I read your post, it reminded me of this one:
http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthre...orm#post699439

Mary, I grew up in the 50ties too, and my background sounds similar to yours. My father was a bricklayer and my mom a housewife. I really enjoyed coming home from school to a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich. Then homework, and down to play. Not all children were lucky to have one of their parents home all day.

The world has changed, I like some changes, others not.

In school, we had to line up in two rows every morning and follow the teacher to our classroom, girls in their own classroom and boys in theirs. The playground was divided up by a thick white line, so girls and boys didn't mix. We accepted it as normal, even though, today, I can’t see it was an advantage for anyone, it probably made all of us more shy to the opposite sex.

It was quite normal to speak to grown-ups in a polite manner and adressing them Mr. or Mrs. Also to say thank you, when someone gave you something. However, some things were quite silly - like curtsy and bowing, I mean, it wasn’t exactly the Queen we stood in front of.

One time, my mom took me along to one her friends, and I did or said something wrong, I don’t think I was even aware of it. The friend “forced” me to apologize and I felt SO humiliated - I was hardly old enough to even pronounce the word she wanted me to say. I remembered this for a long time, and never wanted to go there again. So a completely wrong way of tackling it!

I believe all children are born with a positive outlook on things and a healthy curiousity, but they soon get spoiled, as some parents seem too busy with other things, to care much about how “well behaved” their children are (and I mean this in the good sense of the word) and this will backfire later on. Most children will behave like their parents.

Simple things like learning to queue up when waiting for a bus, let other people speak without interupting, and appreciate what you have, instead of wanting more, more, more, would be nice.

There’s nothing wrong with a good self esteem, but like some of you say, a lot of young kids really DO believe they are the center of the Universe, and it can be pretty tiring to be around these kids for long. It would be nice if they thought about others too - but then, some of them do.

Also this thing with fame... some will do anything to get their 15 min. on TV and make complete fools of themselves. I never understood that.

[caseysmom]

My daughter has a friend that moved her from the south, I am always called Mam by her, its actually quit refreshing.

[sparks19]

You know... as of late... I have been very impressed with the kids and teens I have come across.

I have heard A LOT of please, thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, just general manners and polite behaviour... some even hold the door or pick up something you dropped to give it back to you etc etc.

Even at a hockey game we went to recently a group of highschool age kids were at the game... it was a bus group so there was a lot of them. and they were not out of control, if they needed by they said "excuse me" "sorry" and 'thank you" and other than the usual hockey game cheering they weren't obnoxious nor were they potty mouthed.

I just think the bad experiences stick out in our minds more than the good experiences.

As for the sir/ma'am/mr/mrs thing.... I agree with cataholic... it's appropriate to call an adult sir or ma'am etc if you don't really know them so well or who have requested you call them that or not specifically stated that you can call them by their first name. I will do my best to teach Hannah to refer to adults and sir and ma'am but if they request she call them by their first name i will not object... it was at their request.

[Medusa]

As for the sir/ma'am/mr/mrs thing.... I agree with cataholic... it's appropriate to call an adult sir or ma'am etc if you don't really know them so well or who have requested you call them that or not specifically stated that you can call them by their first name. I will do my best to teach Hannah to refer to adults and sir and ma'am but if they request she call them by their first name i will not object... it was at their request.

As you say, if it's at the adult's request, then that's different. I mentioned that I told my neighbor's 10 year old son that he may call me Mary but his mother objected, saying that it's disrespectful.

[sparks19]

As you say, if it's at the adult's request, then that's different. I mentioned that I told my neighbor's 10 year old son that he may call me Mary but his mother objected, saying that it's disrespectful.

I know... I read the post where you said that

[Grace]

You know... as of late... I have been very impressed with the kids and teens I have come across.

I have heard A LOT of please, thank you, yes sir, yes ma'am, just general manners and polite behaviour... some even hold the door or pick up something you dropped to give it back to you etc etc.

Even at a hockey game we went to recently a group of highschool age kids were at the game... it was a bus group so there was a lot of them. and they were not out of control, if they needed by they said "excuse me" "sorry" and 'thank you" and other than the usual hockey game cheering they weren't obnoxious nor were they potty mouthed.

I just think the bad experiences stick out in our minds more than the good experiences.

As for the sir/ma'am/mr/mrs thing.... I agree with cataholic... it's appropriate to call an adult sir or ma'am etc if you don't really know them so well or who have requested you call them that or not specifically stated that you can call them by their first name. I will do my best to teach Hannah to refer to adults and sir and ma'am but if they request she call them by their first name i will not object... it was at their request.

I'm so glad to hear what you say in your first couple of paragraphs. It's the please and thank you that I like to hear - and many times don't these days. I, personally don't care if anyone calls me Mrs. or by my first name, but a modicum of politeness is greatly appreciated.

As far as age, I predate both pomtzu and Medusa. I remember when my mother would dress to the nines, with hat and gloves when going downtown to shop. I much prefer the more casual life styles of today.

[pomtzu]

As far as age, I predate both pomtzu and Medusa. I remember when my mother would dress to the nines, with hat and gloves when going downtown to shop. I much prefer the more casual life styles of today.

Oh how well I remember that! My mom passed away at 79, and it was only a couple of years prior to that, that I was able to convince her that she would be much more comfortable (and warm) if she would wear slacks around the house, rather than her traditional "house dress" and stockings. Of course, she would never wear them in public!
Give me my sweatshirt and sweatpants - then I'm a happy (and warm) camper!

[Medusa]

As far as age, I predate both pomtzu and Medusa. I remember when my mother would dress to the nines, with hat and gloves when going downtown to shop. I much prefer the more casual life styles of today.

Yes, we did that, too. It was so much fun. When we were 16, my best friend and I traveled to D.C. on the train and we were dressed to the nines, as you say. We walked all over D.C. in a suit, heels and pill box hat. (Jackie Kennedy had quite an influence on us.) We even walked to the top of the Washington Monument dressed like that! (I'm not saying we were smart, just fashionable. LOL)