How do you know if it's the right time to get out or STAY?

**DJFyrewolf36** · 04-19-2010, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by RICHARD

I was thinking about this thread.

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Sometimes we get too impatient with life and want to see what is up ahead.

It's like walking down the street looking thru a pair of binoculars. We do know what we may find at the end of the block, but you do miss out on everything immediately around you. There may be a crack in the sidewalk that will make you stumble, and you may hit it because you are busy trying to look ahead.

Does that make sense?

You'll know when to stop and use you 'binoculars' at the right time.

Until then?

Don't stub your toes or skin your knees.

There's plenty of time for that later on?

Couldnt have said it better...my life the past couple of years has driven this lesson home lol.

**king2005** · 04-19-2010, 09:55 PM

Originally Posted by DJFyrewolf36

Couldnt have said it better

I second that!

**CountryWolf07** · 04-19-2010, 10:04 PM

Makes complete sense...

I'm going to take someone's advice, and just let it roll out, see where it goes. To be honest, I need to relax and appreciate what I have now. I trust my gut, whatever it says, I stick with it. Until then, whatever happens, happens. I know it is difficult but life is not supposed to be easy. It's full of speed bumps to get through it. I trust that whatever I do, will be the right thing.

**finn's mom** · 04-19-2010, 10:45 PM

I've seen you struggle with this part of your relationship on pet talk a few times, now. You shouldn't have to explain why hearing words of affirmation is important to you. I'm the same way and I don't feel like it's a good or bad thing, either way. It's just the way I am. I don't need it 24/7, but I couldn't and wouldn't be with a man who didn't say I love you on a daily basis. Relationships are about compromise, and even though my husband isn't the type that needs to hear it as much as I do, and his family has never been vocal about their feelings, he does it for me because he knows it's important. I do things for him that are important to him, even if it's not something I need.

I will echo someone else who said that it sounds like he isn't ready for a lifelong commitment.

I will add that if you feel like your life and growth is being stunted or like you're stagnating, because of your relationship with Mike...that's how I would know if it was time to move on. I've always looked at relationships like that, and so far, I feel like I've made the right decisions when it's come down to "should I stay or should I go?"

**RICHARD** · 04-19-2010, 11:15 PM

I have to chime in again.

Do not harbour any ill will toward your SO because he won't give you an answer.

Not wanting a "commitment" isn't a character flaw or something that minimizes a person's character.

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Some tips about relationships?

Never speak without thinking.

Before asking your partner/SO for the truth?
Be ready to hear what you didn't want to hear.

Always try to put yourself in THEIR shoes or try to
imagine what your answer to the question is.

The smallest things will bother you about your SO.
The smallest things about you will bother your SO.

Just when you feel tired about any relationship?

1) Think about the time you will have before you meet someone else.
2) think about the 'audition process', what is the line about kissing frogs to find a prince?

3) Think about 5-10 years down the road and finish this sentence, "What if I had..."

Life sucks when you look back and can't blame the OTHER PERSON for a bad relationship.

By the same token?

Always demand of yourself what you demand of the other person. There are times when you compromise YOUR ideals because it'say easier to throw in the towel THAT way.

Be true to yourself and you'll never have a problem dealing with loved ones.

LOl, I should do this for a living.

**CountryWolf07** · 04-20-2010, 10:59 AM

Thanks, Richard. Thanks everyone. I've been thinking a lot lately. We will have a talk about it, but mostly just to ease things and I decided that I will just leave where things are. I'm not going anywhere. I don't have money to move out, etc. I am actually happy with him, and I know, we both have talked about things, marriage, house, kids, and we both know it isn't that right now, but down the road, it's a possibility. Like I said, I will take it easy and just let things go, see where they end up. I realize that we both have gone through a couple speed bumps in our relationship, but nothing enough to force us to give up. If we have gotten to this far, we're still in it as far as it goes.