How do you know if it's the right time to get out or STAY?

[NicoleLJ]

Hmmm maybe I see this differently because of my experiences with my ex. I could not imagine, when I was with him, my life without him. Didn't want too. My whole life revolved around him. I was dependant on him for my happiness and to feel whole. THAT IS NOT HEALTHY!!! He was very abusive to me and my children and thank goodness the relationship is over. I will never agian allow my self to feel like I can't live without someone.

My fiance is awsome. I love him dearly. OUr future looks bright and we are working hard towards our joint goals of where we would like to be. We can talk about everything and anything, enjoy all the same things and adore each others kids. BUT could I live my life without him? COuld I imagine my life without him? YES. Do I want to? I would rather not. I am not dependant on him for my happiness in life. Does he add happiness to it? YES. Does he help give me strength when I need it? Yes. Does he support me in the things I want to do? YEs. But could he take all that away, including himself and I could still be happy with my life? Yes.

Some of you may be confused by what I am saying. Others might get it. To me a life partner does not complete you. I used to see it that way but after a ton of counseling have since changed that view. You need to complete you first. If you are happy with yourself while you are with this person then that is what matters. If you are not complete within yourself while with this person then you need to reevaluate. I hope this makes sense.

[Anikaca77]

http://www.moviefone.com/movie/tyler...ied/29300/main

Synopsis
A couple (Tyler Perry and Janet Jackson) that goes on a therapeutic annual winter vacation designed to help couples work through their marital problems in a group setting finds the usual routine thrown into chaos when one of the wives arrives with a sexy young temptress in tow. Now, as the Colorado snow falls gently outside of their window, one couple will experience a bout with infidelity that will cause the entire group to question the validity of their own respective marriages. Diary of a Mad Black Woman mastermind Tyler Perry writes, produces, directs, and stars in this comedy drama that explores the complexities of modern marriage. - Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide


I saw this movie this past weekend at my sisters and it was a very mind opening movie for me. I've been doing a lot of thinking since I saw this movie and I don't know if this would help you in your thoughts but for me it's just making me think more but I've been thinking or wondering if I'm getting a divorce or not so I'm not sure if this movie is for you right now or not.

-Melissa

[CountryWolf07]

"I don't buy the "men don't talk", it was how they were brought up, a bad prior relationship, etc., type stuff. You are entitled to (and I suspect freely give of it) love on your terms...and there IS someone out there for you."

That's how I am feeling right now, basically. Mike says that he is brought up in a family where he never hears "I love you's" and feelings were just not "openly expressed" as much as I grew up in a family where feelings are SO open and we are a emotional family. He doesn't like to express his feelings, say how he feels.. and it's clear a lot of times how he feels about me through his actions/things he does around me. My dad is the same way, he never says how he feels... who knows? Is that too hard to believe? I've had his family relatives/friends comment to me randomly how much he reminds them of his dad before he passed away. I am starting to feel like I might be dating his "dad" at this point.. seems like! Not to be funny or anything. I had a serious conversation with my mom last night as well. My mom actually told me that she broke up with my dad when he didn't want to get married, but he still wanted to be with her, they had been together about the same length I've been with Mike. Dad begged and cried for my mom to take him back. She didn't. They were broken up for 6 months to a year, until somehow, they decided to come back together and get engaged, and now they are celebrating their 28th anniversary in July this year. It's like... I FEEL I am following in my parents' footsteps, but not "aware" of it. Just feels like I am doing the same thing my mom did 28 years ago. Make sense?