" Bill you are such a big cry baby" Says Bonnie. "There's a Bicycle Store I saw up the street." Said Alyse. "Why don't we head up there & buy a couple of bikes & helmets & bike to Graceland!" They have tricycles for the inexperienced, dirt bikes for the sporty, mountain bikes for the challenged, & tandem bikes for lazy chickens. "That sounds like a good idea says Bill, after he uses 3 farm hankies to blow his big red nose." " I ......
training wheels
.... think biking to Graceland is an excellent Idea. Bonny i want you to understand something before we are in front of a salesman at the Bike store. Three wheelers or tricycle for those not savy with bike lingo do not need training wheels. I will be getting a full suspension Bike like the one I have at home. Elyse what pedals are in your future. Maybe you and GrandChester can do a tandem. we might even..
Natchez trace.
“You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
— Unknown
.... think biking to Graceland is an excellent Idea. Bonny i want you to understand something before we are in front of a salesman at the Bike store. Three wheelers or tricycle for those not savy with bike lingo do not need training wheels. I will be getting a full suspension Bike like the one I have at home. Elyse what pedals are in your future. Maybe you and GrandChester can do a tandem. we might even..
....let Wom ride in an electric moped behind us. I think we should travel along the Natchez trace. What do you think Wom ?"
"Who cares ?' Said Wom. A road, a track, a natchez trace, a laneway. Whatever. As long as I can ride in my moped, and store Bonny's booze stash in the back so she can't sneak a drink every mile, I don't care a less if it's a natchez trace or a Siberian trace. Ok, lets get going. Ladies first."
"Lets have some music Wom" Said Bill.
Wom switches on the radio in the moped, and they all head off to the beat of Queens "Fat Bottom Girls They Make the Rockin' World Go Round".
Wom switches on the radio in the moped, and they head off to the beat of Queen.
Elyse falls behind almost immediately. The group notices this and goes back to where she is standing on the side of the road with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can't ride a bicycle from Las Vegas to Memphis!" she wails while Brian May and Freddie Mercury harmonize. "I was almost on an airplane, but the gate agents inspected someone else's bag, thought it was mine and wouldn't let me board! That was a good stethoscope they confiscated, too- a Littmann. Go on without me, because I can't do this. If I can't fly, then I'll have to rent a car. Or ride a train. Or maybe a tornado will swoop me up and drop me in Tennessee."
Everyone laughs heartily at this. "Elyse, that's so silly! You can't have a tornado in the Nevada Desert!" they shout.
bang a gong
Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.
I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!
Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!
"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas
"We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet
Everyone laughs heartily at this. "Elyse, that's so silly! You can't have a tornado in the Nevada Desert!" they shout.
.....I guess you're right, said Elyse. With my luck it would drop me in Idaho or Wyoming anyway." Bill speaks up,
'Elyse why not tuff it out a little longer , we can make a little side trip to the Grand Canyon. If you still want a plane trip. You have every ones permission to take my Prospectors shovel and wallop Wom like you would bang a gong." "Why hit Wom",ask Elyse, Well he is the one with the scooter, said Bill, "One good wallop and he will just zip you right to.......
Hell's Angels
“You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
— Unknown
he is the one with the scooter, said Bill, "One good wallop and he will just zip you right to.......
who knows where?
Elyse says, "No, thanks. I'd probably land right on my backside in the center of the Las Vegas strip during rush hour. But I'd love to see the Grand Canyon! Turn up the volume, Wom, and let's get going. We're going to Graceland by way of the Grand Canyon!" She pushes off and gets the bicycle moving to gain a bit of a head start.
Just then: RRRRRRRRROAR! A group of Hell's Angels on motorcycles goes by...
jubilation
Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.
I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!
Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!
"That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas
"We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet
Just then: RRRRRRRRROAR! A group of Hell's Angels on motorcycles goes by...
....on their way to the sin city. Bill yells above the roar, Just play it cool and maybe they will go their own way" Bonny speaks in a half wimper, " but the guy on that last hog was kinda cute." Wom retorts, 'Bonny you wouldn't know cute if it smacked you in the face." Besides we have had enough trouble already. Elyse, mudders, Grand Canyon we were going to the Grand Canyon. Ok Ok, says Bill, "The grand Canyon It is, why have you been so quite GrandChester. GrandChester speaks, " Friends there will be Grand jubilation on my part if we eeVER get there, this infernal bicycle seat has rubbed.........
canyon ride
__________________
“You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
— Unknown
....on their way to the sin city. Bill yells above the roar, Just play it cool and maybe they will go their own way" Bonny speaks in a half wimper, " but the guy on that last hog was kinda cute." Wom retorts, 'Bonny you wouldn't know cute if it smacked you in the face." Besides we have had enough trouble already. Elyse, mudders, Grand Canyon we were going to the Grand Canyon. Ok Ok, says Bill, "The grand Canyon It is, why have you been so quite GrandChester. GrandChester speaks, " Friends there will be Grand jubilation on my part if we eeVER get there, this infernal bicycle seat has rubbed.........
canyon ride
__________________
the hide right off of my buttocks. "What you need is some Monkey Butt Powder." Said Bonnie This Canyon ride seems to be taking its toll on everyone. You city slickers are going to have to toughen up & suck it in. Now lets ride em out & head em up . . . . .
the hide right off of my buttocks. "What you need is some Monkey Butt Powder." Said Bonnie This Canyon ride seems to be taking its toll on everyone. You city slickers are going to have to toughen up & suck it in. Now lets ride em out & head em up . . . . .
.....raw hide. Bill chimes in again, Listen everyone if we make the canyon by tomorrow maybe we can just go on up and pick the great divide mountain bike route. After we see the canyon there is a WHOLE lot of boring riding to Memphis, but the ride up the Great Divide route is beautiful. If we ride up to Wolf Creek Pass and on to Salida we can pick up the route there. I have lead 4 groups from Steam Boat to Salida but have never ridden it going north. There is a Buffalo ranch in South Park that cooks up some outstanding buffalo burgers for special guest. Lets have a show of hands.....
Breckenridge
“You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
— Unknown
.....raw hide. Bill chimes in again, Listen everyone if we make the canyon by tomorrow maybe we can just go on up and pick the great divide mountain bike route. After we see the canyon there is a WHOLE lot of boring riding to Memphis, but the ride up the Great Divide route is beautiful. If we ride up to Wolf Creek Pass and on to Salida we can pick up the route there. I have lead 4 groups from Steam Boat to Salida but have never ridden it going north. There is a Buffalo ranch in South Park that cooks up some outstanding buffalo burgers for special guest. Lets have a show of hands.....
.....to see who wants a buffalo burger at South Park"
Everyone sticks their hands up, except Bonny.
"Do they have Prairie Dog Burgers ?" Said Bonny.
"No !!!' Said Wom 'What is this ??? A bloody smorgasbord or something ? You can only get Prairie Dog Burgers in Breckenridge. If you want to come with us, you'll have to settle for a Buffalo Burger."
"Can I have fries with that?" Said Elyse.
"I wanna chocolate shake" Said Bill.
"What about a frozen coke ? Do they have frozen cokes there Wom ??" Said Grand Chester.
"Shaddup you lot !!' Yells Wom 'If they had all of that stuff, it would be be called McBuffalo Ranch at McSouth Park wouldn't it ??? Here comes someone along the road now from South Park, you can all ask him."
.....to see who wants a buffalo burger at South Park"
Everyone sticks their hands up, except Bonny.
"Do they have Prairie Dog Burgers ?" Said Bonny.
"No !!!' Said Wom 'What is this ??? A bloody smorgasbord or something ? You can only get Prairie Dog Burgers in Breckenridge. If you want to come with us, you'll have to settle for a Buffalo Burger."
"Can I have fries with that?" Said Elyse.
"I wanna chocolate shake" Said Bill.
"What about a frozen coke ? Do they have frozen cokes there Wom ??" Said Grand Chester.
"Shaddup you lot !!' Yells Wom 'If they had all of that stuff, it would be be called McBuffalo Ranch at McSouth Park wouldn't it ??? Here comes someone along the road now from South Park, you can all ask him."
Grandchester arms waving, "Hello someone from South park." "do you know if they have frozen coke at the Buffalo ranch in South Park". Man from South Park answers. " yes I do know." "No young man, all they have is frozen Pepsi". Oh Darn" says, Chester not feeling very Grand. You can get a frozen coke over in Breckenridge. Just take the South Park express over Boreas Pass. Chester ask." do you know Eric Cartman"
Man answers, "Sure thing young man everybody in the South park......
Camping on Lake Dillon
Last edited by kokopup; 06-26-2011 at 09:24 AM.
“You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
— Unknown
Grandchester arms waving, "Hello someone from South park." "do you know if they have frozen coke at the Buffalo ranch in South Park". Man from South Park answers. " yes I do know." "No young man, all they have is frozen Pepsi". Oh Darn" says, Chester not feeling very Grand. You can get a frozen coke over in Breckenridge. Just take the South Park express over Boreas Pass. Chester ask." do you know Eric Cartman"
Man answers, "Sure thing young man everybody in the South park......
Camping on Lake Dillon
Camping on Lake Dillon knows Eric Cartman. He cleans outhouses with a tooth brush for the park service along with greeting the guests & putting pennies in the electric outlets when the fuses blow he is now . . . .
Camping on Lake Dillon knows Eric Cartman. He cleans outhouses with a tooth brush for the park service along with greeting the guests & putting pennies in the electric outlets when the fuses blow he is now . . . .
...an impessive example of our younger generation. I can see him getting a Doctorate Degree in outhouse maintenance or some other lucrative endeaver. Where are you guys going if I might ask. Chester speaks up," to Breckenridge to get a frozen coke." Bill speaks up, he is just a little off today, No really we hope to be in South Park tomorrow maybe." Elyse speaks up, "Wait , hold that thought. I haven't agreed to this venture up the Great Divide." Wom interrupts, " are you still set on flying to Memphis." I certainly haven't been walloped with Bill's shovel. What exactly is your....
Bee in bonnet
“You live and you learn, but if you never learn, at least you are still living.”
— Unknown
...an impessive example of our younger generation. I can see him getting a Doctorate Degree in outhouse maintenance or some other lucrative endeaver. Where are you guys going if I might ask. Chester speaks up," to Breckenridge to get a frozen coke." Bill speaks up, he is just a little off today, No really we hope to be in South Park tomorrow maybe." Elyse speaks up, "Wait , hold that thought. I haven't agreed to this venture up the Great Divide." Wom interrupts, " are you still set on flying to Memphis." I certainly haven't been walloped with Bill's shovel. What exactly is your....
Bee in bonnet
...flight plan, Elyse? asks Wom. "I seem to think a good slap in the earhole will clear some cobwebs. "We all are gonna have to use some pedal power to get anywhere! Bill just heard this on MopedRockRadio that all travel has been GROUNDED. Arrggh this GreenHouse gas.
"Oh noooooo whaaaa"...sobs Elyse.
"For cryin out loud Elyse...we aren't asking you to bike it NON-STOP. We will break as much as you need. Here... get off your butt & apply some Monkey Butt talc. Does the cheeks wonders! Cassie snickers as she puts on her bike gear.
"Geesh you act like one with a bee in bonnet! says GrandChester.
When all this craze about greenhouse gas subsides you can still hop a flight out at the next airport. So heres bottled water for everyone..complements of Al & Tipper!
...flight plan, Elyse? asks Wom. "I seem to think a good slap in the earhole will clear some cobwebs. "We all are gonna have to use some pedal power to get anywhere! Bill just heard this on MopedRockRadio that all travel has been GROUNDED. Arrggh this GreenHouse gas.
"Oh noooooo whaaaa"...sobs Elyse.
"For cryin out loud Elyse...we aren't asking you to bike it NON-STOP. We will break as much as you need. Here... get off your butt & apply some Monkey Butt talc. Does the cheeks wonders! Cassie snickers as she puts on her bike gear.
"Geesh you act like one with a bee in bonnet! says GrandChester.
When all this craze about greenhouse gas subsides you can still hop a flight out at the next airport. So heres bottled water for everyone..complements of Al & Tipper!
Cow tippin'
"I wonder if the water is organic" says Elyse. " Bill I know a short cut up over Cinnamon Pass." Bonny we know about your short cuts that turn into long cuts. Really I have been up to Cinnamon Pass what a view & we can free wheel down off the switch backs once we get up there. There are cows up there with legs shorter on one side then the other & we can do some Cow tippin while we are up there. What do you all say are you game for a GREAT ADVENTURE ?????????????????????????????????
"I wonder if the water is organic" says Elyse. " Bill I know a short cut up over Cinnamon Pass." Bonny we know about your short cuts that turn into long cuts. Really I have been up to Cinnamon Pass what a view & we can free wheel down off the switch backs once we get up there. There are cows up there with legs shorter on one side then the other & we can do some Cow tippin while we are up there. What do you all say are you game for a GREAT ADVENTURE ?????????????????????????????????
Happy Trails
From a far distance they hear someone singing "Happy Trails to youuuuuuu". They hear a rustling noise in the bushes and out jumps Helen wearing a shiny silver evening gown and carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and a champagne glass in the other. She is staggering around and only wearing one shoe. Her hair which is styled in a chignon has leaves and sticks in it. Following her is ....
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Originally Posted by kokopup
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