Courtesy, manners and tradition

[Cataholic]

IMO - using those terms of endearment to address a total stranger is not at all appropriate. It implies an intimate knowledge (no-not of a sexual nature!) of this person.

And, that is what makes us so special and unique! It bothers me not at all. Some of my older clients- both genders- call me that. Maybe cause my first name is so difficult to pronouce? LOL.

[shepgirl]

Guess I'm just stuck in the old fashioned upbringing I had. I still call people MR. MRS. or Sir. If these people become close friends by all means we do call each other by our first names but otherwise I would become tongue tied calling people older than myself by their first names. And I also don't like being called dearie, honey or sweetheart by clerks or other stranfers. It just makes me squirm. Guess we all have our preferences, just the way I was raised I guess. A bit straight laced maybe but I raised my kids the same way. I've known some colleages for ages and we are close but I still refer to them as Mr. or Mrs. because they are older and more experienced than I am .

[pomtzu]

And, that is what makes us so special and unique!

Exactly!!! What a dull world this would be if we were all from the same mold!

[sasvermont]

Hmmmm, I will pause the next time I call someone deary or sweetheart, but it won't stop me! I usually pick the name to fit the situation and person. I can't control myself sometimes. I would never have thought that someone would think ill of me if I called them deary etc. etc. To each his own! I think endearment is nice! I would love to think that I had endeared myself to someone.....and imagine it to be a complete stranger! I am a happy go lucky type of person in many ways and will continue on with it!

Would it be better to call the others (strangers) - dude or dudette? Just kidding. Isn't it funny how different a take we have on things in life? And isn't it nice that we can all talk about junk like this and still get along!!!

Don't laugh, I call a close friend of mine dudette. I won't and cannot tell you what she calls me!!!!

[pomtzu]

I would love to think that I had endeared myself to someone.....and imagine it to be a complete stranger!

But.............
Just think. That person calling you dear or hon, is probably calling everyone else the same! That's not a very endearing thought IMO. Just take a look at those in line behind you at the checkout sometime - not always of the dear or hon class. LOL

[sasvermont]

Hey Ms. Pom,

Remember that not everyone qualifies to be called dear or honey. I, for example, save it for special people and circumstances and I trust if anyone is calling me dear or honey, they are responding to my being extremely nice to them, again special circumstances! I think of it as an exchange, not a given or everyday occurrence when dealing with the public! I earn my deary and honey terms and expect the recipients getting the terms from me, to do the same! I am not sure we are thinking of the exchange in the same light. That's OK.

[pomtzu]

Hey Ms. Pom,

Remember that not everyone qualifies to be called dear or honey. I, for example, save it for special people and circumstances and I trust if anyone is calling me dear or honey, they are responding to my being extremely nice to them, again special circumstances! I think of it as an exchange, not a given or everyday occurrence when dealing with the public! I earn my deary and honey terms and expect the recipients getting the terms from me, to do the same! I am not sure we are thinking of the exchange in the same light. That's OK.

Ms Pom isn't necessary. You can call me Ellie!

Let me clarify - my gripe is with people who call EVERYBODY that! I used to work in an office with a girl that called everyone "hon". She was young enough to be my daughter, and tho I did like her, I was not happy with the way she addressed me. I would have preferred she call me Ellie and I asked her to do so - since that's my name. It's almost like she couldn't take the time to remember people's names - so everyone was "hon".

[RICHARD]

I have to laugh about the comments regarding "Ma'am".

I went to a Catholic school for years.

Ma'am, Sir and all the other prefixes are BURNED INTO MY HEAD.

For me it's almost an automatic response.

I can use it to be a sarcastic response. When I want to. I use it to acknowledge a request, order or to let that person know that I have heard what they have said and have no questions about it. So, TO ME, it's an affirmative and in no way is meant to demean or comment on your age or station in life.

I got into a hassle with one woman who was the worst piece of crap on the planet. This 'woman' was an effing troll -with a bad wig to boot- and a real work of art.

Her idea of communication was to be rude, insult you and make you feel stupid.
I made the mistake of calling her, Ma'am and she jumped all over me about it.
Instead, I was counseled, I was to call her by her last name. HitShed.

Her little game was to give you her information at her speed. NO ONE WAS GOING TO GET IT ANY FASTER- so when I tried to show the proper amount of deference and be nice when I spoke to her, I got my arse handed to me.

Later on, I did it on purpose because I wanted her to know and feel that she was being an AH and I had no bearing on her job, she was too stupid or nasty to elevate, Her background-oh, she made it very clear that "some people" (men) were not going to tell her what or how to do things, and that she was not interested in learning how to run any type of tech to make her job easier.


SOOOOOOOOOOO, don't feel OLD when someone call you Ma'am, think of the deference they are showing you. When, I am reminded of that-I apologize and explain why I do it.

Sorry, I went to Catholic school and they taught me manners.


Catlady,

EFFING A STRAIGHT! Each succeeding Gen loses a little of the respect that they should have taken from their mentors.

The people who choose not to be assigned an 'honorific' should stop and then think about me speaking to THEIR PARENTS without that kind of respect.

"You were rude to my parents!" SO WHAT?

---------------

Without my glasses on MS. POM, looks like MS. PORN!


I love to laugh and share jokes with people.

My line about being called HON is relatively easy.

I say to the woman, "You can call me by my first name, Atilla".

Everyone laughs, I don't take exception and the world keeps spinning.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Let me clarify - my gripe is with people who call EVERYBODY that! I used to work in an office with a girl that called everyone "hon". She was young enough to be my daughter, and tho I did like her, I was not happy with the way she addressed me. I would have preferred she call me Ellie and I asked her to do so - since that's my name. It's almost like she couldn't take the time to remember people's names - so everyone was "hon".

This reminds me of a teacher I work with- she calls everyone (except maybe the principal) "kiddo." Actual kids, me, other teachers, you name it. It's kind of funny. I don't mind but I do find it a little odd- she's probably about 15 years older than me, but she calls teachers who are older than her kiddo too.