Part 2 (sorry, I am on a soapbox and will now step down and get to my point!!)
Richard, any everyone else: you need to get all of the Power's of Attorney, get their wishes either written down or on a video. You have now become the proud "parent" of your parent. Trust me, it is not a fun job. Don't get me wrong, I love my father and I am doing all I can to make sure he is in a safe place, with 3 meals a day, clean room and clean clothes.
You are going to find out who really loves your mom/dad and who is really just hanging around with thier hands out.
If you & your family memebers did not get along before dementia, you will really not get along now. Dementia does NOT bring a family together.
The fighting, name-calling et-all only gets worse. You will most likely never speak to these people ever again.
You know the saying "Illness brings the family closer..." that is NOT true.
Trust me - everything MUST be in writing or you too will wind up in court, and it get ugly - fast.
What you are doing is RIGHT and do not second guess yourself.
Richard- you ARE doing the right thing, and do not let your family tell you otherwise.
P.S.
Follow the advise of others about your nephew......boot his 26 year old arse out & change the locks. You do not need to deal with him, or anyone else right now.
OK - time for me to stop my rant. Sorry if I went on & on.
Good Luck!
Bunny
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