Dig your way out of this mess?

[Asiel]

I suppose the real issue is "why should someone be faithful in their marriage ??"
Any feedback on that one ????[/QUOTE]


That's like saying why shouldn't I go out and kill someone or steal what I want? And screw the consequences. What a funny way to look at it.
Don't forget that 70% of the world population isn't that much, we aren't talking just the U.S. And if 70% of the people decide to jump off a 20 storey building I suppose that means we should all follow the same trend? Why not, after all everyone else is doing it?
The ten commandments are maybe hard to obey but we would never dream of breaking them would we? Just the one for adultery, I guess that one doesn't count?

If someone enters a marriage with that kind of thinking then they shouldn't be getting married. Why bother with a huge fanfare when you're planning the next one just around the corner?
Adultery is adultery no matter what people want to call it.
Cheating is not something that just happens or isn't in a person's control. We are all responsible for our actions. It's up to you if you want to respect the committment made to your spouse by being faithful or betray their trust for a romp between the sheets that probably means nothing to the other person, a fun time is all most are looking for. If you need to remove a few wrinkles and pockets of fat to advertise yourself, then by all means go for it. But true love and a real marriage means you're loved for yourself flaws and all, that means a lot more to me, having someone there on the stormy days as well as the sunny ones.
And if the person is willing to cheat once it won't be the last. Before jumping between the sheets try thinking what other sheets the person has been between and what you might just be bringing home to your spouse and maybe another child.
I did say a marriage was hard work, if you don't have what it takes to see it through then go about your bed hopping but don't ruin other lives along with yours.

This is about the sickest, self absorbed post I've ever read, and to think this is supposed to be a pet forum.

[wombat2u2004]

"That's like saying why shouldn't I go out and kill someone or steal what I want? And screw the consequences. What a funny way to look at it."

Why ???? There's laws against killing and stealing, there isn't laws against adultery.

"And if 70% of the people decide to jump off a 20 storey building I suppose that means we should all follow the same trend? Why not, after all everyone else is doing it?"

Hmmmmm....that's not much of an example. We all eat lunch for the same reason....don't we ???

"The ten commandments are maybe hard to obey but we would never dream of breaking them would we? Just the one for adultery, I guess that one doesn't count?"

Well that depends on if one believes there ever was a Ten Commandments.

"If someone enters a marriage with that kind of thinking then they shouldn't be getting married. Why bother with a huge fanfare when you're planning the next one just around the corner?"

Would everyone who got married believe at that time that there is going to be another marriage in their lives (just around the corner) ??
I think not.....people change, feelings change, partner expectations are not met, people fall out of love...it happens over time, and all of the time.

"Cheating is not something that just happens or isn't in a person's control."

No it isn't. I'm sure they are doing what they want to do, and for their very own personal reasons.

"Before jumping between the sheets try thinking what other sheets the person has been between and what you might just be bringing home to your spouse and maybe another child."

There is adequate protection that people use, and besides, even if they didn't, it would be no different than most people were exposed to before marriage in the promiscuous society that we all live in, in this day and age.

"I did say a marriage was hard work, if you don't have what it takes to see it through then go about your bed hopping but don't ruin other lives along with yours."

And if both partners don't follow through with that hard work ??? If one does and the other doesn't ??? What then ????

"This is about the sickest, self absorbed post I've ever read, and to think this is supposed to be a pet forum. :rolleyes"

Why is it so self absorbed ??? You've given your views, I've given mine, Marigold, Pom and Bonny have given there's. Nobody has to agree with anyone....this is DogHouse....we discuss....yes ????

[pomtzu]

Wom - #6 I agree with 100% - and that's why I am divorced. However, in the time that this was happening, I wasn't sleeping around, and my ex wasn't spreading his genes around either.

[wombat2u2004]

Wom - #6 I agree with 100% - and that's why I am divorced. However, in the time that this was happening, I wasn't sleeping around, and my ex wasn't spreading his genes around either.

Then you and hubby are a minority. Most people do sleep around during separation and divorce........why is that so wrong ????

[pomtzu]

Then you and hubby are a minority. Most people do sleep around during separation and divorce........why is that so wrong ????

Like I said - different people/different values.
And maybe if those people weren't expending so much energy with ones other than their spouse, they might be putting it into trying to resolve issues of the pending separation/divorce too. That's just a silly thought tho.....

[wombat2u2004]

Like I said - different people/different values.
And maybe if those people weren't expending so much energy with ones other than their spouse, they might be putting it into trying to resolve issues of the pending separation/divorce too. That's just a silly thought tho.....

Perhaps they could try some kind of resolution, but usually at that point it's too late.

[pomtzu]

Perhaps they could try some kind of resolution, but usually at that point it's too late.

That's the point I was getting at. At least if they would try, even if it didn't work, then when they do go their separate ways, they might feel better about themselves. I would rather think I put some effort into a possible resolution, rather than running away and seeking solace with others who probably don't give a rat's a$$ about me anyway, no matter how sweet the talk they talk.

Just a little bit of useless info here: if my ex and I hadn't split, today would have been our 48th anniversary. Yup - I really am ancient!!!!

[Asiel]

Yes, we're dicusiing and as far as I'm concerned my views are not the same as yours. As pom said...different people , different values. My values are a mite high to start changing my opinion. As for the Ten Commnadnments people are free to believe or not...you say there are laws that tell you not to kill? Well, the Ten commandments tell you"thou shalt not kill" so Adultery is also agaisnt the law then.
Whatever...if it pleases some to disrespect their vows and lifetime partners so be it, wonder if the future will be worth it? I for one will not have scars from trying to beautify myself for some stranger who happens to make a hobby out of flirting and counting the number of his "hits".
Since I'm considered one of the geese maybe it's time to start flying...''

I might add that I'm so very grateful for the lifelong ideals and morals my parents have instilled in me. No wonder we have so many kids falling through the cracks today, they just don't count as far as the parents are concerned...looking good and bouncing around from bed to bed is more important than being there for the child. Great example for them...
And I did say marriage was hard work, if you can't take the heat, then leave the kitchen.

[wombat2u2004]

Yes, we're dicusiing and as far as I'm concerned my views are not the same as yours. As pom said...different people , different values. My values are a mite high to start changing my opinion. As for the Ten Commnadnments people are free to believe or not...you say there are laws that tell you not to kill? Well, the Ten commandments tell you"thou shalt not kill" so Adultery is also agaisnt the law then.
Whatever...if it pleases some to disrespect their vows and lifetime partners so be it, wonder if the future will be worth it? I for one will not have scars from trying to beautify myself for some stranger who happens to make a hobby out of flirting and counting the number of his "hits".
Since I'm considered one of the geese maybe it's time to start flying...''

I might add that I'm so very grateful for the lifelong ideals and morals my parents have instilled in me. No wonder we have so many kids falling through the cracks today, they just don't count as far as the parents are concerned...looking good and bouncing around from bed to bed is more important than being there for the child. Great example for them...
And I did say marriage was hard work, if you can't take the heat, then leave the kitchen.

But these people are consenting adults, they are not doing anything that they believe is wrong. It's not against the law. They are free to choose how they live their own lives.
Why condemn someone who doesn't look up to your expectations as to how they should behave ???

[wombat2u2004]

Sorry kiddies.
I'm still with Marigold on this issue.

[Bonny]

Marriage can be like a hard day at the salt mines. Been there did that am still there doing that will continue to do that. Am I crazy maybe. Maybe a person likes a challenge & that is what marriage is. My hubby has had health problems the last 2 years & the scariest thing in the vows for me was in sickness & in health & now it has come true. Just take one day at a time in- hale x- hale & hope for the best. We are partners to the end.

[wombat2u2004]

Marriage can be like a hard day at the salt mines. Been there did that am still there doing that will continue to do that. Am I crazy maybe. Maybe a person likes a challenge & that is what marriage is. My hubby has had health problems the last 2 years & the scariest thing in the vows for me was in sickness & in health & now it has come true. Just take one day at a time in- hale x- hale & hope for the best. We are partners to the end.

And that is admirable Bonny...it really is.
But the sad fact is......there are a lot of people that don't think like that.

[Asiel]

But these people are consenting adults, they are not doing anything that they believe is wrong. It's not against the law. They are free to choose how they live their own lives.
Why condemn someone who doesn't look up to your expectations as to how they should behave ???

Yes, they are consenting aduts even if I think they're acting like spoiled brats who want every toy in the store. But condemning them, no I'm not condeming them, I couldn't care less what they think of my values or opinions. Not doing anything that they believe is wrong? Sorry, the fact they they can be found in seedy motels or out of the way places so they won't be recognized makes me think they know that they are doing wrong. I'll just keep working on my own life and they can do what they want with theirs. I see quite a few elderly people in nursing homes who never get visitors...the reason? They chose to wreck their family in favour of a romp in the hay so the family doesn't have anything to do with them. Are they lonely...you bet, too late for them. That romp in the hay wasn't the answer to their troubles but it hurt a lot of people along the way . You reap what you sow has always been my belief.
Funny how the OP went into hiding after the discussion got under way, must be sitting back laughing , reminds me so much of someone else....stir the honey pot and let's see how many bees I get...


Bonny---I have to agree with you about the "in sickness and in health" part.
Anyone who can work through that one deserves a medal. To so many it would be an excuse to justify walking out, bravo to those who remember their vows...forever and ever till death do you part.

[pomtzu]

Funny how the OP went into hiding after the discussion got under way, must be sitting back laughing , reminds me so much of someone else....stir the honey pot and let's see how many bees I get...

Careful there girl - you might wake the other one up. Let the lion sleep!

[Asiel]

Careful there girl - you might wake the other one up. Let the lion sleep!

Yeah, slipped my mind, sorry about that. Maybe that lion has a thorn in the mouth