Sad Update

[Catty1]

There are other factors here - not the least of them being that a person on a limited income likely has limited choices in housing...and that few of those will accept 3 dogs and 2 cats.

Add to that the care of 3 children...I think it could get overwhelming expense and housing-wise.

JMO

[shepgirl]

I am sorry to hear this. AND, only since you posted, I will tell you MY opinion. I wouldn't do it. I am familiar with therapists/counselors/LSW, etc. I have never known one that dictates a course of action for the patient to follow. And, even if one did, I would never let someone else's course of action rule mine, especially when it goes against my heart.

One time I made a decision to rehome a cat. I had all the 'right' reasons. I regret it to this day, and this was almost 20 years ago. I will never do it again. Never.

I would encourage you to come to some other conclusion.

You're absolutely right Cataholic - no therapist, psychologist or counsellor would ever consider telling someone that. On the contrary, they would encourage you to keep their animals when they brought comfort and stability in someone's life. If I ever took this action I would be as sleepless as you for the rest of my life.

[Catty1]

So yours never told you this, shepgirl?

[shepgirl]

I wouldn't need anyone to tell me not to take in more animals than I could give a forever home to - simple math my dear Watson.

But meanwhile, no one in a medical profession tells a patient this unless for physical ailments such as rashes , allergies, which a person would be smart enough to know if owning the first animal.

[Catty1]

Well, none of us were there - so we don't know if this was a discussion, or what.

I think low income and trouble getting future rentals with the # of animals might be factors as well. Feeding 5 pets, 3 kids and one adult can take a bite out of things financially. So I would suspect it was an examination of the factors, and a strong recommendation, rather than an "order".

I don't know about other areas, but in Alberta a single person on AISH gets $1,050.00 per month. With kids, I think it is $100 per, or something. Medical is covered, rent may be subsidized...it could still add up.

So we shall see.

[jennielynn1970]

Candace, no offense, but why don't you let Nicole speak for herself. We can project all we want, but it won't be her answer.



I would never "get rid" of any of my animals based on a therapist or doctor recommendation. And it was recommended. Not happening. I've got a limited income at this point, but I'll deal. But, that being said, is my choice. My choice wouldn't necessarily be your choice or Nicole's choice, or anyone else's choice. Everyone's position is different.

[Catlady711]

Can't quite figure out how one sad post gets into a minor dissagreement over semantics when her first post clearly (at least to me) said it all.....

My therapist helped me come to the conclusion

[Catty1]

Thank you, Catlady.

[NicoleLJ]

THank you catlady. Man and you all said you would be a support to me. I have been having a hard enough time with this decision without reading and dealing with all this too. And on top of dealing with the police and my husbands breaches of contact. Even while in jail. THank goodness the phone is now set up that he cann't call me and he might have his phone priviliges taken away.

Look I have a ton on my plate ALONG with my disabilty. PLus the fact that a few days ago I tore my rotator cuff in my shoulder all the way down to my bicept and my doctor says I have artritis in both my elbows too. More stuff on more stuff on more stuff. I am trying to find joy in the little things. Trying. But post like these sure make it hard.

THe therapist helped me go over a budget plan and helped me see over 3 - 4 weeks that I am over loaded. I can't handle the bills I have now without my husbands income. I didn't expect this. He gambled away all our savings, pawned off many of our valuables, got loans and credit cards I had no idea about. I have already talked to a lawyer and am doing what I can.

DO you really honestly think that I want to get rid of my babies? If you do then you really are not my friends and you really don't know or care about me or what I am going through. Candance knows because she is on with me every day for what, almost two years? SHe has been my saving grace. My true friend. She has truely understood the pain I am going through on a daily basis.

I am sorry that you think I am an orger for having to rehome the kittens and Luca but through therapy I know it needs to be done so I can get a good, safe home for my kids and me and provide them a life. Sorry for upsetting you all.

[Karen]

No one has said you were an ogre, they were just saying they would not give up their animals, but everyone has acknowledged that they are not in your shoes. Don't take their disagreements as criticism, they are just honest disagreements. Only you know what is right for you!

[Medusa]

No one has said you were an ogre, they were just saying they would not give up their animals, but everyone has acknowledged that they are not in your shoes. Don't take their disagreements as criticism, they are just honest disagreements. Only you know what is right for you!

What Karen said. Your last comment was that you hope no one hates you for giving up your pets. No one hates you, I'm sure, but you obviously knew that some would disagree w/your decision or else you wouldn't have written that. I, as well as others, have said that you must do what's good for you; we just want to be sure that you weren't pressured into anything. Peace.

[Cataholic]

When one makes a public post on a public board, and references the conflicted feelings the OP has, herself, one cannot then stand back in anger and question anyone's true feelings.

Even knowing your situation, as you have now clarified, I still would not give up a single pet of mine. That is MY choice, not yours, as someone else mentioned. I would still caution the heck out of you in doing so, as if you think the trauma you have now is deafening, wait until then...it might get worse. I still believe there must be another alternative. It doesn't make me 'hate' you, or not support your decision...but, simply throwing out there a hearty, "go for it" would be so untrue to you, frankly. Supporting a person or their decision doesn't equate to turning a blind eye towards the outcome. I am sure this is something your counselor addressed with you, though.

[NicoleLJ]

ok got it. Since you guys didn't read the post properly and took it as my therapist ordering me to get rid of my pets and you all asuming I have not looked at all the alternatives then some how I should still keep all five pets as a singe parent on aish with a rent of 1450 and an in come of 1088 and other bills on top of that. You do the math. I have been working on this for months. Angonizing over it. Sometimes there are no choices but one. WOW it is amazing what people can assume about a proffesional domestic violence therapist and when they then realize they made a mistake when they reread the wording they can't even apologize.

I do appreciate the ones that are supporting me. But the ones that jumped the gun so quickly with no real facts, no thanks. If you had questions unanswered, why not pm me? or email me. I would have answered them.

As for the blind eye comment exactly my point. I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that I can't feed 3 large dogs and 2 cats or give them proper vet care. My therapist helped me see that when we went over the budget plan. She showed me I not only could not pay all the bills but I could not put any away on savings either.
Nicole

[Medusa]

ok got it. Since you guys didn't read the post properly and took it as my therapist ordering me to get rid of my pets and you all asuming I have not looked at all the alternatives then some how I should still keep all five pets as a singe parent on aish with a rent of 1450 and an in come of 1088 and other bills on top of that. You do the math. I have been working on this for months. Angonizing over it. Sometimes there are no choices but one. WOW it is amazing what people can assume about a proffesional domestic violence therapist and when they then realize they made a mistake when they reread the wording they can't even apologize.

I do appreciate the ones that are supporting me. But the ones that jumped the gun so quickly with no real facts, no thanks. If you had questions unanswered, why not pm me? or email me. I would have answered them.

As for the blind eye comment exactly my point. I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that I can't feed 3 large dogs and 2 cats or give them proper vet care. My therapist helped me see that when we went over the budget plan. She showed me I not only could not pay all the bills but I could not put any away on savings either.
Nicole

Nicole, this is a pet forum, after all, and people get emotional about animals. If you post about anything, no matter the subject, you can't reasonably expect everyone to agree w/you. That doesn't mean that people hate you or think you're an ogre. It simply means that they disagree w/your decision and since you put it out there for discussion, now you have differing points of view. Stop looking at this as a betrayal and see it for what it is, differences of opinion.

[jennielynn1970]

I agree with what Mary said.

Also I think this... You stated what was going on. You wanted friends to back you up.

Friends will tell you what they think. Friends will tell you if they feel maybe you should seek another alternative.

A friend doesn't just agree with everything you say.

I don't think anyone on here is out to get you or is not "friendly" or isn't looking at what your best interests may be.

They're looking at the situation, telling you what they would do, in that situation, in all honesty. They aren't say YOU have to do it. They're saying maybe you can do this... here is another option.

That, right there, is friendship.