Sad Update

[NicoleLJ]

Shep girl Wrote "You're absolutely right Cataholic - no therapist, psychologist or counsellor would ever consider telling someone that. On the contrary, they would encourage you to keep their animals when they brought comfort and stability in someone's life. If I ever took this action I would be as sleepless as you for the rest of my life."

"But meanwhile, no one in a medical profession tells a patient this unless for physical ailments such as rashes , allergies, which a person would be smart enough to know if owning the first animal."



Jenn_Librarian wrote:
"I would never "get rid" of any of my animals based on a therapist or doctor recommendation. And it was recommended. Not happening. I've got a limited income at this point, but I'll deal. But, that being said, is my choice. My choice wouldn't necessarily be your choice or Nicole's choice, or anyone else's choice. Everyone's position is different."



As you have all since realized it was not recomemded. I came to the conclusion myself with the help of my therapist in several sesions. This is why I what an apology. Not drama. Why is asking for an apology for my friend and therapist, which is warrented, considered drama, yet the cruel things that shepgirl has stated all twisted by the way has not been. Interesting.

[jennielynn1970]

oh who cares what she said. if you don't like it, block her or don't read her stuff.

I said I made the decision for myself. My doctor (allergist) recommended me getting rid of the cats. My therapist said "go and volunteer some more"... I do that and I'll have more cats. SO.... you have to take things with a grain of salt. I decided to volunteer with the elderly. More than likely I can't adopt one of them and take them home with me, lol!

I didn't mean anything untoward about your therapist. You do what is right for you. You said you were making that decision for yourself.

I just don't get all the drama you want to keep bringing up.


and here I am feeding into it. Sigh.

[sparks19]

I'm sorry you are going through this NicoleJ

I'll tell ya what. if it came down to feeding my child and keeping a roof over her head or keeping the dogs... Beezer and Belle would be off to new homes. No one has to like it or agree but Hannah comes first... ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. Doesn't mean that I don't love Beezer and Belle but would it really be fair to them to be in a home that couldn't provide basic vet care let alone if an emergency happened or might not be able to feed them all day.

I would hope that never in my life will I have to make a decision like that... but I can say with all certainty that if it came down to it and I couldn't afford to feed my children and my dogs... the dogs would be gone. I love them but my loyalties HAVE to lie with my daughter.

ETA: I just read sumbirdy's post... and I couldn't agree more.

[Cataholic]

I'll tell ya what. if it came down to feeding my child and keeping a roof over her head or keeping the dogs... Beezer and Belle would be off to new homes. No one has to like it or agree but Hannah comes first... ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS. Doesn't mean that I don't love Beezer and Belle but would it really be fair to them to be in a home that couldn't provide basic vet care let alone if an emergency happened or might not be able to feed them all day.

I would hope that never in my life will I have to make a decision like that... but I can say with all certainty that if it came down to it and I couldn't afford to feed my children and my dogs... the dogs would be gone. I love them but my loyalties HAVE to lie with my daughter.

.

I have heard this statment before....or, a variation on it..kids first, humans first, etc. I guess I don't see it so black and white (despite the black and whites living in my home). To me, this argument is akin to who would you save first, your husband or your child, or child A or child B. Certainly, we could all agree that you would do whatever you could to save them all, right?

I think that is what the majority of the people here in this thread are saying, they would save both. Perhaps life is so fragile for the OP that saving the animals is simply not an option. I don't know where her kids are, and if they, too, are taken into the equation (as with the numbers she posted, I can't see feeding one adult on that budget, let alone 3 children). So much is not known. But, and that is a but for me....I couldn't do it. Does that mean I am a rotten, horrible parent? Maybe! LOL, I do sometimes forget to feed Jonah lunch if he doesn't say, "I am hungry"....(well, I did do that twice anyhow)...but, to me, my heart doesn't recognize the levels of love that others are able to articulate.

If it were a matter of feeding my child or my pets, I would go hungry, and I would scrounge, scavenge, mooch, whatever so that the 7 of them are fed. If kids/parents can live on mac and cheese or beans and rice for a month, then, my pets could do with something less, too.

[sparks19]

I have heard this statment before....or, a variation on it..kids first, humans first, etc. I guess I don't see it so black and white (despite the black and whites living in my home). To me, this argument is akin to who would you save first, your husband or your child, or child A or child B. Certainly, we could all agree that you would do whatever you could to save them all, right?

I think that is what the majority of the people here in this thread are saying, they would save both. Perhaps life is so fragile for the OP that saving the animals is simply not an option. I don't know where her kids are, and if they, too, are taken into the equation (as with the numbers she posted, I can't see feeding one adult on that budget, let alone 3 children). So much is not known. But, and that is a but for me....I couldn't do it. Does that mean I am a rotten, horrible parent? Maybe! LOL, I do sometimes forget to feed Jonah lunch if he doesn't say, "I am hungry"....(well, I did do that twice anyhow)...but, to me, my heart doesn't recognize the levels of love that others are able to articulate.

If it were a matter of feeding my child or my pets, I would go hungry, and I would scrounge, scavenge, mooch, whatever so that the 7 of them are fed. If kids/parents can live on mac and cheese or beans and rice for a month, then, my pets could do with something less, too.

I agree that everything in your power should be done to keep your pets... but sometimes life doesn't always give you the option for BOTH. things happen and I know it's hard to imagine life getting so dark that this would really need to be considered but sometimes it happens.

I don't know the in's and out's of what is going on with Nicole or her kids or her pets.

I can only speak for myself... and IF it REALLY came down to it I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Hannah would come FIRST. It's not ideal, it's not a decision I would ever like to have to make, it's not something I would wish on my very worst enemy. But if it came down to it... REALLY came down to the bare essentials of keeping food in her belly and a roof over her head OR feeding the dogs... I have to choose hannah. It would break my heart to get rid of the dogs, it really would and it shoudln't ever be an easy thing to do... but Hannah comes first... period. I would do whatever I could to "save both" but sometimes life doesn't give you that option.

[shepgirl]

Sumbirdy please don't judge me by the drama you read here. There might be something you are not aware of. I said nothing that I should apologize for so don't say I am bashing Nicole. She asked our point of view and mine is that I could never give up my animals as they are as important as the rest of my family. When I make a commitment to a pet it's for it's life, plain and simple. I don't buy on impulse and I don't act on impulse. do your homework before dragging me down in this drama.
Don't forget we are the masters of our own destiny. If we can't make the right decisions then we shouldn't cast blame on others.
And be aware that evryone on this forum has problems that they are trying to solve. No one lives the perfect life Just because we don't dramatize our situation doesn't mean we are problem free.

[NicoleLJ]

WOW I wish I had your power of percetion. I wish I knew when I married my husband that my life was going to turn out this way. I wish I could predicted my own future like you can. You sound like you make no mistakes and you can see the future.

Sorry but what has happened the past while has not been my fault entirely. THanks to my therapy I know that. In fact very little of it is my fault so no matter how you try to make me look I am doing nothing wrong accept trying to put myself in a better potion to care for myself, my children and the few pets I can keep. I am being responsible when the one othre adult in this relation ship was not. I chose life over death. Thank you. I chose to walk away from his beatings and chose to no longer be his victim. I am being responsible. So you can have what ever opinion you want and you may have chosen to stay in the relationship for the money to keep the pets. I didn't. My kids and I deserve better.

[Catty1]

Since Karen and Paul can't be everywhere at once, it is best to contact them by PM - or to click the little red-lined triangle with the red exclamation mark beside every post which enables you to report an inappropriate post.

[sumbirdy]

In my opinion, if a pet can no longer be cared for then that pet is better off rehomed, living somewhere where it CAN be cared for. Why, I wonder, would ANYONE choose to keep a pet if they were in this situation? It's selfish, all you would be doing is hurting your pet. I believe Nicole loves her pets so much that she's realized that they are better off with someone else.

I love my dogs so much and I wouldn't be able to look into their eyes knowing they were hungry, because I was selfish and chose to keep them despite not being able to afford it. Sure, I would try my best, but sometimes someone's best just isn't good enough, especially when you have 3 young children who come first. I'm sure this decision is heartbreaking for her, and that she's exhausted every other option, but this is the only one that will work.

So instead of bashing her and trying to tell her what her life is like and throwing her mistakes in her face at this difficult time (that one's mostly to you shepgirl) why not just say "I wouldn't do that, but I hope this is the best decision in your circumstances, so your pets will get the proper care they deserve."

Nicole, I know this is heartbreaking for you, you are doing all you can do. Maybe you can find a home where you can visit them often.

[Cataholic]

Why is asking for an apology for my friend and therapist, which is warrented, considered drama, yet the cruel things that shepgirl has stated all twisted by the way has not been. Interesting.

Your FRIEND???
Your therapist is your FRIEND???

[NicoleLJ]

Yes I consider her a trusted friend and condidant, SOmeone I can tell everything too and can help me in my darkest times. She laughs with me and cries with me.

DO I see her outside of the office? No. Does that mean she is not a friend? No. I consider my doctor my friend too. IS that shocking also. What about my psychologist? Should he not be allowed to be seen as a friend. I neever see them outside the office but that does not mean I can not build a trusting relationship that I could call a friendship with them.