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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,861
    No one has said you were an ogre, they were just saying they would not give up their animals, but everyone has acknowledged that they are not in your shoes. Don't take their disagreements as criticism, they are just honest disagreements. Only you know what is right for you!

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Karen View Post
    No one has said you were an ogre, they were just saying they would not give up their animals, but everyone has acknowledged that they are not in your shoes. Don't take their disagreements as criticism, they are just honest disagreements. Only you know what is right for you!
    What Karen said. Your last comment was that you hope no one hates you for giving up your pets. No one hates you, I'm sure, but you obviously knew that some would disagree w/your decision or else you wouldn't have written that. I, as well as others, have said that you must do what's good for you; we just want to be sure that you weren't pressured into anything. Peace.
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio USA
    Posts
    11,467
    When one makes a public post on a public board, and references the conflicted feelings the OP has, herself, one cannot then stand back in anger and question anyone's true feelings.

    Even knowing your situation, as you have now clarified, I still would not give up a single pet of mine. That is MY choice, not yours, as someone else mentioned. I would still caution the heck out of you in doing so, as if you think the trauma you have now is deafening, wait until then...it might get worse. I still believe there must be another alternative. It doesn't make me 'hate' you, or not support your decision...but, simply throwing out there a hearty, "go for it" would be so untrue to you, frankly. Supporting a person or their decision doesn't equate to turning a blind eye towards the outcome. I am sure this is something your counselor addressed with you, though.

  4. #4
    ok got it. Since you guys didn't read the post properly and took it as my therapist ordering me to get rid of my pets and you all asuming I have not looked at all the alternatives then some how I should still keep all five pets as a singe parent on aish with a rent of 1450 and an in come of 1088 and other bills on top of that. You do the math. I have been working on this for months. Angonizing over it. Sometimes there are no choices but one. WOW it is amazing what people can assume about a proffesional domestic violence therapist and when they then realize they made a mistake when they reread the wording they can't even apologize.

    I do appreciate the ones that are supporting me. But the ones that jumped the gun so quickly with no real facts, no thanks. If you had questions unanswered, why not pm me? or email me. I would have answered them.

    As for the blind eye comment exactly my point. I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that I can't feed 3 large dogs and 2 cats or give them proper vet care. My therapist helped me see that when we went over the budget plan. She showed me I not only could not pay all the bills but I could not put any away on savings either.
    Nicole

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleLJ View Post
    ok got it. Since you guys didn't read the post properly and took it as my therapist ordering me to get rid of my pets and you all asuming I have not looked at all the alternatives then some how I should still keep all five pets as a singe parent on aish with a rent of 1450 and an in come of 1088 and other bills on top of that. You do the math. I have been working on this for months. Angonizing over it. Sometimes there are no choices but one. WOW it is amazing what people can assume about a proffesional domestic violence therapist and when they then realize they made a mistake when they reread the wording they can't even apologize.

    I do appreciate the ones that are supporting me. But the ones that jumped the gun so quickly with no real facts, no thanks. If you had questions unanswered, why not pm me? or email me. I would have answered them.

    As for the blind eye comment exactly my point. I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that I can't feed 3 large dogs and 2 cats or give them proper vet care. My therapist helped me see that when we went over the budget plan. She showed me I not only could not pay all the bills but I could not put any away on savings either.
    Nicole
    Nicole, this is a pet forum, after all, and people get emotional about animals. If you post about anything, no matter the subject, you can't reasonably expect everyone to agree w/you. That doesn't mean that people hate you or think you're an ogre. It simply means that they disagree w/your decision and since you put it out there for discussion, now you have differing points of view. Stop looking at this as a betrayal and see it for what it is, differences of opinion.
    Blessings,
    Mary



    "Time and unforeseen occurrence befall us all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

  6. #6
    I agree with what Mary said.

    Also I think this... You stated what was going on. You wanted friends to back you up.

    Friends will tell you what they think. Friends will tell you if they feel maybe you should seek another alternative.

    A friend doesn't just agree with everything you say.

    I don't think anyone on here is out to get you or is not "friendly" or isn't looking at what your best interests may be.

    They're looking at the situation, telling you what they would do, in that situation, in all honesty. They aren't say YOU have to do it. They're saying maybe you can do this... here is another option.

    That, right there, is friendship.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    872
    Quote Originally Posted by jenn_librarian View Post
    I agree with what Mary said.

    Also I think this... You stated what was going on. You wanted friends to back you up.

    Friends will tell you what they think. Friends will tell you if they feel maybe you should seek another alternative.

    A friend doesn't just agree with everything you say.

    I don't think anyone on here is out to get you or is not "friendly" or isn't looking at what your best interests may be.

    They're looking at the situation, telling you what they would do, in that situation, in all honesty. They aren't say YOU have to do it. They're saying maybe you can do this... here is another option.

    That, right there, is friendship.
    Very well said jenn.

    Nicole you posted in August trying to find a foster home for Luca and you were told by friends that it would be better to rehome him then as older pets are harder to rehome. You got upset with that. 3 months later you are back looking for a home for him. You have to admit that you change your mind so often that it gets hard to follow the drama each time. You needed a home for Luca but went out and bought kittens..now the kittens are too much..etc etc. It's only been 3 mos since you were taking holidays, enjoying yourself and supposed to be moving to Canada, but you say you have been agonizing over the decision for months. It is very hard to know where you're at from one minute to the next.

    I just said that as an animal lover and owner I feel my animals are as important as my kids and I would never give them up . Also you said all your therapists approved of the animals, now you say different. Isn't getting rid of the animals teaching kids that pets are a disposable item when the going gets rough?

  8. #8
    No one said anything nasty about your therapist. Why would anyone have to apologize about her??

    You posted, you got upset when opinions were stated, even when most were nice (I said most), and now you want more drama. Why??


    That being said.....

    I hope you find a good home for Luka, and for the kitties. I wish you all the luck with getting a place and hopefully landing back on your feet to care for your kids. I don't think anyone would wish you differently.

    Just let it rest, unless you want the drama.

  9. #9
    What they said about my therapist was not a differing point of opinion. It was not taking the time to read the post properly. I can understand people saying they disagree and they would live on the street rather then give up their pets and all that, That is their opinion. But they were judging someone they did not even know. Along with not knowing all the facts and still not knowing all the facts. THat would take hours and pages. I know this is a pet forum. THis is a pet topic.

    I volunteered in rescue for 12-13 years. There are times when people really do have no choice but to rehome their pets. I am not giving mine over to a rescue. I am trying to rehome them myself. It is not like I decided out of the blue I was bored with them. I do not look at my babies that way. I hate the state of affiars my husband has left me in not caring one whit what happens to us. Bad things happen to good people and pets whether we like it or not. Or whether we expect it or not.

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