I will echo the others, especially after you said that you never hear from her unless she needs something. If she's been working on the divorce for a while now, she should also have been working on the "what next" plan. If it didn't please her to be living with you when she was 17, it's not going to be any easier now.

My siblings and I were informed - even before we were even of child-bearing age - that my mother was NOT going to be a "babysitting grandmother." Just because you are a grandmother, that doesn't mean you have to agree to let them all live with you!

We were also raised knowing "You make your bed, you lie in it." As in, we'll always love you, but don't expect us to bail you out of messes you make.

If your daughter doesn't know these things by now, well, it's never too late to learn 'em!