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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
gulp..."I'd rather be mud wrestling with a bunch of Sumo wrestlers than eat that mushroom concoction Bonnie made...says GrandChester.
"Oh Bradley, I know its hard to choose which stinky woman is best for the dirty romantic weekend" says Helen with a sigh. Take my word for it, I have not bathed since the airport fiasco a good 3 weeks ago. Gotta say I am the raunchiest one.. brags Helen.
And the drunkest!! laughs Bonnie.
The heat is on
"RIGHT !!!! The heat is on now, you lot." Yelled Wom. "I''ll have you all know that I am the drunkest SOB (Son ofa Bragger) here. And I can prove it !!! Once I had a drinking binge with Bonnie, and I drank her under the table. Yep, there she was, flat out on the floor under the table, covered in peanut shells and other sundry detritus from upturned ashtrays. I felt kind of sorry for her, so I threw the tablecloth over her so she could sleep it off. When I returned in the morning, Bonnie was................"Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandChester
Raw eggs, vodka and ketchup cocktail
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
...back up at the bar sitting next to what looked like a monkey, mixing up her raw eggs, vodka and ketchup cocktail.
In walks Bill..."Good Morning...Is breakfast ready Bonnie"?
Bill looked closer at the monkey..." Oops, that must be the bartender from last night"
"Tis not, Bill...meet Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt! Thats my cute pet name for him". Bonnie slurps on her cocktail then says "Pull up a stool Bill. We have a bit of a dilemma. Last night Wom.......
bail bondsman
got his butt into big trouble. He was trying to talk Bradley/Bradford Peat Pitt into free drinks around the bar. Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt refused, so Wom threw him out the door into the parking lot. The Park Ranger showed up & darted Wom & hauled him off in one of those bear trap cages. He is now in the jug & the bail bondsman has set his bond at a million bucks. Now what .......Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandChester
jail break :eek:
:eek: ONE MILLION? Bonny, this can't be! said GrandChester.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
"Now what to do? Plan a jail break I guess?! We certainly cant let Wom sitting in the joint"!
Bradley/Bradford Pear Pitt speaks up.." I certainly have the money to bail him out. Oh no wait...Angie wants to adopt another child. Jail break it is!!
" I can turn on the charm over at the jail and claim we are filming Oceans 14 here. Ill get the keys from the guard saying we need these for props.
Bonny Ill toss you the keys.....Helen you can drive the getaway mo-ped its up and running again! Cassiesmom you....
shrimp on the bar-b
.......can throw a shrimp on the bar-b for Wom, and put some beer on ice for him to. You know Wom is such a fantastic great guy, we have to look out for him and treat him in the manner of which he is accustomed to."Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandChester
Just then, there was a loud explosion, and Wom came staggering out of a gaping hole in the wall.
"Quick, into the moped everyone" Yelled Grand Chester.
And off they sped down the road.
"What on earth happened ?" Said Elyse "I had a beer in one hand, and a shrimp in the other, and all of a sudden it was like all noise and fireworks."
"I think I know what happened" Said Wom. "Bill took his still over to the water tap to put some water in it, and you know what happens when fresh water is mixed with battery acid and whatever else he tries to cook up in that still. Anyway, did anyone manage to save my shrimp ??"
"Oh my God' said Elyse 'talking about shrimp.....where's Bonny ???"
"Who cares ?' Said Wom. 'Shrimp, shrimp, I want shrimp, where's my shrimp"
Moped U turn
As they are heading down the road on the Moped, a sleek black limousine passes them. Its tinted windows roll down and Bonny and Brad Pitt wave from the back seat. The limousine turns into Joe's Crab Shack up ahead. Because of traffic, our heroes aren't able to change lanes, so Wom does a Moped U-turn and they join Bonny and Brad Pitt, who are going into the restaurant. The manager greets them. "Hello, how many in your party?"Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
shrimp etouffée
Well, we have everyone from South Park, Angie with all of the kids, our slap happy crew of vagabonds, the limo driver, Jennifer whom you can seat next to Angie (they both probably have a lot to talk about) & money bags Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt will be flipping the bill. You can serve us all up a plate of your special shrimp etouffee with plenty of raw Jalapeno peppers mixed in.Quote:
Originally Posted by cassiesmom
The News Gazette
Just then Bill walks up. "Well it hasn't made the The News Gazette or even the Chelsea Crier but I think I'm still a part of this party even without my celeb status. Had a little problem back there with my still, thankfully when it blew I was in the clapper. I did work up a little appetite trucking it over here on my bike though. Don't care for the shrimp etouffee, dont need crabs, had them, pest little buggers, but I sure could use a nice Margarita and some Snapper throats, greek style, please...... Well, well its been quite a while since I've seen your head above the table Bonny, you too Elyse. You're both looking real chipper, and that was intended to be a compliment considering the brown fog......Quote:
Well, we have everyone from South Park, Angie with all of the kids, our slap happy crew of vagabonds, the limo driver, Jennifer whom you can seat next to Angie (they both probably have a lot to talk about) & money bags Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt will be flipping the bill. You can serve us all up a plate of your special shrimp etouffee with plenty of raw Jalapeno peppers mixed in.
burlap bag
......., but yeah, I know the only way you can get your head above the table Bonny, is to stand on the chair."Quote:
Originally Posted by kokopup
"Oh God' said Bonny 'not you to Bill. You've been listening to Wom too much, he calls me a midget all the time. I can't help it if I'm only 2 feet high."
"Yuppers' said Wom 'Bonny is so small, that you can carry her around in a burlap bag, and you have to keep her quiet to, there's a few circus people around who want her for their "Six Toed Dwarf Freak Show" "
"Hmmmm.....we could make a buck out of this. Do you reckon we could sell her to the circus ?" Said Helen.
"The money would come in handy for the rest of our trip to see Graceland" Said Grandchester.
"Now that's a thought" Said Bill.
"Good idea" Said Elyse.
"Hang on, hang on' said Wom 'Bonny's my mate, we can't sell her to the circus. We could hire her to them tho. And then pick her up on our return trip. We'd need to see how much money we could get in advance from the circus manager tho."
Runaway Elephant
"WHAT!!!:eek: Do you think you are going to leave me alone with the circus." said Bonnie " NO WAY! The manager is going to hire you all on as clowns, animal trainers, & pooh-pooh scoopers.":DQuote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
Wom of course acts like a Runaway Elephant trying to prove an Aussie is better at doing everything and anything. GrandChester, Elyse, & Bill take on the job of training the tigers & use Wom as their human guinea pig in their efforts. It is put your head into the lions mouth time Wom .......
bad bad bad bad breath
........errggggghhhh washappenin" Groaned Bonny as she was shaken awake. "I was having a nightmare, something about a circus or something like that, and there was a lion with bad bad bad bad breath, and he was going to eat Wom."Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonny
"Never mind' said Bill 'you need to get dressed Bonny, we've just hired you out to the circus, so off with the jarmies, and on with the dungers."
Just then a circus car with a caged trailer pulls up.
"Oh please don't put me in that cage" said Bonny.
"Come on folks' said Wom 'we can't do this to our Bonny, she's such a swell kid and we all think she's really......oh look...there's a dollar coin in the trailer !!"
Bonny leaps ahead of everyone, and straight into the trailer cage she goes, to retrieve the dollar coin. Wom shuts the cage door, locks it and swallows the key. "Gotcha, ya little whippersnapper" yelled Wom.
Whippersnappers Revenge
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat2u2004
"Sold to the circus...NOT ON MY WATCH! said GrandChester. You wanna see some Whippersnappers Revenge, BONNY"? asks GrandChester
GrandChester runs over to Wom, grabs him from behind and lays the Heimlich maneuver on him. Out flies the key and it lands....
Sasquatch
in the hands of a Sasquatch. Bonny is forever grateful as the Sasquatch opens the door on the cage. So grateful that she forgives Wom & his greed & doesn't sic the Sasquatch on the naughty Wom. But the Sasquatch has other ideas .....Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandChester
head lock
The Sasquatch tries to apply a head lock on Wom, but Wom ducks and pushes the Sasquatch's arms away. The two of them look one another over as they catch their breaths.Quote:
Out flies the key and it lands in the hands of a Sasquatch. Bonny is forever grateful as the Sasquatch opens the door on the cage. So grateful that she forgives Wom & his greed & doesn't sic the Sasquatch on the naughty Wom. But the Sasquatch has other ideas .....
"Hold it!" shouts Elyse. "Can we all get along? We aren't going to loan Bonny to the circus. That's just not on. We're going to get back on the moped and..."
squirt gun