Wedding Dilemma- What Would You Do?

[Edwina's Secretary]

Are you even sure she wants to stand up for you?

But it seems to me that Josh should take responsibility for the situation - it is his sister. He should ask her what her issue is with you and why she behaves the way she does.

[Desert Arabian]

Are you even sure she wants to stand up for you?

But it seems to me that Josh should take responsibility for the situation - it is his sister. He should ask her what her issue is with you and why she behaves the way she does.

Good point! I am secretly hoping she doesn't really want to, but I would have to imagine for the sake of her brother that she would. Josh avoids confrontation at all costs, so getting him to step up to the plate and sit down with his sister most likely would never happen unless I really got on his butt about it -- but I won't.

[Cataholic]

I am presuming Josh's sister is an adult, squarely over the age of 21, and under no mental disability when I make these comments.

First and foremost- Josh needs to develop some maturity and deal with his sister. If he is willing to let someone that is so close to him treat the woman he is about to marry like she does, there is a problem. It is about respect and boundaries. He is ignoring both of these. Josh is basically saying to his sister, "hey, I am totally cool with you treating my soon to be wife like crap, and making her feel uncomfortable". I can't imagine any of my four brothers allowing me to treat their wives like this woman does to you. I wouldn't be invited anywhere, let alone to be a member of the bridal party. And the thing is? Even if I wanted to, which I wouldn't, I wouldn't treat someone like that not because I might not WANT to, but because of my love and respect for my brother. There is a problem, for sure, between Josh and his sister, for something like this to be going on.

Next, if his sister isn't nice to you, then stop being nice to her. Stop trying. Stop making excuses for her. Family or not- "good" people don't treat others like this. Stop allowing it. She should not be in your wedding, and to think you entertained such an idea is absurd. She is crapping on you. Treating you with NO respect. Please- respect yourself. People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. You may be surprised by standing up for yourself and showing her you respect yourself, she just might start to.

AS far as having a sit down with her, seriously? Cause you think she doesn't know she is crapping on you? Because you think she doesn't know how wrong and immature it is? Why ever would you want to go there? You know it is wrong, and she knows it is wrong.

Heck of a way to start your life together.

[CountryWolf07]

Simple. Don't include her. Don't try to be 'friends' with her', it's obvious the line is drawn and has been already for a long time. If she did try to have a relationship with you, she would've done it in the beginning. Easy as that. It's YOUR big day. Don't stress yourself out!

[kuhio98]

I'm probably in the minority here, but it's Josh's wedding day too. Yeah, I know he probably hasn't dreamed about it like girls do, but it's still an important day for him also.

If he wants her there, she should be there. If she doesn't want to be there, problem solved. If you guys are old enough to get married, you're old enough to work this out. You guys don't have to be best friends but Josh will be a lot happier if you guys get along. You both must have something in common if you both love Josh and he loves both of you.

[carole]

Lisa i am with you 100 per cent on this one, yes it is a day of importance to him as well, and naturally he will want his sister to be there, i have nothing to add really, just what Lisa has already said.

[sasvermont]

I say that Josh needs to handle all the problems with HIS sister. If he thinks she need not be involved with the wedding then he should tell anyone asking, why she is not part of the wedding party. He should also take your feelings into consideration before his sister's. Sounds as though his sister is a pill!

Good luck. Let us know how it works out!

And, congratulations on your wedding coming up. I hope all runs smoothly and you have a wonderful day. Don't let just one person ruin it for you all. Let her sit outside the main event and stew in her own juices. She seems to thrive on it.

Again, have a wonderful day!

[Cataholic]

I'm probably in the minority here, but it's Josh's wedding day too. Yeah, I know he probably hasn't dreamed about it like girls do, but it's still an important day for him also.

If he wants her there, she should be there. If she doesn't want to be there, problem solved. If you guys are old enough to get married, you're old enough to work this out. You guys don't have to be best friends but Josh will be a lot happier if you guys get along. You both must have something in common if you both love Josh and he loves both of you.

I believe it IS both people's day. It should be a wonderous day, full of love. However, to allow anyone to attend a wedding that treats the bride to be so shabbily is really pretty insulting to the bride, isn't it?

The bride to be here isn't the problem. She has gone out of her way to be polite, friendly, and accommodating. It isn't as if they just aren't close to one another. Josh's sister is rude, disrespectful and hurtful to Josh's soon to be wife. "Josh will be a lot happier if you guys get along" suggest there is something the bride to be can do to alter the facts- Josh's sister is not a nice person.

I think it awful that Josh puts his soon to be wife in this position.

[carole]

That is one thing I agree on,josh does need to sort this out,why do you think she treats you this way,if it were me I would have it out with her,and get to the bottom of the problem ,and yes you should not let one person ruin your special day,is there more to the story,are you telling us everything,don't mean to sound rude,but I am puzzled that a person could be so hateful,if it is jealousy,or simply she does not like you,then she needs to get over it and move on,and josh needs to support you on this,it is very immature behavior on her part,hope you can get it sorted,and your day is everything you want it to be