opinions wanted family issue

[Asiel]

You can toss me in with the old fashioned bunch here. If that was my 3 yr old acting that way he would learn real quick that the behavior is unnacceptable. I've had all I can handle of today's ill behaved kids, and the excuses that come along with the behavior which shows me the parents know the kids are brats but choose the easy way out....let the little darlings do as they please.
No way would any of us ever have gotten away with rude behavior such as this and no way would my own kids have gotten away with it either.

[carole]

well i am of the older generation here i guess, and i have to say i totally disagree with some of the comments made, i think your brother n law is WAY OUT OF LINE here, and could in fact have a detrimental affect on that young boy.

He has too high expectations of him ,totally unreal in my opinion, i am all for manners and respect too, i was raised that way and hopefully raised my two that way as well, but honestly i let my children be just that children. That did not mean they were allowed to destroy anything or others people's property or have bad manners, nope i instilled those in them and was always told what lovely mannered kids i had,but i still let them be kids and after all some things are age appropriate.

It is your house and guests in your house need to respect THAT,if you find his behaviour offensive, be it the brother n law or the little boy, you should say so.

My children always had the understanding there were things they were allowed to do in my house , but not necessarily in others, like my mothers home, my mother could never understand that,but it worked for me and my kids soon got to know all the rules.

I may well have not read it right, but i did not see anything that would make me label this kid a BRAT.

Also worth a mention ,yep i was raised with good manners, and do as you are told, but i have to say the self esteem was not there or encouraged, my parents just never had it given to them and they found it hard to pass on, i tried to break the cycle, and i sort of did, but not 100 per cent, to me it is the biggest gift you can ever give your children HIGH SELF ESTEEM.

[caseysmom]

well i am of the older generation here i guess, and i have to say i totally disagree with some of the comments made, i think your brother n law is WAY OUT OF LINE here, and could in fact have a detrimental affect on that young boy.

He has too high expectations of him ,totally unreal in my opinion, i am all for manners and respect too, i was raised that way and hopefully raised my two that way as well, but honestly i let my children be just that children. That did not mean they were allowed to destroy anything or others people's property or have bad manners, nope i instilled those in them and was always told what lovely mannered kids i had,but i still let them be kids and after all some things are age appropriate.

It is your house and guests in your house need to respect THAT,if you find his behaviour offensive, be it the brother n law or the little boy, you should say so.

My children always had the understanding there were things they were allowed to do in my house , but not necessarily in others, like my mothers home, my mother could never understand that,but it worked for me and my kids soon got to know all the rules.

I may well have not read it right, but i did not see anything that would make me label this kid a BRAT.

Also worth a mention ,yep i was raised with good manners, and do as you are told, but i have to say the self esteem was not there or encouraged, my parents just never had it given to them and they found it hard to pass on, i tried to break the cycle, and i sort of did, but not 100 per cent, to me it is the biggest gift you can ever give your children HIGH SELF ESTEEM.

As usual you said it most eloquently Carole...totally how I feel. Luckily I think Ryan is for the most part oblivious to my bil except for the fact that I did see him try to engage my bil sunday and was unsuccessful. The only time I see him being a brat is sometimes to his mom and if I am around I talk to him about being nice to his mom. Sunday he was extremelly well behaved my bil just had to have something to say because he now has it in for my nephew...how mature....he use to be a police officer...may be where the control thing comes from.

[carole]

he certainly sounds like he has control issues, i would ignore him, it is not fair of him to have an instant dislike for the little boy, very immature of him.

I think you know deep in your heart where you allies lie and you will indeed do the right thing, for you and the little boy.

[caseysmom]

he certainly sounds like he has control issues, i would ignore him, it is not fair of him to have an instant dislike for the little boy, very immature of him.

I think you know deep in your heart where you allies lie and you will indeed do the right thing, for you and the little boy.

My husband is saying we should just ignore him, I will do my best not to invite them anymore...problem is I will hold it in then blow up at him...

[carole]

you know on second thoughts ,i think maybe you should approach him and have it out with him, maybe that is what is needed and he will stop, he might not even be aware that you feel or think this way, it may well be that it needs to be pointed out to him, and he might get a reality check and realise what he is actually doing, i am glad the little boy seems to be unware of it,i hope it stays that way, as it certainly is not good for him, he sounds like he is being picked on by your BIL and for no real reason what so ever, good luck.