Screaming dad

[pomtzu]

IMO, kids who are known to act up or be "stinkers" while in a store with adults, should be left at home in the care of another adult or babysitter - or let one of the parents just stay home with them. I had 2 rambunctious boys, but neither ever misbehaved or threw temper tantrums in a store (or any place be it public or private) - not even once. Even if they had tried it - they would have stopped real quick when they got "the look" from myself or their father. Store patrons shouldn't have to listen to screaming, crying, misbehaving kids, or the parents that scream at them either. I never shop on weekends anymore, since the parents are out of work, the kids are out of school, and that's when you find the majority in the stores. Give me a nice quiet Tuesday morning any old day - it's so peaceful then!!!


ETA: I would never confront a parent - woman or man - since you don't know what this person is capable of. Why put yourself in potential harm's way, when you can just bring it to the attention of a store employee, and they can in turn, bring it to the attention of store security. Need proof?? - I think just about everyone has a camera cell phone - just shoot a pic. I'll be darned if 5 foot 100 pound me, wants to deal with an irate amazon parent!

[Bonny]

IMO, kids who are known to act up or be "stinkers" while in a store with adults, should be left at home in the care of another adult or babysitter - or let one of the parents just stay home with them. I had 2 rambunctious boys, but neither ever misbehaved or threw temper tantrums in a store (or any place be it public or private) - not even once. Even if they had tried it - they would have stopped real quick when they got "the look" from myself or their father. Store patrons shouldn't have to listen to screaming, crying, misbehaving kids, or the parents that scream at them either. I never shop on weekends anymore, since the parents are out of work, the kids are out of school, and that's when you find the majority in the stores. Give me a nice quiet Tuesday morning any old day - it's so peaceful then!!!

We are Tuesday morning shoppers. I pick Tuesday also & that is when the shelves are restocked.

At the museum we have screaming kids. I have gotten to the point telling the parents if they are up & walking around & grabbing stuff it is a no no. I warn them ahead a time. I tell them one of you will end up leaving the tour with your child (children). It happened on Friday. The mom was interested the husband ended up taking the 3 & 4 year old out to their van. It happens all the time. Common sense is out there somewhere.

[sana]

Lovely dresses! Really pretty and nice!

My parents and I used to go to a store, sometimes still go, on Sundays, kids under 10, I think aren't allowed. But, there's another store I used to go to, it was quite noisy and you had to be careful while pushing your trolley so little kids don't come under it, it was loaded with kids and I really preferred the store without kids. Much peaceful. There are some stores that have a kids area. Like the store named Metro, the one that doesn't allowed kids under 10, if it is really necessary, there's an eating room, kids go there and eat stuff, I guess there might be toys because I haven't went in there. That's the way stores should be, peaceful that way.

Some parents don't stop their kids at all and some stop them on every single thing they do. On the extremes....

[Medusa]

I went to lunch today w/girlfriends, an upscale place that is for adults. A family brought their small child, I'd say around age 4 but I'm not sure. We weren't even seated yet and we asked to be moved. That kid screamed such a high pitched scream, it's a wonder dogs didn't come running. And she kept it up w/no reprimand from anyone at the table. She wasn't crying, just screaming b/c she wasn't getting her way about something. (I know this b/c I heard Mom (I think it was her mom) say "I said 'no'".) She stood up on the chair and let 'er rip. Management moved us and never did say anything to the adults at that table. That's not what I call a reprimand from Mom and it certainly isn't teaching the child anything except if you scream loud enough and long enough, you'll get your way.

I'm not anti-kid. I used to be one. And if I had behaved like that in public or anywhere, it would've been the last time my parents would've taken me to a restaurant and the same goes for my son. I would never tolerate such behavior. However, there's a way to discipline kids, especially ones that aren't being bad but just being rambunctious kids and grabbing them by the face is not the way. I've bitten my tongue more often than not when kids act up in public but if I should see one being manhandled like that, I'll have to speak up. I'm not one for meddling in the business of others, especially when it comes to child rearing. I'm also not one to stand by and watch a child, animal or elderly person be abused, neglected or humiliated. It makes my heart sore to see such things and I could never live w/myself if I didn't speak up.

[cassiesmom]

I saw a family with 4 kids. Mom, Dad and three boys. One boy was just being a stinker he was about seven, the dad grabbed him by the face and dragged him away.

I don't think it is okay for an adult to drag a 7 year old by the face under any circumstances. Except, maybe, his clothes are on fire.

And Wom, I impose my expectations on others every time I go out in public, and others place expectations on me. One of those is appropriate behavior. Subjecting one's child to such "discipline" in a public place far exceeds the boundaries of appropriate behavior for me. Even if you're having a bad day, as Moosmom said, that's still no excuse for the father to act the way he did. I might have said something like hey, take it easy to the father but I'm with Marigold-- I'm not able to stand by silently and witness something like this.

[Medusa]

And Wom, I impose my expectations on others every time I go out in public, and others place expectations on me. One of those is appropriate behavior.

Excellent point!

[wombat2u2004]

I don't think it is okay for an adult to drag a 7 year old by the face under any circumstances. Except, maybe, his clothes are on fire.

And Wom, I impose my expectations on others every time I go out in public, and others place expectations on me. One of those is appropriate behavior. Subjecting one's child to such "discipline" in a public place far exceeds the boundaries of appropriate behavior for me. Even if you're having a bad day, as Moosmom said, that's still no excuse for the father to act the way he did. I might have said something like hey, take it easy to the father but I'm with Marigold-- I'm not able to stand by silently and witness something like this.

No, by doing this you are trying to influence others to your standards. I'm with LH on this. You have no idea what the reasons were for that fathers reactions.
For a start, it is illegal to do what you condone. It is not illegal for someone to chastise their child.
You are viewing this as some sort of child abuse, whereas it may have simply been a discipline lesson. And it may have been the only way the father knows how to discipline his own child.

[Medusa]

it may have been the only way the father knows how to discipline his own child.

If that's the case, then he needs to take some serious classes in parenting, Wom. Discipline is acceptable and encouraged, whether in public or private. Grabbing a kid by the face? Come on now.

[wombat2u2004]

If that's the case, then he needs to take some serious classes in parenting, Wom. Discipline is acceptable and encouraged, whether in public or private. Grabbing a kid by the face? Come on now.

And what would he learn from his "Serious classes in parenting" ??
Someone elses interpretation of the right way to parent ???
Generalisations that are shoved down our throats daily by educated idiots who change their minds weekly on how to parent or anything else that suits their view on how others should live their lives ???
Hey, it's his business how he disciplines his own child, not anyone elses.

[Medusa]

And what would he learn from his "Serious classes in parenting" ??
Someone elses interpretation of the right way to parent ???
Generalisations that are shoved down our throats daily by educated idiots who change their minds weekly on how to parent or anything else that suits their view on how others should live their lives ???
Hey, it's his business how he disciplines his own child, not anyone elses.

I agree w/you to a point about it being his business on how he disciplines his kids. Disciplines. Not abuses. As for the parenting class, he may learn some self control himself. He can't very well teach his kid self control if he himself loses it. I think we've probably all lost control at some time but not to that degree. Ask yourself how you'd feel if someone, especially someone much bigger than you, grabbed your face and dragged you off. In public. I'd be humiliated and probably scared to death.

[Cataholic]

I would have said something, too. Abuse is abuse is abuse. No matter what excuse the adult might have had (a bad day, really?????), abuse is abuse is abuse. It should never be tolerated.

[wombat2u2004]

I agree w/you to a point about it being his business on how he disciplines his kids. Disciplines. Not abuses.

But your interpretation of abuse may not be the same as his.
After all, he is the childs father, and probably the kid was a real work of art. It's not as if the father picked the child up and started bashing him on the wall or something like that.
Being a bit heavy handed with some kids is sometimes the only answer.

[Medusa]

One of the most difficult lessons I've had to learn in life as an adult is to act and not react. The father reacted to his child's bad behavior rather than acting as an adult and calmly but firmly removing him from the scene until he calmed down. I do understand what you mean, though, Wom, about our interpretation of abuse. I got spanked as a child. Today that's considered abuse, though I don't see it that way. I do hope, however, that grabbing your kid's face is never acceptable "discipline".

[wombat2u2004]

One of the most difficult lessons I've had to learn in life as an adult is to act and not react. The father reacted to his child's bad behavior rather than acting as an adult and calmly but firmly removing him from the scene until he calmed down. I do understand what you mean, though, Wom, about our interpretation of abuse. I got spanked as a child. Today that's considered abuse, though I don't see it that way. I do hope, however, that grabbing your kid's face is never acceptable "discipline".

I used to get spanked to, and my father used to say to me how lucky I was, because he used to cop it with a horse switch. My father was raised right in his opinion, and I was raised right in my opinion. I can look back now and say "Yeah, I was a real little creep and deserved what I got."
So, really what is abuse ??? Was my father abused ?? Was I abused ??? Were you abused with your spankings ??? They answer in my opinion is no. But in others opinions it may be yes.
So what is really happening in this day and age ??? We obviously have become softer in our approach to disciplinary punishment, and we have replaced that with counselling and parenting classes ??? Do you believe that the children now become better adults because of this ??? I don't believe so.
Children need to be disciplined and taught the right direction in life.
The old saying "Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind" is what works.

[moosmom]

Pomtzu,

Take a picture with your phone of the abuse is a great idea!!!! Then show the dumb@$$ parents the picture and tell them if the abuse doesn't stop, it's going straight to the authorities. I like that!!!!!