Screaming dad

[Marigold2]

Yesterday I was in Kohl's buying Easter dresses for Ella and I saw a family with 4 kids. Mom, Dad and three boys. One boy was just being a stinker he was about seven, the dad grabbed him by the face and dragged him away. When they returned I said to him IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN I WILL CALL THE AUTHORITIES. He got right into my face and said YOU ARE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. I just repeated what I said again. His wife said, What did you do? She looked disgusted and scared. The oldest boys looked shocked and frozen. I told the people at Kohl's and they were watching out for him. Hopefully the camara caught Mr. I am going to abuse my kids while shopping.
I felt so bad for those kids. I should have done more but the guy was really in my face and I thought for a second he was going to hit me. Geez what is it with people?
Anyway I found two beautiful dresses one pink and one purple plus socks for my little Ella who only wants to wear dresses now and be a princess.
Little fashion princess. Her GG is only to happy to dress her.

[Freedom]

Good for you standing up for those boys!

"The oldest boys looked shocked and frozen. " He was learning something, that is why he was in such a state. GOOD FOR YOU!!!

Will we get to see photos of Ella in her dresses? They sound gorgeous! She will be all set for the Easter Parade!

[happylabs]

This guy was most likely at his wits end. What he should have done was just walk away on his own and regroup. It isn't easy shopping with 3 kids. I had 2, but that is no excuse to abuse your child in any way, shape or form. The guy obviously has no parenting skills.

Hopefully, your confronting him will make him think twice about acting that way again.

[moosmom]

I would've done the exact same thing. As much as the kid was a stinker, I feel bad for I'm SURE what was coming to him when he got home. I'm glad you stood up, Marigold!

[Lady's Human]

I'm fairly sure that if I had someone interfere with me with my children you'd get the same result. I don't take kindly to outside interference.

[Karen]

But as bad as a certain nephew can be, I don't think I've ever seen you drag him anywhere by the face!

[cassiesmom]

I saw a family with 4 kids. Mom, Dad and three boys. One boy was just being a stinker he was about seven, the dad grabbed him by the face and dragged him away.

I don't think it is okay for an adult to drag a 7 year old by the face under any circumstances. Except, maybe, his clothes are on fire.

And Wom, I impose my expectations on others every time I go out in public, and others place expectations on me. One of those is appropriate behavior. Subjecting one's child to such "discipline" in a public place far exceeds the boundaries of appropriate behavior for me. Even if you're having a bad day, as Moosmom said, that's still no excuse for the father to act the way he did. I might have said something like hey, take it easy to the father but I'm with Marigold-- I'm not able to stand by silently and witness something like this.

[Medusa]

And Wom, I impose my expectations on others every time I go out in public, and others place expectations on me. One of those is appropriate behavior.

Excellent point!

[wombat2u2004]

I don't think it is okay for an adult to drag a 7 year old by the face under any circumstances. Except, maybe, his clothes are on fire.

And Wom, I impose my expectations on others every time I go out in public, and others place expectations on me. One of those is appropriate behavior. Subjecting one's child to such "discipline" in a public place far exceeds the boundaries of appropriate behavior for me. Even if you're having a bad day, as Moosmom said, that's still no excuse for the father to act the way he did. I might have said something like hey, take it easy to the father but I'm with Marigold-- I'm not able to stand by silently and witness something like this.

No, by doing this you are trying to influence others to your standards. I'm with LH on this. You have no idea what the reasons were for that fathers reactions.
For a start, it is illegal to do what you condone. It is not illegal for someone to chastise their child.
You are viewing this as some sort of child abuse, whereas it may have simply been a discipline lesson. And it may have been the only way the father knows how to discipline his own child.

[Medusa]

it may have been the only way the father knows how to discipline his own child.

If that's the case, then he needs to take some serious classes in parenting, Wom. Discipline is acceptable and encouraged, whether in public or private. Grabbing a kid by the face? Come on now.

[wombat2u2004]

If that's the case, then he needs to take some serious classes in parenting, Wom. Discipline is acceptable and encouraged, whether in public or private. Grabbing a kid by the face? Come on now.

And what would he learn from his "Serious classes in parenting" ??
Someone elses interpretation of the right way to parent ???
Generalisations that are shoved down our throats daily by educated idiots who change their minds weekly on how to parent or anything else that suits their view on how others should live their lives ???
Hey, it's his business how he disciplines his own child, not anyone elses.

[Medusa]

And what would he learn from his "Serious classes in parenting" ??
Someone elses interpretation of the right way to parent ???
Generalisations that are shoved down our throats daily by educated idiots who change their minds weekly on how to parent or anything else that suits their view on how others should live their lives ???
Hey, it's his business how he disciplines his own child, not anyone elses.

I agree w/you to a point about it being his business on how he disciplines his kids. Disciplines. Not abuses. As for the parenting class, he may learn some self control himself. He can't very well teach his kid self control if he himself loses it. I think we've probably all lost control at some time but not to that degree. Ask yourself how you'd feel if someone, especially someone much bigger than you, grabbed your face and dragged you off. In public. I'd be humiliated and probably scared to death.

[cassiesmom]

And it may have been the only way the father knows how to discipline his own child.

That's a really good point.

I was at the supermarket on Saturday and I heard a mom tell her child -- who was maybe 4(??)- "Thank you for not using your outside voice while we were in the store." I thought that was kind of a funny thing to say to a child, hard for him to understand, but maybe not. The store was super busy and very crowded. I like what Ikea in Schaumburg does-- they have a monitored play area within the store for kids. I wish the supermarket did.

[Cataholic]

That's a really good point.

So, if slapping my child across his face is the only thing I know to do when he sasses me, is that correct? What about if locking him in his closet was what MY parent did to me, should I do that to him? No. I should get professional help if the only way I know to treat my child is to abuse my child. It is up to YOU (the general you, not you you) to do better, to read, to learn, to talk, to listen. In fact, perhaps Marigold's comments to this man will be enough for him to re-think his ways. Not at the moment, but later, when he cools off.

I was at the supermarket on Saturday and I heard a mom tell her child -- who was maybe 4(??)- "Thank you for not using your outside voice while we were in the store." I thought that was kind of a funny thing to say to a child, hard for him to understand, but maybe not.

Actually, according to child rearing experts (of which I am not) this IS the right way to raise your child- with positive reinforcement for the RIGHT choices. Like dog training- reward the wanted behaviour, and ignore the unwanted behavior.

[cassiesmom]

So, if slapping my child across his face is the only thing I know to do when he sasses me, is that correct? What about if locking him in his closet was what MY parent did to me, should I do that to him? No. I should get professional help if the only way I know to treat my child is to abuse my child. It is up to YOU (the general you, not you you) to do better, to read, to learn, to talk, to listen. In fact, perhaps Marigold's comments to this man will be enough for him to re-think his ways. Not at the moment, but later, when he cools off.

That's what I was thinking. If I don't know what else to do, then I need to find a way to learn.

Actually, according to child rearing experts (of which I am not) this IS the right way to raise your child- with positive reinforcement for the RIGHT choices. Like dog training- reward the wanted behaviour, and ignore the unwanted behavior.

It just sounded confusing to me when she said it. But I was looking at my grocery list, trying to figure out what I still needed and where to find it, the store was crowded, and I heard her.