Need some advice please

[cassiesmom]

At 66 she is still blaming her parents for a rotten childhood, he brothers for being evil and out to get her for money. She never married or had kids.
I just don't think I can do this folks. I can't listen to this same old complaints I heard 21 years ago. ... I just don't think I can take the vile, the poor me, the everyone out to get me, the no one cares about me, I am so alone speech again and again and again. ...
She did do a lot for me in the past but decided to break the friendship six years ago and I never knew why, so I asked and she said "I don't remember". ... I just don't think I can handle all this hate and negitive and trying to always be positive and up and be there for her, she is almost a full time job once she attaches herself to you.
No one should be alone but ,,,,,,,,,,,,, guys I just don't know what to do.

My two cents: Don't go there. Life is too short to be bogged down by someone who you know is going to be a huge strain on you. If she doesn't even remember why she ended your friendship six years ago, I don't think it's worth it you stepping in and trying to help her now. You can't let someone who is full of hatred and negativity sap all your energy.

((((((Marigold2))))),
elyse

[Cataholic]

Marigold- you do seem to struggle with other's appearances. Maybe it comes from working in a plastic surgeon's office? Maybe you think people really ARE what they look like. Dunno.

I think you need to read up a bit on food addiction, compulsive eating disorders, etc. It isn't really as simple as you seem to find it. It really isn't a matter of choosing between looking good/being healthy vs. putting McDonalds or the like into someone's mouth.

Food addiction/compulsive eating has long been recognized as a disease/disorder, not just a "choice".

No, I do not struggle with either, thank goodness. I am not making excuses for myself or anyone else. BUT, I do have a limited understanding of the area, and it isn't as simple or black/white as you make it seem. If it were? 99% of the people that struggled with weight loss wouldn't be struggling with it.

[Marigold2]

Did you read post 11? This has nothing to do with vanity or looks, this has to do with being so incredibly heavy this person could not get up by herself, she got stuck in chairs, broke chairs, could not walk but for a few minutes. The stress on her knees, heart and other vital organs is so great. If she fell down outside and no one was around she could/ would die from the elements.
What I meant by looking at one's self is once you get so heavy that the simpliest things in life become almost impossible will you have the strenght to admit you have a food addiction or do you just go on and eat yourself to death. The same can be said for a drug addict at what point do you look at yourself and say "I am dying and I need help"
This person has major issues and food is just a coverup to hide from the real truth, the question is when is the comfort of the drug (be it food, drugs, drink) no longer a comfort, when do you see the light at what weight do you stop? 700lbs 1000lb when they lift you out by crain is that when you say I have to change?

Marigold- you do seem to struggle with other's appearances. Maybe it comes from working in a plastic surgeon's office? Maybe you think people really ARE what they look like. Dunno.

I think you need to read up a bit on food addiction, compulsive eating disorders, etc. It isn't really as simple as you seem to find it. It really isn't a matter of choosing between looking good/being healthy vs. putting McDonalds or the like into someone's mouth.

Food addiction/compulsive eating has long been recognized as a disease/disorder, not just a "choice".

No, I do not struggle with either, thank goodness. I am not making excuses for myself or anyone else. BUT, I do have a limited understanding of the area, and it isn't as simple or black/white as you make it seem. If it were? 99% of the people that struggled with weight loss wouldn't be struggling with it.

[pomtzu]

I'm confused by the title of this thread - should have read "need some opinions please" - the way I see it anyway.

I really don't see that you were asking for advice, as it appears from your posts and your own answers to the issues, that you already had your mind made up before you posted the first word.

Everything you've said about her is negative - not a kind word at all. What was your friendship based on, because I didn't see anything positive that should have kept you in that "friendship" for as long as it lasted.

[Cataholic]

Marigold- you post all the time about vanity, it is difficult for me to read your OP without keeping in mind how you feel about looks. Sure, I read post number 11, it was, what, the 4th post you made on the topic? The others seemed a bit focused on her looks. Something I know you pride yourself on maintaining.

You sure have a weird assortment of "friends", they bring a lot of drama to the table, and you get right smack dab in the middle of it.

Life is too short (remember your veggie salad advice???), move on.