Happy Birthday to me :( (Dec. 3rd)

[luckies4me]

So... I turned 30 two days ago. Due to my Lupus I almost never go out anymore, but made an exception to go out for my BIG 30. Big mistake. My friend dropped me off downtown alone, which I thought would be fine because all of my friends were supposed to meet me at 80's night. I got all dressed up for nothing. BTW, the friend who dropped me off has kidney failure and didn't feel well, and I knew she would have been there if that weren't the case. Anyway, I waited around forever, literally, and no one showed up. I didn't have a way home as I was dropped off there, and since no one showed up I was stranded at the stupid bar. I couldn't even get in to 80's night because I brought no money, as I was told not to worry about it. To make matters worse it was the civil war game so all the younger drunk college kids were out. Not fun. All I wanted to do was hang out with my friends for my birthday.

Even my best friend ditched out on me to hang out with some "rich guy". I wish my friends would just grow up already! So I wound up standing outside alone for 2 and a half hours in 24 degree weather freezing my butt off until 3:30 am, waiting for my friend to close down the bar so I could get a ride home. It was a horrible horrible night! I went home and spent the rest of the morning crying.

I didn't get a call from my father or my older brother either. I just feel forgotten. I came here hoping to find a birthday thread for me, but nothing here either. I just feel so stupid and blah. I always try as best I could to make people feel special. I wish someone I knew would do the same for me.

Anyway, I did receive some lovely flowers from my mother though, in a beautiful vase! So I guess the day wasn't all bad. I was just expecting a little something more.

My boss (being the nice man that he is) bought me a very nice cake from Sweet Life here in Eugene. Look them up online. They're amazing! So, I thought I would share some cake photos with you all. I'm trying to upload them here but it's not working so I'll just link it from my scrapbook.com account. If you click on the layout titles it will bring you to a bigger picture so you can look at the cake better, and there's some info on the layouts too if anyone wanted info about them.


Cake
By Luckies4me


Thirty
By Luckies4me

[Marigold2]

OMG!! You poor thing. I am so sorry.....................
You need some new friends me thinks.
HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY.
Go out to your favorite store and buy yourself something shiny. Doesn't have to cost much. But it should make you happy and every time you look at it, (be it a ring, braclet, neckace) know that you are loved, special and worth more then you will ever know.
AGAIN HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[pomtzu]

OMG - I feel so darn bad for you after reading this, and I wondered why nobody on PT did a thread to honor your birthday. Well nobody knew it was your birthday, since you don't list your d.o.b. in your profile! Please go in now and do that, so we don't overlook it next year.

I'm sorry your friends deserted you - "friends" don't do that. So this "friend" from across the country would like to take this opportunity to wish you:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!

[luckies4me]

Ya, I'm not so sure we're going to remain best friends after this. She called me yesterday morning and I ignored her call. I don't want to speak with her. Anyway, I wish I could buy something nice for myself but money is tight right now what with Christmas right around the corner. Plus, I'm trying to pay off my debt, which was around $35,000! I only have THREE bills left to pay off and then I'll be debt free! This is a huge accomplishment for me. I was going to file for bankruptcy but now I don't have to. It's a nice feeling. The sucky thing is, it's all medical bills too. =/

I did spoil myself the other day by walking over to Scrap Happy. They're going out of business so everything is 20% off right now. I picked up a ton of cute scrapbooking supplies for super cheap!

And thank you!

[luckies4me]

I've never had a problem with it showing up on the birthday list before, so I don't think that's the problem. I do have my age information in Pet Talk, so I don't know.

Thank you though!!! I appreciate it. I think I just need to meet some new people. It's hard though, as I just don't have the energy anymore to go out to meet people, and really know no other way. Hopefully next year will be better.

[luckies4me]

Ya, it's not that. I just went to the calendar section and clicked on Dec. 3rd and it was displayed. Oh well. It really isn't that big of a deal lol.

[pomtzu]

Ya, it's not that. I just went to the calendar section and clicked on Dec. 3rd and it was displayed. Oh well. It really isn't that big of a deal lol.

Now that is totally weird. When I checked Dec 3rd b'days, you weren't listed, and your profile only said 30 with no d.o.b. I know I'm not losing my mind!!! Anyway - it's showing now. Maybe Karen could explain????

[Karen]

Have you looked into groups with others who have Lupus, you might find some people there who understand better what you are going through. Try the local hospital, they might know of such things. Sorry you didn't get a birthday thread that day here - I have a friend who, leading up to December 3rd 20-something years ago plastered our campus with "December 3rd is coming " and "December 3rd - THE day!" and no one knew what it was about, until the actual day - he then came early and plastered the whole entrance of the building with "It's my birthday!" He is now married, father of three girls, and we've sort of lost touch, but I bet a lot of other people remember his birthday, too!

[luckies4me]

Now that is totally weird. When I checked Dec 3rd b'days, you weren't listed, and your profile only said 30 with no d.o.b. I know I'm not losing my mind!!! Anyway - it's showing now. Maybe Karen could explain????

My dob was entered, but you can choose whether or not you display it publicly...the year. I still had it displayed, so it should have showed up. It's always been the same and has always shown up in the past. I have now edited it to list the actual day publicly (sp?) now. Maybe things have changed since the forum got updated?

[joycenalex]

i am sooo sorry your "friends" shafted you....happy belated b-day, here's to a better year and better friends.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a lousy b-day. I thought that it was Dec.3rd because mine is Dec.4th. I also looked and your name wasn't on the Dec.3rd list the other day. I thought that maybe if people don't post very much that their names get taken off the list or something like that.

I know how you feel about being forgotten on your b-day. I also feel this way most years. I'm on FB and I have many people on my friends list that I don't really know too well because they're gamers. It's pretty sad when many of them wish you a happy b-day and then the people that I know better don't even acknowledge it.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY CASS!!! I hope that things will get better in your life.

[carole]

Oh Cass sweetheart come here and get a big giant Hug,I know you can't but it will have to be a cyber one,I feel so bad for you reading your post, one i did not even know you had been diagnosed with Lupus, i know a little about it as the support group for my fibromyalgia i used to attend also included people with Lupus, i think finding a good support group may well be beneficial to you.


I can only imagine how horrific this was for you, a time that should have been so special,honestly if you were my daughter i would make sure it was a very special day for you, I am just so sorry it was so awful,just know we all love you to bits .

Be so proud of yourself for paying your debts, you really have done so well ,and to heck with those so called friends,you are better off without them.

Anyway Darlin you take care now and


with lots of love and Hugs to a very special member of PT.

[chocolatepuppy]

Happy Birthday!
Sometimes 'planned' outings don't turn out as good as those that just 'happen'. I'm sorry you had a lousy birthday.

[luckies4me]

Thank you everyone. You all are very sweet. As far as my Lupus, I got diagnosed about a year ago. I hate it!!! I feel like I've lost my life. The only good thing about it is that I get a lot of scrapbooking done now. I actually have a hobby now that I can't be as active as I used to. And let me tell you, it makes you feel so old. Sometimes I can hardly get out of bed. Dylan is very understanding about it. I am blessed to have a child so understanding. Kai on the other hand is far too young to realize that mommy doesn't feel good, and still begs for the attention. On top of that, I also have restless leg syndrome. My muscles seriously convulse every day. It's annoying and painful, and feels very strange at times, but it is also fascinating. I made a friend watch my legs "dance" the other day at work.

You find a way to deal though and make fun of it. When I first got diagnosed I would joke at work that I couldn't answer the phone. "Oh the phone's ringing. I can't answer it. I have Lupus." LOL. It was funny. Once, while trying to explain my muscle spasms, I referred to my leg condition as "wandering leg syndrome". LOL. My friend started laughing hysterically, and told me to hurry up and catch it before it runs off.

My work has not been very understanding though. They still work me very hard, even though some days I feel like I can barely move. Right now I'm on prednisone...horrible! I've always had a weak bladder, and now that I'm on these meds I have to pee every 30 minutes! When I'm at work I'm the first one who opens, and I don't have someone come in to relieve me until 11. I start at 7 am! So I have to wait 4 hours before I have a chance to go to the bathroom. It's very annoying.

About 3 months ago I started getting really bad eye aches. Come to find out prednisone causes pressure build up in your eyes and can lead to cataracts. None of this was said to me before they started me on the medication. I found this out from my friend Julie, the one with kidney failure, as she's on it as well.

I feel like a walking medical book. I can't count how many medications I take daily. It's a lot. I am on Levsin and Protonix for my stomach, pred, tylenol with codein/tramadol for my pain...I rotate these two with regular Ibuprofen 500's, Cipro every now and then to fight off whatever stupid infection I come down with, Vitamin D as I am also vitamin D defficient (as are most everyone who lives here), Ativan for my anxiety (and let me tell you, nothing can make you stressed more than not being able to leave the house!), and they started me on Trazadone (which is a low dose anti depressant) to help me sleep at night. That stuff knocks you on your butt!!!

Also, I really believe that if I hadn't moved to Oregon I'd still be healthy. This city is infected with disease. I was fine before moving here. Granted, I had my endo before moving here, but so much has been added on to my bad health list. Get this...my friend is 24 I believe, she has 3 different types of cancer. Melanoma, Leukemia (the same kind that my ex had-go figure!), and some other type that I haven't asked about. She works at the hospital too. For some reason she still hasn't gotten the flu yet. Weird. Anyway, Phil my ex who is also in his early twenties has Leukemia. Julie has kidney failure due to an auto immune disorder, Jacob had Hotchkins Lymphoma (he is Phil's best friend), and Matt (my future husband...we got back together btw) has very very bad psoriasis. My son Dylan, who just turned 8 a few days ago, is autistic and is now suffering from early puberty. He's been to a few specialists and we are waiting to hear back to let us know if he needs to be started on hormone injections! Dylan also suffers from a rare eye condition. He is almost blind in one eye. If caught early enough the problem can be corrected with glasses, but if not he'll have to have surgery.

My friend Felecia whom I work with has a son that developed severe pneumonia while he had the H1N1 virus. He was taken to Dornbeckers for a week. It has been more than a month and he still has an abscess in his lung. He is seeing a specialist to determine whether or not he'll need surgery. He has a permanent iv line so his mom can give him antibiotics at home. They're doing a bunch of tests on him to find out what's wrong, as he is always getting infections off and on with very high temperatures. He is 5 I think.

[luckies4me]

Here is Dylan at the eye doctor, lol.