Courtesy, manners and tradition

**carole** · 01-20-2009, 07:06 PM

Now keeping in mind i have not read all the posts here, but just wanted to make a comment, i was raised with manners being very important, and i tried to pass that on to my own children, i succeeded somewhat,as my grandfather used to say, they are not too heavy to carry around lol.

Some of the old ways were indeed good, but i am also glad some of them have disappeared today, and we live in my mind ,in a much easier going society.

Pleases,thank you's, opening doors, or respecting your elders, are ones that i still do and wanted my children to do.

I think the one thing that bothers me the most today, is the bad language, that is spoken in public everywhere, not one time do i go shopping in town, do i not hear the F word spoken by young woman and men, and sometimes older ones too, it is a shame that society accepts it as the normal and i am not one who never swears, but i just wish when out i did not have to hear it spoken over and over again, like it is everyday acceptable language.

One thing i find funny is my father thinks it is bad manners to wear a hat or cap inside,now my son and daughter both do this, and i have no problem with it what so ever, he thinks it is bad manners, which i find silly, but i guess that was how it was in his day.

i tell him he has to move with the times.

**Twisterdog** · 01-20-2009, 08:22 PM

Originally Posted by carole

I think the one thing that bothers me the most today, is the bad language, that is spoken in public everywhere, not one time do i go shopping in town, do i not hear the F word spoken by young woman and men, and sometimes older ones too, it is a shame that society accepts it as the normal and i am not one who never swears, but i just wish when out i did not have to hear it spoken over and over again, like it is everyday acceptable language.

I totally agree with this! Not that I never swear, not that I never use the F word ... not proud of it, but hey, I do sometimes. However, when you stand in line at a grocery store for five minutes and hear the F-bomb at least 100 times, that's absurd. I know people who literally cannot complete one sentence without using some variation of that word multiple times.

My son swears like a sailor around his friends, I'm sure. But he never swears around me, or his grandma. As it should be.

I have no problem saying to people in public, "Excuse me. That is very inappropriate language to use in a store. It offends me. Please don't swear like that in public." I have done it too many times to count. And the response is always the same ... they blink, look shocked, look terribly embarrassed, and say, "I'm so sorry, Ma'am." And instantly stop swearing. Try it.

**Medusa** · 01-20-2009, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by carole

Now keeping in mind i have not read all the posts here, but just wanted to make a comment, i was raised with manners being very important, and i tried to pass that on to my own children, i succeeded somewhat,as my grandfather used to say, they are not too heavy to carry around lol.

Some of the old ways were indeed good, but i am also glad some of them have disappeared today, and we live in my mind ,in a much easier going society.

Pleases,thank you's, opening doors, or respecting your elders, are ones that i still do and wanted my children to do.

I think the one thing that bothers me the most today, is the bad language, that is spoken in public everywhere, not one time do i go shopping in town, do i not hear the F word spoken by young woman and men, and sometimes older ones too, it is a shame that society accepts it as the normal and i am not one who never swears, but i just wish when out i did not have to hear it spoken over and over again, like it is everyday acceptable language.

One thing i find funny is my father thinks it is bad manners to wear a hat or cap inside,now my son and daughter both do this, and i have no problem with it what so ever, he thinks it is bad manners, which i find silly, but i guess that was how it was in his day.

i tell him he has to move with the times.

I was raised w/that instilled in me as well; no hats on men indoors. Now baseball caps are a fashion statement, a tacky one at best, IMO, but I'm not offended by any means if I see someone wearing one.

**pomtzu** · 01-21-2009, 06:43 AM

Originally Posted by Medusa

I was raised w/that instilled in me as well; no hats on men indoors. Now baseball caps are a fashion statement, a tacky one at best, IMO, but I'm not offended by any means if I see someone wearing one.

Yes, but when you come to the dining room table to eat - it's hats off and shirts on!

**Medusa** · 01-21-2009, 07:18 AM

Originally Posted by pomtzu

Yes, but when you come to the dining room table to eat - it's hats off and shirts on!

Oh heavens, yes!

**Catlady711** · 01-20-2009, 11:29 PM

Originally Posted by carole

One thing i find funny is my father thinks it is bad manners to wear a hat or cap inside,now my son and daughter both do this, and i have no problem with it what so ever, he thinks it is bad manners, which i find silly, but i guess that was how it was in his day.

i tell him he has to move with the times.

Every time there's a lax of previous manners/courtesy, no matter how ridiculous such a little thing may be, it's just opens the door for more of the same on down the line.

Yes you're telling him to 'move with the times' but at the same time the next generation is telling you the same thing about opening doors, please and thank you, swearing, etc. It never ends, and never will so long as rebellion is considered normal and acceptable in our society.

**Twisterdog** · 01-21-2009, 12:14 AM

Originally Posted by Catlady711

Every time there's a lax of previous manners/courtesy, no matter how ridiculous such a little thing may be, it's just opens the door for more of the same on down the line.

Yes you're telling him to 'move with the times' but at the same time the next generation is telling you the same thing about opening doors, please and thank you, swearing, etc. It never ends, and never will so long as rebellion is considered normal and acceptable in our society.

At one time, a lady showing her ankles in public was not only considered rude, it was illegal. At one time, people of different races would not have dreamed of speaking to each other on the street. At one time, people bathed only once a week, or once a month, or once a year. Obviously, someone started a rebellion against these things. Thank goodness, IMO.

What is actually normal and acceptable in our society, any society, is change. Manners, customs, norms, laws all change over time. A society that refuses to change ... vanishes.

**Catlady711** · 01-21-2009, 12:29 AM

Originally Posted by Twisterdog

At one time, a lady showing her ankles in public was not only considered rude, it was illegal. At one time, people of different races would not have dreamed of speaking to each other on the street. At one time, people bathed only once a week, or once a month, or once a year. Obviously, someone started a rebellion against these things. Thank goodness, IMO.

What is actually normal and acceptable in our society, any society, is change. Manners, customs, norms, laws all change over time. A society that refuses to change ... vanishes.

One word.....

Amish

**carole** · 01-21-2009, 02:28 AM

catlady you do raise a very good point, and twisterdog, you are indeed brave to say that to people who offend you with bad language, it is actually against the law to swear as such in public i believe, but of course it is never enforced, or maybe i am wrong here, but i always thought it was at least down under.

I tried it once myself i was in burger king with my then young daughter, melissa was about six at the time, these young kids a bit older than her perhaps eight or ten were using the F word, i said something, all i got was more abuse and felt really intimidated, yes even by these children, i have since learn't to just try and close my ears to it all,except it is so hard when you here it everywhere, i am much the same as you twisterdog, i am no saint, but i do watch my P's and Q's in public and in front of children.

**pomtzu** · 01-21-2009, 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by Catlady711

One word.....

Amish

If you're saying that the Amish don't change - that's not completely true. No - they haven't changed too much - nothing like the rest of society - but changes are there.

Some - not all of them, now have electricity in their homes, they use power tools, they RIDE in cars (but don't own them or drive them), use cell phones - and yes - they even shop at Walmart!!!

Small changes and a long time coming, but none-the-less, even they are changing to survive in this ever-changing world.

**Twisterdog** · 01-21-2009, 10:15 PM

Originally Posted by Catlady711

One word.....

Amish

My point exactly. They are a very small "society". And they exist, quite honestly, because of the grace of the modern American people. Traditionally, all throughout history, the more progressive soceities have swallowed the change-resistant ones. Native American, Mayan, untold African tribes ... the list is very long. Is it right? No. Is it human nature? Obviously.

Oh, and the Amish change - don't think for one minute that they are not reaping the benefits of this modern society. Did the Amish of a hundred years ago get a ride to Walmart in their neighbors car? Did they use the pay phone? Did they buy yards of fabric for their clothes? Did they make a small fortune selling puppies to pet stores? Did they market their furniture and hand crafts on the internet? Sounds like change to me ...

**smokey the elder** · 01-23-2009, 12:34 PM

I hate to pop everyone's utopian view of the Amish; they are suspected of running puppy mills.

Having said that, they as a whole seem like good folks, wanting to be left alone. I remember how uncomfortable they were with all the publicity surrounding that massacre in the school house.