Calling all moms! Did/do you co-sleep?

[pomtzu]

The fact is, I have not raised a clingy needy child. She is a very well-rounded child, goes happily to other people and I can leave her with babysitters and she doesn't even cry. I personally think that when you leave a child to cry themselves to sleep in the dark, your child is much more likely to suffer from anxiety and separation difficulities. but when you make them feel secure, they are secure all the way around.

I don't believe that you should leave a child to cry themselves to sleep in the dark either, but if they have slept in their own bed/crib from the start, then this is rarely an event that would be normal. Of course there are always exceptions, and even children that have always slept by themselves will have an occasional issue with going to their own bed. Perhaps they are sick, just not ready for sleep, etc, etc., - then make an occasional exception.
And you are very fortunate that your baby doesn't have the problem of not wanting to be away from you, so this must be working well for you. I just know that the majority of younger mothers that I know who do or have co-slept, haven't had the success with it that you have had. Good job! Seriously!

[carole]

I never let my babies sleep in the bed with me as babies, always in the bassinet beside our bed,but as they were toddlers no problem,honestly we expect our little ones to sleep alone, but we don't do we lol.

I think you have to go with what you feel is right, and people will tell you all sorts,most of which i found to be untrue, as i said before i had no problem with the transition from parents bed to her own bed, i think it really depends on the child, they are all different, it was certainly frowned upon in my day as a young one, but times have changed and in my opinion for the better.

[sparks19]

When Hannah was an infant I was always holding her... always. when she napped I usually held her or put her in her boppy right next to me. But she did sleep in her crib at night. But that was a choice we made. I don't look down on people who co sleep and I don't think they all end up with clingy high maintenance children... sure some do but so do some kids who sleep in their own room. I don't think sleeping arrangement dictates what the child will turn out like.

Hannah has always slept in her own room and she certainly doesn't have any seperation anxiety nor do I leave her to cry alone in the dark. I do NOT EVER just let her cry. If she cries when put to bed (this usually only happens if she is sick anyway) I will cuddle her until she is ready to go back to bed (usually only a couple minutes). Most nights I take her to bed at her bedtime and she goes right to sleep. she has no issues with going to strangers and she is very independant.

I don't think that having her sleep in her own crib is going to doom her to a life of anxiety and abandonment issues... just like I don't think that a child is doomed to become clingy because they co sleep. Some children do fine with co sleeping and some children do fine with being in their own room.

[carole]

Absolutely, you are right on there, which ever way one decides, to either co-sleep or not, neither child will grow up with either anxiety or dependence, it depends soley on the child i think and how the parents deal with it.

[Cataholic]

If I had a nickel for every "expert's" opinion on what I am doing/not doing/could be doing for my son, I would be really rich.

I do what feels right for me/us. After all, he is my child.

[JenBKR]

If I had a nickel for every "expert's" opinion on what I am doing/not doing/could be doing for my son, I would be really rich.

I do what feels right for me/us. After all, he is my child.

So true! People are so quick to tell you what ou are doing wrong...and not just experts.....other moms, and even people without any kids! I think you have to have thick skin to be a mom these days......

[BitsyNaceyDog]

The initial query was about co-sleeping, not SIDS. Comparing the two would be like comparing apples and oranges.

I completely misunderstood your statement. I thought you meant ALL babies who died while co-sleeping, including SIDS deaths.

If I had a nickel for every "expert's" opinion on what I am doing/not doing/could be doing for my son, I would be really rich.

I do what feels right for me/us. After all, he is my child.

I completely agree.

[Medusa]

All make interesting points, however, JenBKR simply asked if there are any co-sleepers here on PT. Some of us simply replied to the question w/out expounding on our answers and w/out criticism or value judgment because we realize that each situation is different and therefore is a personal preference as to whether or not to allow co-sleeping.

[Cataholic]

Now, if you wanna keep things moving along, we can "discuss" carseats and EBF! LOL, talk about attitudes, opinions and the like.

[Edwina's Secretary]

If I had a nickel for every "expert's" opinion on what I am doing/not doing/could be doing for my son, I would be really rich.

I do what feels right for me/us. After all, he is my child.

And yet...I think how many times I have read on here "you should not let your cat go outside!" "you are a terrible person for feeding your dog that!!" "You must do this, you must do that!" Even sometimes on the thread for COTD and DOTD!!!

Perhaps we should apply the same standards to how people raise their animals?

...just a thought that stuck me...

[JenBKR]

And yet...I think how many times I have read on here "you should not let your cat go outside!" "you are a terrible person for feeding your dog that!!" "You must do this, you must do that!" Even sometimes on the thread for COTD and DOTD!!!

Perhaps we should apply the same standards to how people raise their animals?

...just a thought that stuck me...

Oh I think you are right, absolutely. Many of us, myself included I am sure, have done just that. I have seen it many times in the dog food threads especially. We are all here because we love our pets, and we should respect each others' decisions

[Cataholic]

And yet...I think how many times I have read on here "you should not let your cat go outside!" "you are a terrible person for feeding your dog that!!" "You must do this, you must do that!" Even sometimes on the thread for COTD and DOTD!!!

Perhaps we should apply the same standards to how people raise their animals?

...just a thought that stuck me...

I do think people need to do what is 'best' based on their opinion. But, I would hope that fact/research/medicine comes into play. Putting your child or pet at risk is different, to me, than making a parenting choice that isn't 'mainstream'.

Without knowing exactly what threads you might be referring to, I am just making general points here:

I do not think there is a whole lot of debate that letting your cat outside is riskier than keeping it inside- cars, fights, disease, etc. Now, there are probably situations that sound pretty ideal, and work to reduce the risk signficantly. And, presumably, people weigh the odds of allowing their cat its freedom and keeping it inside, and act accordingly. Feeding your dog significant amounts of chocolate is just a bad idea. I think the research is pretty strong there.

Co-sleeping with your child, according to the 'research' is not a physical risk, it is a societal risk (if I can call it that). I see it differently than I see not putting your child in a carseat, turning your 8 month old around to face forward in a carseat, giving whole grapes to your 9 month old, etc.

But, I do agree we should all do what seems best for our situation/family.

(EBF is extended breastfeeding. See, on another forum, in a place far, far from here, I was accused of having some sort of illicit relationship with my son cause I EBF. Talk about getting my hackles raised. )

[JenBKR]

(EBF is extended breastfeeding. See, on another forum, in a place far, far from here, I was accused of having some sort of illicit relationship with my son cause I EBF. Talk about getting my hackles raised. )

Oh geez....now that's crazy. I don't see a problem with EBF. Now, there was a woman on Oprah or Tyra Banks or one of those shows who was breast feeding her 8 year old.....that's a bit much for me, but if that's what you want to do, go for it. Ty is pretty much weaned, but I do still nurse him sometimes.

I haven't heard much debate about carseats, is it about turning them around too soon?

[Lori Jordan]

No!the only place the kids were,was in there basinette beside the bed.I was too scared to be honest.I have heard horror stories about things that have happend.Not to mention id never get any sleep,I find they come too dependant and dont want to leave the parents bed.I dont have anything against people who do.It just worried me too much.

[sabies]

Sam co-slept with us for many months then went to a crib right next to me then a little after a year old was in her own room.

In the beginning sleep was better for me with her in my bed (we used a thing to put in an adult bed that has breathable "walls" that help protect from our pillows). When she got bigger and didn't stay swaddled she was kicking me in her sleep (only me never dad) so into her crib she went. At some point she started trying to play or have our attention if she woke up so into her own room she went and peacefully she has slept thru every night since. Even when she is sick she still sleeps fairly well, falling right back to sleep after receiving care.

So I guess I just went with the flow of what worked and now we are expecting baby #2 so my plan is to do the same but I guess that could change if the baby has a different plan! I don't know if I'm ready for round the clock feeding again but I'm up anyway now with hip pain so I guess the sleeplessness has already started.