Puddy

[Medusa]

Thanx, everyone. I had a feeling that you'd understand. I have a good friend that I met when I lived in Sedona, AZ. She moved there from England and a couple of years after I moved back to Ohio, she moved again back to England. We've kept in touch all these years; it's been 13 years now and we talk on the phone regularly. She had to have her dog Sunny PTS a couple of weeks ago and I helped her through that and then when Puddy died, she helped me. She's a hospice nurse and grief counselor and she knew exactly what to say. And believe me, she has had her own share of troubles. Her brother became ill and she flew to England to see him and he died before she could make it to his bedside. On the day of his funeral, she got a call from the U.S. saying that the hemorrhoids that she thought she had turned out to be rectal cancer. So this is one strong lady.

She wanted to give me some time, so she emailed me and then called me today. She never got to meet any of my cats and I never got to meet any of her dogs but the first thing she said when she called me today, besides 'How are you', is "Tell me about Puddy". So I rambled on but it felt GOOD. My friends here say they understand but truly, I know they don't. When I told them about how expensive Puddy's meds were, the standard reply was "For a cat??? Are you gonna pay that???" I'll admit that I was stunned at the high price but never for a second did I think that I wouldn't pay it. I was concerned about HOW I was going to pay it but never IF.

Clare, my friend from England, told me that grief is like a big box that we carry around on our shoulders. In the beginning, it's so heavy that we can hardly carry it. As time passes, the box becomes lighter and smaller, to the point where we can put it in our pocket. We take it out occasionally and look at it, then put it back in our pocket to be dealt with again later when the need arises. After a while, it's no longer painful to look at the box but it helps us to recall the good times. Right now, the box that I'm carrying is pretty darned big but it's getting smaller and lighter every day, thanx to my good friends here on PT, Clare, the Fur Posse and, of course, my son and my ex-husband John. Ok, now I'm gonna cry again....

[carole]

Your friend makes so much sense and i love the way she put that to you,it takes time Mary, some of us sooner, some of us much later, when i lost my sooti, i grieved constantly for over three months, infact it was not really healthy the way i grieved in a sense, sure i cryed, but life just seemed so empty ,and i had my hubby ,kids and Ash,at the time,to think about,but i was consumed with it all, especially guilt as well,it was not until my sweet lexie arrived, that the grief i felt eased, and i got back to normal, he has never left my thoughts,and will always hold a special place in my heart,as Puddy will with you.

You take care now and remember it is only very early days yet, you are doing extremely well,HUGS.

[Emeraldgreen]

Clare, my friend from England, told me that grief is like a big box that we carry around on our shoulders. In the beginning, it's so heavy that we can hardly carry it. As time passes, the box becomes lighter and smaller, to the point where we can put it in our pocket. We take it out occasionally and look at it, then put it back in our pocket to be dealt with again later when the need arises. After a while, it's no longer painful to look at the box but it helps us to recall the good times.

What an amazing way to think about grief. I can only imagine how heavy that box must be for you right now. I hope that you will continue to allow yourself to cry whenever, laugh whenever, post whenever and think of Puddy, good times and bad when the need arises. It will all sort itself out.
I remember when Charlie died last year under anesthesia, I was a complete wreck. I was angry with God and I cried buckets for weeks. I shocked myself with how much grief was pouring out. That has now passed but I still can't look at his picture without my heart feeling very heavy. And part of me hopes that never goes away because it is a reminder of how much he meant to me.

Puddy was your family and anyone who doesn't get that just hasn't allowed themselves to be 'touched' by an animal the way they are able to do if we let them. I often receive the same feedback with regard to money spent on pets and I don't even bother trying to explain anymore. Hopefully a special pet will cross their paths one day and steal their hearts so they too will know what it's all about.

I wouldn't doubt for a second that your Puddy girl is visiting you. That's so neat about hearing the 'tap tap tap' the other night. Could it be the fabulous fudgesicle feline? Why not??

[Medusa]

the fabulous fudgesicle feline?

Love it!