Opinions needed..............

[DrKym]

Tee-Hee who said Hagrid is going home (kidding hunny) as for houses the one next door is down to 39K now so you could move here....hint hint.

Tiff and Stuart are halfway through the divorce already and waiting on little more than the custody agreement( see she doesn't call unless she needs me i.e. the car payoff last month, and no mention of the divorce until she needed me)

I really feel awful, I love her dearly, but I don't really like her attitude as a person if that makes sense and I am going to go to Mommy hell for admitting that.

Boundary setting is not an option, she will agree and then do what she wants anyway, which is how she wound up married at 17, she had her Daddy sign, so that she could leave the house.

She felt my rules were too strict and since Jesse was married and free......well you get the idea.

[Blue_Frog]

Tee-Hee who said Hagrid is going home (kidding hunny) as for houses the one next door is down to 39K now so you could move here....hint hint.

Holy Fishsticks Batman! I can't even get a one bedroom condo out here for less than 149K! Maybe I should move out there

Seriously tho, you need to do whats best for your health (physical and mental), no matter how much you love your kids. And having the extra stress of your daughter and 2 babies in the house is likely not the best plan. You could help her to find a place of her own, get herself settled back into teh area, and even offer to watch the kids once in a while (ie. not everyday from 9-5), but with the zoo and everything else, theres only so many bodies that can be wedged into one household, and i think yours might be nearing capacity

[DrKym]

Ali, I agree with the zoo part lol!
I did talk to Tiffany today and was told, that since I seem unable to help her and her kids when and how they need it then she will be unable to let me see them, as she only allows family that gives a damn to be a part of their lives.

So I guess I did not have to make the decision after all.

Jesse called and tried to tell me not to be hurt, that Tiff is stressed and being awful to everyone, and to let it slide. That she will keep me updated on the kids and talk to her sister if she doesn't nail her first.

[mike001]

You have the answer to your question under your nose. What your daughter said to you about not seeing your grandchildren because you can't help is selfish and immature.
Invite her to live near you, make it clear that she must find her own place because of your health issues and make it clear that she is the mom for the kids, not you. Sounds like she needs to grow up fast. It didn't work before, it won't work now. I wouldn't put my health on hold for her problems that she herself created. Make it very clear that she will have to get a job to support herself and her kids.
If you can spare the money, offer to pay first month's rent on a place and then she's in charge.
I think it's called tough love. The dividends are great in the end though. Good luck.

[Catty1]

Actually, Mike - I think Tiff's comments to her mom put her in just the right spot for her to work everything out for herself, as she should.

If Tiff has cut Kym off - FOR NOW - then she can go ahead and do it her way. A few good doses of humble pie won't hurt her one bit.

"...if [Jesse} doesn't nail her first." LOL

Kym - sounds like you can let this one slide - Tiff has to figure this out by herself, is PO'd and taking it out on everyone. That is my guess.

HUGS to you...Look after yourself and maybe she will learn to do the same.

[cassiesmom]

HUGS to you...Look after yourself and maybe she will learn to do the same.

Hugs from here, too, and prayers and good thoughts.

[carole]

Gosh i don't envey your situation at all, i am sure your daughter is just stressed and does not really mean what she is saying,still very hurtful all the same.

Maybe it is a blessing in disguise that she has taken this stance with you, we all want to be there for our children in hard times,but is sounds like your daughter is making that very difficult for you to do just that, honestly she just has to meet you half way, or it's no way, as for being a built in babysitter, that is not fair either, you have your own well-being and life to think about as well,be there for her as much as you feel you can, I am sure if she got a place of her own nearby, you would beable to pick and choose your time with her and the children, and help whenever you felt it was possible or needed, anyhow good luck, and try not too feel guilty, because you have nothing to feel guilty about ok.

[Daisy and Delilah]

Actually, Mike - I think Tiff's comments to her mom put her in just the right spot for her to work everything out for herself, as she should.

If Tiff has cut Kym off - FOR NOW - then she can go ahead and do it her way. A few good doses of humble pie won't hurt her one bit.

"...if [Jesse} doesn't nail her first." LOL

Kym - sounds like you can let this one slide - Tiff has to figure this out by herself, is PO'd and taking it out on everyone. That is my guess.

HUGS to you...Look after yourself and maybe she will learn to do the same.

Well said!!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Do you have any other family members living with you? If so, what effect would the change in arrangements have on them?

[wombat2u2004]

Ali, I agree with the zoo part lol!
I did talk to Tiffany today and was told, that since I seem unable to help her and her kids when and how they need it then she will be unable to let me see them, as she only allows family that gives a damn to be a part of their lives.

So I guess I did not have to make the decision after all.

Jesse called and tried to tell me not to be hurt, that Tiff is stressed and being awful to everyone, and to let it slide. That she will keep me updated on the kids and talk to her sister if she doesn't nail her first.

Ahhhhhh...Doc. You don't deserve this mate. Mike has a good idea, perhaps you should try that.
Wom