Kim, I don't know you well enough to offer much advice - but I think what everyone else has said to this point is very good.
My thing is about Tony - the above comment of yours just jumped at me. Get the locks to your house changed. If he can get his mail, he can get other things.
Take a cardboard box and label it YOUR MAIL.
(decorate it with pics of flowers and sun-shiney things, then leave it on the porch.)
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