He moved out a few days later, and 3 months later has not spoken one word, but comes to the house when he knows we're not home (We know this because his mail disappears on a regular basis)...
Kim, I don't know you well enough to offer much advice - but I think what everyone else has said to this point is very good.

My thing is about Tony - the above comment of yours just jumped at me. Get the locks to your house changed. If he can get his mail, he can get other things.