Opinions sought...teenagers especially and mothers....

[carole]

Ok I thought I would just put this by my PT advisors and see what you think, my daughter Melissa has been bugging me for ages to have her Belly Button pierced, I have so far up until now said NO when you are older , she is 13, well her best friend has had it done, and said it hurt a lot and had a few problems initally, bleeding profusely at the time, so then Melissa was like no way am I going through that, however time has passed since and she is now bugging me again, and keeps asking why when I am older, and I really cannot come up with a very good reason, so I have decided to offer her an incentive, or ultimatium if you like, she has problems with exzema on her inner arms and behind her legs, and she is very nawtee and does not try to look after it and it gets really bad, so I said until she can prove to me to be responsible to start using the creams to clear it up and continue with the moisturizing I would not even consider the belly button Piercing, she is happy with that and so far is making the effort.

Now it seems I have made a decision and I have I guess, but I wondered whether you think I have done the right thing here, and if you are a teenager what do you think?

P.S I personally don't like the idea of her having to go through the pain, even though she has two ear piercings, for some reason the belly just seems scarey to me, I doubt whether i could take her myself, someone else would have to go with her, as the thought of it freaks me out.

[katienoonan]

I got my bellybutton pierced when I was 16 (I am now 22). I had done a lot of research on the subject before I did it and before bugging my mom, I had found a shop that would pierce me with her consent AND used only brand new needles for each piercing. The piercer was also in the profession for over 20 years. I had to prove to my mother I knew what I was getting myself into. The piercing also has to be taken care of afterward. It's not like it's pierced and you are done. It takes time to heal, you HAVE TO follow the aftercare instructions the piercer gives you. If you think she is responsible enough then let her.

Personally, my bullybutton piercing didn't at all, the clamps pinched a little. I didn't feel the needle go in. I did get it caught on my pants once and it hurt a little.

[buttercup132]

i would say make her do the cream for a month bacause havin belly button periced you HAVE to look after it or else it will get severly infected and its not good and she will have to end up taking it out i got mine done when i was just turning 14 so if she is like just turned 13e then thats a little young but ya make sure she staus on top of her cream or shes not gonnna look after her ring, and who did her freinds belly button no peircings done properly bleed only the ones that are done by a unexperienced person like a freind, i would see if the other girls mom knows she got her belly button peirced

[carole]

Thank you both for your valued opinions, Yes Melissa will have to prove to me for at least up until xmas time whether she will look after her exzema(sp), of course I am thinking once she has what she wants, then she will forget about it, which really she cannot afford to as it gets way out of hand and really bad, I have no fears she will look after the piercing well, she is at the moment taking care of her ears, she just had the 2nd hole done two weeks ago and has been very diligent in taking care of them.

Her friends piercing was done by a professional, I am not sure on all the details, but something went a bit wrong, yes I will be making certain that she checks out a really good place before I consent you can bet on that.

She has assured me she just wants this done and one more in her ear, she is not into any other piercings, like her tongue,eyebrow or chin.,I would rather she wait but then I cannot find a really good reason as to why she should wait, if she is responsible enough to take care of it, and find out the info regarding it really I can see no harm, it is purely decorative after all, and I guess they do look rather nice IMO., I suppose that is why I have relented some as to my firmer NO absolutely NOT decision six months ago.

Kim i missed your post reply when I first posted this, in response back,yes the deal will be about 3 mths all together, and I guess I am more liberal, I personally donot have a real objection to it, I am just more frightened incase something goes wrong, does that mean none of your girls are allowed pierced ears either? Honestly I don't really see it as a maturity issue, more a reponsibility issue, I feel Melissa will not let me down in that department, so far looking after her ears she has been fantastic, she just has to prove herself with her skin problems or no BB piercing. Thanks Kim I do value you honest opinion.

[Roxyluvsme13]

I have 3 holes in each ear, plus the cartilage in the left ear. I think I may get a 4th hole and the other cartilage pierced, but never anything besides ears for me!

[catnapper]

Carole, they do have their ears pierced. The oldest has two holes at the bottom and one at the top of her ear. We have no problem with ear piercings. It is the others that hubby objects to, mainly because he's a teacher and knows that teachers, employers, and so on judge a kid based on what they have pierced, tatooed, etc. It might not be right, but thats the way it is. He feels that if they truly want it, then they can think of what they want and how it will reflect who they are... some day when they DO get it, thy will be old enough to know that it is what they really want and it is who they are. By then, they can then proove themselves and carry themselves in a way that they speak for themselves, not their appearance speaking for them (as is often the case in youger people).

Think about it: you are out and see 2 people with a tongue piercing. One is 15, the other in their late 20's. What do you think of the young one? Follower? Trying to be cool? What do you think about the older one? An individual? Confident? Trendy? What do you think of these people? Most often, your impression of the two people with the same piericing will be different when they are worn by two people in different age groups.... mainly because you expect the older persomn to have made the decision on what to pierce based upon a mature decision that represents who they are. Most of the time, we expect a "kid" to have done it because they saw it on their friends, on tv, in the magazines, etc and they think it'll make them a part of somethng they want ot be a part of.

Did that make sense?

[catnapper]

How long is this deal for? One month is not long enough. She needs to show she is mature enough for a lot longer than that.

As a mom, wow, you are far more liberal than I! We say no piercings until they live on their own and pay all their bills. If they can do that, then they can determine what they want to do with their body. Until then, their body is ours

Our oldest tried piericing her own ear once, it infected BADLY. Then she tried the nose ring herself. Hubby told her that she must have decided to start paying room and board. Man, that nose ring was out faster than you could blink -- she KNEW he was serious, and she also lost the right to drive for another 6 months. We say if you aren't matue and responsible enough to follow the rules of the house and respect your parent's wishes, then you are definately not mature enough to put a permanent hole in your body.