Opinions needed before tonight...

**Taz_Zoee** · 07-23-2010, 10:15 AM

Ok, so we took Jax with us on our vacation at the beginning of the month because he was still so small and he didn't get along that well with Paizly yet and she was staying at my moms house.

Now we are going away again this weekend (to the same place we took vacation) and I am not sure what to do with him. Paizly will stay home since its only for the weekend. We had thought to bring him with us again, but I have another thought. Do you think it might help or hurt the bonding between Paizly and Jax if I left them home alone?

Paizly still hisses and growls at him all the time. She'll play with him but it usually ends in her getting pissy with him. The other night she was alseep on the bed and Jax came over and layed next to her. She hissed, swatted and ran away. It was so sad.

He just wanted to cuddle with her. So he decided to go cuddle with the dogs instead.

I asked Bruce what he thought and he was concerned that since he is still so small that he might get stuck somewhere and not be able to get out. I asked him if he's ever gotten stuck somewhere while we were home. No. So why would he get stuck somewhere if we aren't home? I had a point. So I thought I'd come ask PT what they thought.

Take him with us or leave him home with Paizly and hope it will help them bond?
Thanks!

**Freedom** · 07-23-2010, 10:56 AM

Do you leave them together when both of you go out? Work day, or shopping, dinner out, whatever?

If so, then they could stay together.

If you leave them separated still, then take him with you.

Just my thought.

When I brought "Baby Chestnut" home, he was a one pound kitten. My RB Amber was a bit put out to say the least. Sparkle took care of the baby like her own (and she had never had kittens!) and Vita kept her distance. I left Sparkle and Chestnut in my bedroom together during the day when I was at work. Eventually, I tried leaving them all in the whole apartment. I was doing this when I went out for groceries and so forth.

Came home and found Chestnut in the evergreen shrub as we entered the building. Amber swatter him off the balcony! (I had put in a pet door to the balcony, as it was the 3rd floor, so the cats never tried to jump off, too high). My neighbor saw it happen (though she didn't go down and rescue him!

) Thank goodness that evergreen was there! Chestnut was meowing up a storm, ha haa.

So Sparkle and the kitten were back in my bedroom for more weeks while I was out at work.

It happened twice more! Before finally, Chestnut was big enough to outmaneuver Amber.

**shais_mom** · 07-23-2010, 11:03 AM

Gosh that's a tough one.
If you leave him home you'll worry about him all weekend.
If you take him you'll worry you messed up the bonding process.
Tho the bonding process will happen on its own time. Paizly has tortietude - she will do things on her own time!

I hope some of the others with more cat experience than me can help.
((hugs))
{{ppssst add me on facebook staci ** musselman }}

no asterick

**krazyaboutkatz** · 07-23-2010, 11:36 AM

Yes, this is a tough one to answer. Will you be having a friend or neighbor coming over to check on Paizly? If so then I'd probably also leave Jax at home with Paizly.

Do still keep them separated when you're not there? If so then I guess you'd need to just keep them in separate rooms while you're away if you do decide to leave Jax at home. Good luck with whatever you decide.

**lvpets2002** · 07-23-2010, 11:50 AM

I will have to aggree with the others & their notations of = if the two stay together during the day or night when you both are gone && then leave them together for the weekend.. And since you said Paizly jumps down after hissing & swating then I see of no problems.. Now you might have a friend or family member to peek in on them say like Saturday Night.. Good Luck & keep us posted ok..

**Taz_Zoee** · 07-23-2010, 11:55 AM

Staci, I will add you on FB as soon as I'm done here.

Thanks!

Sandie and Tracey, normally we do not leave them alone together in the house while we are out or at night. Because Bruce is afraid he is too small and will get stuck somewhere!

However, one time Bruce was not home and I ran out for a while and I did leave them alone in the house together. All was well when I returned (of course it was only about 10 minutes total).

We do not have anyone to come check on Paizly since we are only gone for the weekend. And I don't have anyone close enough to come check on them just once. Bruce is picky about who has access to our house.

Personally, I think it would help in the bonding process because Paizly will play with him without any hissing at all when we aren't looking. As soon as they are in a room with one of us she begins the hissing and growling. Well, this is not consistent, because we do sometimes hear her hissing and growling in the other room. But this little boy is persistant! He does not back down from her when she hisses, growls or even baps him upside the head. LOL

I guess I'll see if any others have suggestions and also discuss it with Bruce again. Thanks ladies!!

**lvpets2002** · 07-23-2010, 12:07 PM

Keep in Mind Cats are very territorial.. I am sure most of the time Paizly's hissing is due to she is telling Jax of her territory.. This be wheather its you & hubby or a room that she thinks is her territory.. I still think things will be fine.. However go by your instincts & do what you think is best..

**shais_mom** · 07-23-2010, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by Taz_Zoee

Personally, I think it would help in the bonding process because Paizly will play with him without any hissing at all when we aren't looking. As soon as they are in a room with one of us she begins the hissing and growling. Well, this is not consistent, because we do sometimes hear her hissing and growling in the other room. But this little boy is persistant! He does not back down from her when she hisses, growls or even baps him upside the head. LOL

I guess I'll see if any others have suggestions and also discuss it with Bruce again. Thanks ladies!!

added you!

if you think it will help the bonding process - then I'd leave Jax at home.
have a good time!

**moosmom** · 07-23-2010, 01:20 PM

Since there is still alot of hissing and growling, I wouldn't leave them alone unsupervised. If you're only going away for a couple of days, just leave plenty of food and water (water especially since it's summer and hot out) out for them in their respect places. Cats are natural grazers. They won't gobble up a big bowl of food at one time. Remember, cats don't like change. And since they are still in the process of getting used to each other, I wouldn't take the chance. Just my opinion from years of experience.

**Taz_Zoee** · 07-23-2010, 01:37 PM

They won't gobble up a big bowl of food at one time. WHAT!? I think Jax did not get this memo!! He gobbles Paizly food like it's going out of style!!
It's either take Jax with us or leave him home to have run of the house with Paizly. I don't want to leave him locked up in his bedroom for the weekend. Especially since he is scratching at the rug by the door as it is in the mornings when he can hear me getting ready. We lock him in there at night so we can sleep. Otherwise he runs all over the place and gets Paizly all excited.

Again, thank you all for the responses. I will be taking everything into consideration and will discuss it again with Bruce. We will probably end up taking him with us. I just feel bad doing that because of the long car ride up and back. Although my parents would probably like it. They will be up there with us and can spend time with him since they didn't get to during our vacation. My dad said I could leave him at their house when I stopped by to pick up Paizly on the way home after vacation. LOL

**kitten645** · 07-23-2010, 04:14 PM

I would take him with you. Not so much for the bonding issue. I think eventually they will work it out. But you'll worry all weekend and I think it's good to socialize him more. I wish Calvin wouldn't freak out when we have to go in the car/carrier. I'd love to take him out and about sometimes but all he's ever known is this apartment. If Jax likes "vacationing" I would encourage that.
C

**catmandu** · 07-23-2010, 04:52 PM

If you go to Cat Fancy I am sure that they ahve some excellent articles on kitten proofing your home so Jax will not be stuck, but Kittens are Kittens and Jax will have to explore.
Thats great that he bonds with Your Dogs

And I have the feeling that Paizley will come around one day.

My Pouncer, also a Tortie hated Mr Scrappy but eventually came around and they were insperable after that.

Good Luck with the Socialization

**Taz_Zoee** · 07-23-2010, 05:09 PM

Claudia, I talked to Bruce this afternoon and said we'll probably end up taking him with us. LOL

And I think we should start leaving him out with Paizly when we go places, like the store or dinner etc.

Gary, it would be so difficult to kitty-proof our house. Bruce has a music studio with all kinds of small places behind speakers and things for a kitty to go. One time he went into the drum room and got behind the plexi-glass partition around the drums and started meowing so loud because he was stuck!

But other than that he's never really gotten stuck in a spot. But thanks!

**Medusa** · 07-23-2010, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by Taz_Zoee

normally we do not leave them alone together in the house while we are out or at night. Because Bruce is afraid he is too small and will get stuck somewhere!

However, one time Bruce was not home and I ran out for a while and I did leave them alone in the house together. All was well when I returned (of course it was only about 10 minutes total).

We do not have anyone to come check on Paizly since we are only gone for the weekend. And I don't have anyone close enough to come check on them just once.

This answered the question for me. Better to be safe than sorry. You've got plenty of time to allow them to bond and love one another. I'd take him.