Flutter is at the vet being prepped for tomorrow's surgery. I heard them mention putting on a pain patch... owie. I knew it was going to hurt, but putting on a pain patch now, 24 hours before the surgery? I'm just sick thinking about how much this will hurt her.

I have so many portraits to do for work, but I came home and fell asleep because thats all I could think about. I now feel drained. I am emotionless one minute, overwhelmed emotionally the next minute. I can't concentrate, and I have a hard time focusing.... both mental focus and visual focus. I think I "broke my eyeballs" from all the crying. Why is this hurting me so bad? I keep telling myself over and over again that its all for the best, but my heart doesn't believe it.

I won't know how she is until tomorrow night, and won't be able to pick her up until Friday. The next 48 hours is going to KILL me!

Please, hold my hand til I hear how she is, til I see her little girly face? Til I hear her sweet little squeaky meow of complaint? I MISS HER ALREADY!!!!!!