Can we love our cats too much?

[Kirsten]

This is something I'm sometimes wondering about. Like many of us here, I love my girls a lot, sometimes think too much, as I'm always worried about them and the thought of losing them some day is unbearable. When my RB Katz got older, I kept telling her she must never leave me, and yet she did - of course, because she was 14 years old and had severe heart problems.

When she passed, it's been really a very hard and mournful time for me, a time btw in which I got more support from internet friends than from those I know in person.

Katz just meant the world to me, and so do Luna and Lily these days. Especially Luna is so close to me that my heart just melts when she's only looking at me with her sweet lovable face. But the more you're attached to someone, the more it will be painful if anything happens - and I really fear that.

Does that make sense to anyone?

Kirsten

[catmandu]

IT CERTAINLY MAKE SENSE,TO ME,KIRSTEN,AS THE MAJORITY,OF THE FOUND CATS,ARE SENIOR CITIZENS,WITH MICHAEL 14,PRINESS 14,MOOSE 10,BOBO 12,AND JOSEPH 11.
I KNOW,THAT THE CAT ANGELS,WILL COME,AND ESCORT MY FRIENDS,TO THE RAINBOW BRIDGE,ONE FINE DAY,SO I INDULGE,THEM,WITH TREATS,KNOWING,THAT I MAY BE HASTENING THAT DAY.
AND YET,IF I DENY THEM TREATS,I WILL FEEL GUILTY.
ITS A HARD CHOICE,TO MAKE,BUT I WANT MY CATS,TO BE HEALTHY.
BUT,I KNOW,WHAT YOU MEAN,KIRSTEN,AS DOES ANYONE,WHO HAS SENIOR KITTYZENS!!

[orangemm]

It makes perfect sense to me.

I felt that way about all our cats. The ones who have gone to the RB are missed just as much today as the day that they left me.

My husband and I cried together every time the unthinkable happened and I, too, dread the time that means my boys will go away to the RB.

I think in a place like this (with like souls) is where we feel most comfortable expressing the love we feel for our beloved pets. I guess that's why I'm here so much!

[CalliesMom]

I get teased by family that I love the kitties too much, particularly Callie. No one else in my family buys their cats toys, treats, what have you and my house is littered with all these things.

I think how we treat our animals says a lot about us as people. I would rather love something too much than to never experience that love at all. It will break my heart when my kitties pass on, but I would rather have them in my life.

[Soapets]

Yes, I definitely know what you mean. But it is much better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. If we didn't all die sometime, life wouldn't have much meaning. It makes us appreciate the time we have here, knowing that it won't last......

But it still hurts to lose those we love, etc........

Deb

[rkidsrcats]

We not only love our cats and Sam dearly, we plan part of our lesiure time to be spent with them - not because we have to, but because they are more entertaining than TV, movies or dinner out!
Plus they TRUST us so much to care for them and about them that we feel good that we created that kind of bond with them.
We hang out with people who treat their animals the same way and yes, I admit it. I judge character based on how someone treats their pets or animals in general. It tells me a whole lot about them.

[lisalee]

I certainly love Sash too much and it does scare me. I've lost three other cats and it was so very hard, but we also didn't have the same bond I have with Sash. Sash has been with me the longest and we are incredibly close. I don't have any kids or other animals, I think the entire world of him. I do believe I love him more than he loves me though.

So yes, I have a lot of fear of losing Sash someday, especially since he turns 13 this month, it terrifies me greatly I can't even think about it. I just hope and pray that he will be with me a long time still and try to enjoy each day.

[catnapper]

Sometimes I wonder about that. Whenever I have to stay at my mom's overnight, first thing I do after dinner is call hubby to make sure the cats got their evening meal, that their litterboxes have been scooped, and that everyone is fine. By everyone, I mean felines. Humans, well, I figure I'd hear otherwise if they were hurt in any way. Mom laughs at me because she says I worry about them more than my husband and kids. Do I?

This summer, hubby wanted to go away for a few days in the worst way. I came up with a thousand excuses NOT to go... but really it was because if we went away, who was going to care for the cats? And Angel was REALLY sick at the time, so who was going to double check on her? I love these cats more than I want to get away! Yes, I'd love to be able to skip town for the weekend, but I don't want to because in the back of my brain all weekend, I'll be thinking of the cats and wondering if they are ok. Of course they are JUST FINE... chances are they'd sleep all day and night, and they have each other to keep company, and I have a hundred toys... but still.... I am only truly happy when I am close to them.

[Randy_K]

I understand. We seem too attached to living, breathing creatures that have the emotional depth to be able to give love. And somehow you question if it makes sense to love them back. Of course it does. Yes, they don't live as long as we'd like (or need) them to but we know that coming in. We know that about people too.

You could remain emotionally detatched for fear of loss or you can enjoy the relatively brief time you have with your kitties. It's your call.

Some people aren't comfortable with nonverbal communication and have a hard time with animals. Others don't adjust well with an animal that sees us as a peer rather than being subservient to us. Evidently none of us have a problem with that!

[krazyaboutkatz]

I already know that I love my cats too much but they're my family and my furkids. I've never been married, don't have a significant other, and don't have any children so they're my family and have also become a huge part of my life. I don't travel very often and if I do I don't like to be away for very long because I worry about them too much. I enjoy hanging out with them more than most people. They give me unconditional love, are very entertaining, and help ease the stress of every day life. I don't even want to think about my life without them and I hope that they'll be able to live with me for many many years to come.

[carole]

Oh I too can relate to what you are saying Kirsten, when My Sooti died it was unbearable, I was so attached to him, it really did take a long time for me to get over losing him, Lexie did help me with my loss, but she never replaced him as such.

Now I look at her and my Ash and think how unbearable it will be when their time comes, I can only hope they live long lives and that they are with me for a long time, but yes it hurts just even thinking about it, I for one am glad I can feel this emotion to an animal, I just cannot understand those who donot and boy are they missing out bigtime.

Sooti was young and he should not have died, and that made it even harder, if our pets have long happy lives, it is all we can ask for, and it does make their passing a little less sad, but still the longer you have them , the more attached you become, oh heck just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

I am not ashamed of how much I feel for my kitties, they are my day companions, and they bring such joy to my life, even the pain of losing them is worth the joy of having them if you all know what I mean. hope that makes some kinda sense.

[sirrahbed]

I feel much like Lisalee.....it sometimes scares me that I love and worry about my kitties. We have had many sick kitties here lately, and then some losses, too......I felt so sad that I did not want to read or post at times.....

But, my kids are all grown, married and gone and the kitties ARE my family that I am with every day. I love to observe their mannerisms, love to see them happy, and reallt am glad to be their servants. They are the daily part of my life and I would rather be with them than people most of the time.

One thing that bothers and worries me is this: my last cats were all of similar age and we eventually had all geriatrics and they died one by one of different ailments...now, my kitties are again of similar age - Dylan is 3, E&E are 2 and the babies are 1. In 12-15 years or so - we will have geriatrics again. Any cats I take in the future - I want to have older cats or no more cats. I am fearful of being old myself and leaving cats still alive.

Hope I made some sense here as it is very emotional - the way I feel and love my kitty kids.

[orangemm]

I feel the same way, Debbie, but I cannot imagine myself WITHOUT kitties at all. Just couldn't do it...........

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Originally posted by sirrahbed
I feel much like Lisalee.....it sometimes scares me that I love and worry about my kitties. We have had many sick kitties here lately, and then some losses, too......I felt so sad that I did not want to read or post at times.....

But, my kids are all grown, married and gone and the kitties ARE my family that I am with every day. I love to observe their mannerisms, love to see them happy, and reallt am glad to be their servants. They are the daily part of my life and I would rather be with them than people most of the time.

One thing that bothers and worries me is this: my last cats were all of similar age and we eventually had all geriatrics and they died one by one of different ailments...now, my kitties are again of similar age - Dylan is 3, E&E are 2 and the babies are 1. In 12-15 years or so - we will have geriatrics again. Any cats I take in the future - I want to have older cats or no more cats. I am fearful of being old myself and leaving cats still alive.

Hope I made some sense here as it is very emotional - the way I feel and love my kitty kids.

Debbie, that is exactly how I feel! My cats are now 3, 3 and 1(??). I love them to pieces; and I won't go anywhere before doublechecking if every one is okey!!
Yes Kirsten it hurts more than anything else when your dear cat dies.... . I still cry when I see Sydney's pics

[gini]

What a thought provoking thread!

In my whole life I have only had one dog. She was an all black miniature poodle, one of a litter of seven. Her siblings lived with us as well - but she knew that she had my heart. I had her for far too short of a time and I was shattered when I lost her.

My next love was Suger - an all white - long haired kitty that I loved dearly for 18 years. It took me months to even be able to say his name after he was gone. He was my little soul mate.

My next kitty was one that my husband and I adopted. It was supposed to be "his" cat because Sugar had been mine for so long. But when it was all said and done - Patches was truly mine and we had a heart connection as well.

Then along came Magic - all black - long haired - and one of the sweetest cats I have ever known. The communication between us was amazing. Talk about love being shown by an animal - goodness - it was so sweet it almost hurt. Magic had just "shown up" in my yard at around nine months - and I lost him to cancer when he was 13.

Right before I lost Magic, Rascal again "just showed up" and it was clear he was going to live with me. He practically showed me in every way possible that I had no choice in the matter.

I will never regret taking him in............

And then Annie and Emma were more or less dumped on me by my neighbor. And here I am with three orange kitties.

I have learned that whatever you put into an animal you get back a thousand fold. But it takes time.........you have to be consistent and persistent. Annie and Emma were offspring of a stray - so they were somewhat wild..........but three years later I have utter devotion from them - and finally complete trust.

Do we ever love them too much? I don't think that is possible. They deserve every last drop you can give them.

The most difficult part is of course, saying goodbye..........but have we really parted? How could a pet that has given you so much love and purrs and headbumps and fun - ever leave you? They are firmly locked in my heart and I know that I am in theirs.