Feeling Sad!!

**Jadapit** · 03-01-2005, 09:13 AM

My son is 19 and him and his friend just found a place to rent so Brian (my son) is moving out this weekend. It hit me that both my kids are grown up and they are making their way in the world.

It's hard knowing that your baby is all grown up and ready to leave. It's going to be hard I will probably be a wreck when he starts moving his stuff out. "Sigh" Kids grow up so fast. Hard to believe sometimes. It's going to be so werid with him gone. I know it had to happen sometime but that doesn't make it any easier.

**PJ's Mom** · 03-01-2005, 09:52 AM

I'm going to have to start going through the same thing pretty soon. I'm not looking forward to it.

If it helps at all, I never knew you were old enough to have kids that old. I thought you were a teenager yourself.

**moosmom** · 03-01-2005, 09:57 AM

Hey Girls,

It's called the "Empty Nest Syndrome". I went through it too. My daughter will be 29 this month. Trust me, even though they aren't LIVING there, they'll be back. Whether it's for food, doing laundry or just to say hi.

It's a time to celebrate another passage in your lives and theirs!

**ramanth** · 03-01-2005, 10:00 AM

*HUGS*

I'm the opposite... I moved out and miss my 'home' very much. I'm sure my parents miss me... I think.

*laughs*

**Karen** · 03-01-2005, 10:20 AM

Hee hee - my parents had the opposite syndrome. When Paul asked my parents for permission to marry me, so they knew for ceratin I'd be moving out that summer, my mother said "Oh, I'll put the antique velvet couch in there, and that table and then ... " There are four of us (I'm #3 of the 4) but there's 13 years between the youngest and the oldest, so my folks had dealt with kids in the house for 30 years at that point. Ma was ready to have a "nice room" for company finally!

Freinds of mine were dealing with this not too long ago. Renee and Mike adopted a 13-year-old, so he was only "theirs" and in their house for a "scant" 10 years. I saw them not too long after he moved out, and Renee said "I looked at Mike the other night, and said 'What DID we talk about before Sean came?'"

**Laura's Babies** · 03-01-2005, 10:33 AM

Our job as parents is to raise out young so that they can be independant, self supporting adults and hopefully contribute to society. There is a lot of PRIDE you feel when that happens and they get out on their own and make it.. THAT is when you can start being their friend instead of the rule enforcer.

I looked on the empty nest as time for ME to create a new life for myself after years of them coming first, I could now put ME first.. There are better things ahead in the relationship you will have with them as adults...... but you NEVER stop being Mom and they do apperciate you more.

**moosmom** · 03-01-2005, 03:18 PM

I looked on the empty nest as time for ME to create a new life for myself after years of them coming first, I could now put ME first.. There are better things ahead in the relationship you will have with them as adults...... but you NEVER stop being Mom and they do apperciate you more.

Amen Laura!!!

**sirrahbed** · 03-01-2005, 05:28 PM

(((Hugs))) It was REALLY hard for me too. I cried each time one of them left for college, and then within a short time two years ago - they all three got married and my baby daughter left for Japan. It was all pretty sudden too (short engagements for two of them) and my daughter (only daughter, too) married and left the country less than a month later.
Like I said - it was hard and we were also going through some *terrible* stress (financial, legal, personal)
I know many folks can see it in a positive way - but most do go through a period of sadness and adjustment.
I hope the sadness is short for you and you can maybe find some new things to keep your interest and help you get through it.
More (((HUGS)))))

**carole** · 03-01-2005, 07:07 PM

I fully understand and you have my utmost empathy, been there , done that, it is a very hard time for a mother, I actually believe you need a grieving period to go through, because it is just like a loss, many here will remember when my son left for England, I missed him so much, and he had lived away from home before, but never been overseas and so far away, across the other side of the world, it took me sometime to come to terms with it, but with the love and support of my PT friends and some phone calls from my son, I got through it all.(oh and he did come back after four months)

I am dreading when my younger one leaves , she is only 12 so it is a while off, but when the last baby leaves the nest , it is going to be very hard, being a mother is all I really know.

BIG HUGS to you, and remember it will feel better soon, once you see their independence and that they are happy, you too will feel that way as well, just give it a little time and grieve if you have to
nothing wrong with that.

**Jadapit** · 03-01-2005, 07:19 PM

Thanks so much everyone.

**Christiansmommy** · 03-01-2005, 09:08 PM

I know I am a far ways behind you, since my son is only 3, but I can certainly relate. I feel for you. It starts with letting them go from babies, to toddlers ( and what I wil be experiencing with putting Christian in Pre-school...and not wanting to let go of my baby yet)...and then all of the other phases and changes that will take place. (((HUGS))) to you, mommy. I surely understand not wanting to let them go, no matter how old they are...they will always be our babies, and we, as mothers, will just naturally want them close.