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Thread: cat story.....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Georgia, USA

    cat story.....

    A friend sent this to me and I thought all you people who know how cats can
    be would appreciate this story---------

    Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
    excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

    On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because
    the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
    sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the
    next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the
    bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had
    given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

    Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning, I was
    taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to
    me from the kitchen.

    "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

    "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
    pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

    "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
    in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you
    a second."

    So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
    outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her
    behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and
    stuck my head under the sink to find the button.

    It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning,
    &without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed
    disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new
    kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging
    between my legs.

    She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the
    sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at
    the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
    needle-like claws.

    I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly
    rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten
    hanging from my masculine region.

    Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in
    this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from

    I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly
    and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

    When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

    Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself
    lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-here,
    done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the
    paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all
    the while trying to suppress their hysterical
    laughter......... and not succeeding.

    Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back
    in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of
    me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to
    talk about. Which it was.

    "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
    tongue?"............... If they only knew!

    Alden is here!!
    7/6/2006 - 9 pounds 9 ounces 22 inches


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    I am at work and doing my very best to not bust out in a full giggle for no apparent reason!!!! My eyes are watering, and my side is killing me!! It was so easy to visualize the whole thing!!
    Too funny!!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2002

    All things work together for good to them that love God.
    (Romans 8:28)

    I've been defrosted-- Thanks, Sana

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    indianapolis,indiana usa
    That is soooo funny. I could just imagine the whole
    thing as it happened. Good story.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted

    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Tabbyville, PA
    I'm choking on my cold pizza! You should have poted a "do not read if you are eating/drinking/working" label so we unwitting people doing those things would not hurt ourselves in the attempt to restrain laughter!

    Too funny and I'm definately going to show this one to my husband! he he he he he

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Smyrna, Georgia
    OH............MY...............GOSH! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for the laugh...I was snickering as I answered the phone a moment ago. You made my day!

  7. #7
    Joanne Smith - kitty lovah

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Kirkland, WA
    That was too funny.

    It hurt alot. However very funny none the less.

    No warnings for me, except maybe a little one for the graphic pain part. People I work with are used to me just laughing for no apparent reason. So no one thought that it was unusaul.

    Bob & Joey,
    and their happy and willing slave, Bryan.

    Many Thanks to Kay for the Picture.

    My motto - "Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE!!!!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    SE USA

    It's the pictures

    of this in your mind that get you!! TO FUNNY!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Tabbyville, PA
    I read this story to my husband and afterwards (on purpose or not) he sat with legs crossed for a very long time.

    Still laughing hours later

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Tennessee, USA
    OH MY GOSH!!!!! This has to be one of the most HYSTERICAL things I've ever read!!! Can't wait to pass this one on.... especially to my "CatDaddy"!!! hehehe

    Kim Loves Cats and Doggies Too!

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