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Thread: For Dog People

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002

    For Dog People

    Some of you may have already seen this, but I just got it in an e-mail and thought it was cute

    Dog Definitions -

    LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your
    people where you want them to go.

    DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest
    room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

    DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this
    properly, you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool
    fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.

    A GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test
    your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid
    off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with margarine
    wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

    BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body
    fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash
    out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves
    and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

    DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them
    in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the
    person then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

    THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain
    amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the
    danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and
    following at their heels.

    WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy
    wrappers. When you get bored, turn the basket over and strew the papers all
    around until your person comes home.

    SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite
    to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

    BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and
    themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

    LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without
    restriction. THe best way you can show your love is to wag your tail.

  2. #2
    Cute! and oh so true.
    ~Kimmy, Chipper, Zam, Logan, Raptor, Nimrod, June, Mei, Jasper, Esme, Lucy Inara, & Morla
    RIP my sweet Kia

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Rock Camp, West Virginia
    That is so cute!!
    "Careful what you say, careful what you wish or it may just regret it!"

  4. #4
    That is cute
    Millions of dogs die a year for irresponsible breeding. There are too many dogs in the world. If you are breeding a dog for...

    1.) You want cute lil' pups around da house

    2.) You want to sell them for money

    3.) You want your kids to experience the miracle of birth.

    ...then you are doing the wrong thing. PLEAZ! Spay or neuter you dogs!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Ft. Wayne, IN
    I love that one...I've seen some of them before, but no less fun reading it again.

    Don't buy while shelter dogs die!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Columbia, MD
    I haven't read this one before. I just loved it! So cute and oh so very true!

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