a question re engagements....

[carole]

I ask this out of pure curiosity, down under we get a lot of american television,and i notice on most of them when a couple get engaged, the man chooses her ring, and often surprises her with it, now is this purely television or is this how it is done in the big ole US of A?

I saw this on the Tyra show the other day as well,here in NZ the woman usually chooses her own ring, honestly i would hate someone to choose my jewellery for me, especially something as important as my engagement or wedding ring, the couple go together and choose a ring.

So tell me what is the real tradition in America, and did you choose your own ring? if not did you actually like your ring?

[Karen]

Often a man will surprise a woman with an engagement ring to make it "official." Sometimes it's a family heirloom, which then will need to be sized to fit, but the sentiment is more important than the ring fitting at that moment. Sometime I have known the couple will look at jewelry together, but the actual purchase and presentation is a surprise. Sometimes the man will propose then take the bride out to choose a ring ... Maybe that's why simple diamond solitaires are a popular engagement choice - hard to go wrong with something that classic!

Let's see, among my siblings, there was
1 ring chosen by the groom-to-be and presented when he proposed
1 ring the couple chose together
2 family heirloom rings presented then resized to fit.

But I do not know if we are "typical" in any case!

[Andie]

The engagement itself was not a surprise but the ring was. I knew he had bought the ring but I wasn't allowed to see it. And I love it. I think if the guy knows your taste is jewelery it's not a big deal. I like understated stuff and Dust knew that. My engagement ring is a simple solitaire with chips going down the band. I think there is no typical way anymore just what you feel is right.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I don't know anyone who was "suprised" with a ring. My husband proposed and later we went together to pick out the rings (his too.)

But that doesn't make very good television!

[shepgirl]

Mine was a surprise but hubby knew my tastes and the proposal was not a surprise.

[Sirrahsim]

When we got engaged it was anything but traditional because he was in Japan and I was in Ohio. We were already talking about getting married so he knew what color gold that I wanted but the rest of the decisions regarding the ring were up to him. Due to the oceans between us he had to order it and have it mailed to me. I had to wait for him to call me and then opened the package and looked at the ring while I was on the phone with him I was living in the college dorms at the time so it was a BIG event on my floor

[Suki Wingy]

My family has generally done it that way, yes, but very simple rings, with even simpler plain silver bands for the wedding rings. My step-dad's actually has some sort of design carved into it.

[Twisterdog]

I don't know anyone who was "suprised" with a ring. My husband proposed and later we went together to pick out the rings (his too.)

But that doesn't make very good television!

I, also, don't know anyone who did not pick out her own ring. My husband and I picked out our rings together after he proposed, as did everyone I know.

Perish the thought that my husband, bless his heart, would have picked out a ring for me on his own and surprised me with it. It would have been some huge, cocktail-ring looking thing ... not me at all.

[carole]

thanks everyone, made interesting reading, seems it is a bit of everything over there, here is it as i said you go pick the rings out together, thank goodness, i too would hate anyone picking out my ring for me,but for those who did, it seems they knew your taste very well and you were more than happy with their choice,ten out of ten for them.