How Do You Handle This?

[dukedogsmom]

I was recently stabbed in the back by someone I had thought was my friend for years. I'm too trusting a person and this has often come back to haunt me. How do you handle it?

[Karen]

Oh, Val, I am sending you a very big hug.

That's the sad price we pay sometimes, but I'd rather be a trusting person and get hurt sometimes than be suspicious of everyone and always lonely.

Sending you another big hug.

[caseysmom]

You should do whats best for you...forgive and move on...it will be easier on your blood pressure.

You know the saying fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Just don't trust that person again.

[Marigold2]

Yes Karen is right. I have been hurt like this as well.... When this happens I think of all the wonderful friends I do have. Don't let one nasty person harden your heart. What makes you trusting is what makes you special.

[Karen]

Oooh, oooh, I thought of a new answer!!!

Give Dasher a great big bellyrub - he'll look so goofy, and be so happy, that you'll feel better about life as well!

[Daisy and Delilah]

I'm sorry, Val. It goes to show you that we don't really know people as well as we think we do sometimes. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[gini]

Funny you should start this thread, Val. I had this happen to me about two years ago. I was floored.........but then I realized that even though I was hurt, part of it was my own fault for not seeing the person as they really were.

Life does go on - and belly rubs for certain dogs - do ease the stress

[columbine]

As a card-carrying Lousy Judge of Character, I've been there many times. All you can do is shrug it off, say, "Whoops, I made a really bad mistake for a really long time," and go on. Once you've healed a bit, if you want to you can try to go back through the events that led up to the betrayal to see if you can identify patterns to look out for in the future. But in the end, people are unpredictable. We Earthlings have wildly divergent ideas about what "friend" means, and it's not uncommon to learn that way, way too late. You weren't stupid or in denial - it's just part of the human condition.

Love, Columbine

[SunsetRose]

Awww, I'm so sorry you are going through that. Lots of hugs your way and Rosie sends a big slobbery kiss and a head nudge

We've all probably been stabbed in the back at least once in our life. I've been backstabbed more than once and it really is upsetting.

The best thing is just to forgive them and try to move on. You can't go through life refusing to trust somebody because your afraid of being backstabbed. That would be a sad, lonely, miserable life to live. You never realize how many opportunities you miss in life because your too busy being worried about the consequences or to afraid of being hurt again. Somebody wronged you, but you can't let that bring you down.

[wombat2u2004]

I was recently stabbed in the back by someone I had thought was my friend for years. I'm too trusting a person and this has often come back to haunt me. How do you handle it?

How do I handle that ???? Thats simple....I live by the doctrine that there are people worth knowing and people NOT worth knowing.
If I'm stabbed in the back, then I slot that person into the latter catergory, and then they are NEVER allowed back in.
It's a simple rule.....and it works for me.
Wombat

[Rachel]

This is not a wound that heals easily. It does take time but do your best not to let it fester. Whatever you do, don't pick at it. You probably won't and shouldn't forget but do look toward working toforgive. You probably don't want to hear that forgive thing right now and that is to be expected, but when the time is right, it can be the best thing for your own health and welfare.

[Cataholic]

I heard this along time ago, and really try to remember it, especially at a time like you are having now, Val.

The way people act is a reflection of them , not you .

For me, it is easier to recall that sentiment time and again, instead of struggling with, "what did I do wrong, why did they do this to me". There are probably 15 million reasons the person betrayed you that has nothing to do with Valerie. Nothing at all. It has everything to do with where this person was in their life.

Does this help deal with the pain? I dunno. For me, it is far easier to accept that other people are sometimes doing the only thing that they can do, at the time, for their own reasons, and not to take it so personally.

Forgive? Forget? Move on? Get over it? While life is short, so are opportunities to make 'true' friends. So, take some time, examine what happened, didn't happen, and just take some Val time to see how things plan out.

[finn's mom]

Unfortunately, I can 100% relate. And, forgiveness is the only way. It already hurts to have that happen to you, but being unforgiving only hurts YOU. It doesn't really hurt the other person, it just drags you down and holds you back. Forgetting things is oftentimes impossible. But, forgiveness is a gift. I am sorry you're going through this, as I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[moosmom]

I'd rather be a trusting person and get hurt sometimes than be suspicious of everyone and always lonely.

What a great saying! And so true too.

Val,

Don't beat yourself up over it. You're too good a person. I know how you must feel, though. To be betrayed by someone you've been friends with for so long really hurts. Just learn from it and move on. Life to way to short to hold grudges, honey.

((((((HUGS)))))))))

Donna and crew.

[Logan]

We live and learn, don't we? I'm sorry you have had such a bad experience, Val. You don't deserve it.

Just know that you will continue to be in my prayers.

Logan