Court Fight waged over brain damaged moms tripplets

[Cataholic]

When you find yourself in a hole, the first step should be put down the shovel?

YES! LOL, I have this horrible way of taking two amusing 'quotes' and combining them. They are usually funny, but not accurate.

[Taz_Zoee]

I believe every one has a right to their opinion. But in Marigolds original post (re-posted below) she is not just stating an opinion. She is saying these people should think she the way she does and that's it! They are not her and obviously do not share her way of thinking. That is what bothered me about this to begin with. I have read each post since then and think it's fine that she has her opinion. But to be so harsh with the first post and act like every one should have the same thoughts she does was just not okay.

And I'm going to say again......if the father had let the children see their mother from the beginning there would be nothing scary about her to them.

Oh my gosh are you kidding me? The mom is a veggie salad. The kids do not need to see or be exposed to a veggie. She is incapable of giving them any love, attention, support.................
Yes I feel sorry for her, but it's over, the cards have been dealt. Now the husbend and the kids need to forge ahead and make a normal life for themselves and grandma and grandpa should put daughter in a nursing home and get on with their lives.
If that was me I would not want my children to dwell on what has happened to me, I would want them to go ahead and enjoy their lives to the fullest. Life is for the living and is to be enjoyed.
I have told all of my kids, if I stroke out enjoy life, every precious second and don't fret about me. My time has passed, it's ok to be happy and do your thing.

[Marigold2]

Since you posted my first post, please look at what I said.
If it was me............... I would want my children to get on with their lives.
No one commented on this. No one said she really must love her kids to give up their love and affection so that they could live full lives.

No one commented on living wills or DNR orders which can be in the same catagory as veggie or coma. Yet most of us do not want to be hooked on to machines and have our families see us like this nor do we want to live like a veggie on a machine. Many of us would rather die.

As for digging a hole, yes I dug and found myself covered in many peoples mucky words, trying to make me the bad guy when as I said in my first post I would give up my life so I would not be a burden to my family, my friends, or the medical system.

By the way I found some diamonds while I dug and I am not sharing them.

[Catty1]

Just curious, Marigold - what would you do if this happened to your daughter - or even husband? Not if it happened to you...if it happened to someone else in your family.

[pomtzu]

Just curious, Marigold - what would you do if this happened to your daughter - or even husband? Not if it happened to you...if it happened to someone else in your family.

You should go back and read the thread from the start to get the full picture.

I already asked her this and got a non-sensicle answer after continual prodding. She was more interested in turning the issue toward herself (what people should do if SHE was in this position), than answering what she would do if HER DAUGHTER was the one that was stricken. Of course, in the end, it boiled down to her wanting to play God!!!!!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

By the way I found some diamonds while I dug and I am not sharing them

Going to allow myself a little titter at that one - methinks there is a sense of humour lurking there somewhere. As for the rest well I still think in this case the kiddies should know their mum - how I would feel if anything happened to me or my daughter is a whole different issue

[Marigold2]

Cathy my answer to your question is in 37. I answered as best I could. It is a very gray area.............It would really depend on what the Dr's say and my daughters wishes, which I happen to know. She would not like to live as a veggie. I had this discussion with my family because of our mothers, both Steve and mine. Seeing what happened to them, feeling that pain................ Well we all talked about it so that if it happens to any one of us we would know what to do.
As for playing God we all do that. When we have a child we start a life that is playing God. When we decide to end a fetus life we play God.
If we have to go to war and kill another being we play God. If we put DNR on our papers or make a living will we play God. And I believe also when we bring any animal into this world we play God as well for they are his creatures too.
When someone is in so much pain and they ask for their family to end their suffering they ask us to play God, or when they take their own life.
And Dr's well they do it all day long.
It's part of life and free will which by the way God gave us. He does not stop us from killing another or killing ourselves, driving drunk, taking a drug overdose, shotting our girlfriend he lets it happen.
I have truly answered these questions in the best way I know how. I have been honest and laid it on the line. I have not ignored any ones questions or tried to side step. I feel I did not need to answer your questions or explain myself, this is still America and it is a free country and my family is MY business. However I answered because this is a place where one Should be able to express a thought without being
thrown in the mud and I will continue to express my feelings and thoughts, that is what makes America free and great. Agreeing with me is not the issue, learning other points of view and expanding ones thoughts should be.
There are truly some wonderful people here and I have learned a lot from them and their world and views, I think that might one of the things that makes PT so great. The animals however are always first.
One last thought, if we eat meat are we playing God?

Just curious, Marigold - what would you do if this happened to your daughter - or even husband? Not if it happened to you...if it happened to someone else in your family.

[pomtzu]

Cathy my answer to your question is in 37. I answered as best I could. It is a very gray area.............It would really depend on what the Dr's say and my daughters wishes, which I happen to know. She would not like to live as a veggie. I had this discussion with my family because of our mothers, both Steve and mine. Seeing what happened to them, feeling that pain................ Well we all talked about it so that if it happens to any one of us we would know what to do.
As for playing God we all do that. When we have a child we start a life that is playing God. When we decide to end a fetus life we play God.
If we have to go to war and kill another being we play God. If we put DNR on our papers or make a living will we play God. And I believe also when we bring any animal into this world we play God as well for they are his creatures too.
When someone is in so much pain and they ask for their family to end their suffering they ask us to play God, or when they take their own life.
And Dr's well they do it all day long.
It's part of life and free will which by the way God gave us. He does not stop us from killing another or killing ourselves, driving drunk, taking a drug overdose, shotting our girlfriend he lets it happen.
I have truly answered these questions in the best way I know how. I have been honest and laid it on the line. I have not ignored any ones questions or tried to side step. I feel I did not need to answer your questions or explain myself, this is still America and it is a free country and my family is MY business. However I answered because this is a place where one Should be able to express a thought without being
thrown in the mud and I will continue to express my feelings and thoughts, that is what makes America free and great. Agreeing with me is not the issue, learning other points of view and expanding ones thoughts should be.
There are truly some wonderful people here and I have learned a lot from them and their world and views, I think that might one of the things that makes PT so great. The animals however are always first.
One last thought, if we eat meat are we playing God?

I should have known it would only be twisted again. I might just as well beat my head against a brick wall, rather than expect a direct answer posted here.

[Marigold2]

I should have known it would only be twisted again. I might just as well beat my head against a brick wall, rather than expect a direct answer posted here.
__________________


LOL LOL Pomtzu go right ahead and beat your head against the wall, do it often until you knock some sense into your head.
You go on and on and on about me side stepping the issue, (is your head beginning to hurt yet?) what you really want is for me to say I am wrong, to agree with you. Because I do not feel that way you pester and belittle and criticize my thoughts.
If someone has a different opinion do you always try to change it to your side or else they are wrong and need to explain themselves over and over in great detail to you? Why can you not accept that their view might be right for them? I have not asked you to explain yourself. I did not feel it was right to make you try and explain such a personal choice to me over and over and then to find fault with it.
Oh yes I forgot because you are always right.
Keep banging dear.

[Lady's Human]

LOL LOL Pomtzu go right ahead and beat your head against the wall, do it often until you knock some sense into your head.
You go on and on and on about me side stepping the issue, (is your head beginning to hurt yet?) what you really want is for me to say I am wrong, to agree with you. Because I do not feel that way you pester and belittle and criticize my thoughts.
If someone has a different opinion do you always try to change it to your side or else they are wrong and need to explain themselves over and over in great detail to you? Why can you not accept that their view might be right for them? I have not asked you to explain yourself. I did not feel it was right to make you try and explain such a personal choice to me over and over and then to find fault with it.
Oh yes I forgot because you are always right.
Keep banging dear.

Not surprising, but completely and totally uncalled for.

[pomtzu]

I should have known it would only be twisted again. I might just as well beat my head against a brick wall, rather than expect a direct answer posted here.
__________________


LOL LOL Pomtzu go right ahead and beat your head against the wall, do it often until you knock some sense into your head.
You go on and on and on about me side stepping the issue, (is your head beginning to hurt yet?) what you really want is for me to say I am wrong, to agree with you. Because I do not feel that way you pester and belittle and criticize my thoughts.
If someone has a different opinion do you always try to change it to your side or else they are wrong and need to explain themselves over and over in great detail to you? Why can you not accept that their view might be right for them? I have not asked you to explain yourself. I did not feel it was right to make you try and explain such a personal choice to me over and over and then to find fault with it.
Oh yes I forgot because you are always right.
Keep banging dear.

I never tried to change your way of thinking, I was only trying to get a straight answer. So much for that act of futility.
I will say no more, other than that you will be in my prayers, with the hopes that you never find yourself in the position where you have to make a decision of the fate of one of your children, or even you husband. May God go with you and yours............

[Medusa]

Has anyone ever heard of a coma victim waking and saying "I heard your voice" Does anyone have any knowledge of this occuring?

Years ago I saw just this very thing on the Phil Donahue show. A man had been in a coma for years (I think it was 9 years but I can't be sure). He came out of the coma and aside from slight paralysis and a slight speech impediment, he was nearly as he was before the coma. He said that he was aware of what was going on around him and that he heard what people said to him. I've never forgotten that ever. My brother Chuck was in a coma and I made sure I told him that I loved him before he died. My good friend Helen was also in a coma and I went to see her quite often before she died. I talked to her just as I did before she sank into the coma. If neither of them could understand me, then they at least could feel me holding their hands, stroking their faces and telling them that I loved them. I would hope that someone would do the same for me should that ever happen to me.

[Medusa]

You are so correct. Because my mom was a concentration camp survior and lost her entire family in the war she certaintly knew the meaning of life and it's worth.
She never wanted to be one of those people who was kept alive by machines. She told me once there are worst things then death, I have never forgotten those words.
She was never bitter or mean but she did want her children to grab live by the horns and run with it, because you never know.
When she died she left a poem for my brother and I perhaps some of you know it.
Do not stand by my grave and cry I am not dead I did not die.
Even though her grave is not far from my home I take her advice and see her love in a butterfly or a flower growing.
I too have told my children don't stand by my bed if I am stricken by coma or illness, honor my love for you by being the best you can be and enjoy life to the fullest that is the greatest gift you can give me, being happy.
I had the sweetest most wonderful mom anyone can imagine, her wish for me was to always find happiness in life and that is what I do. My wacky sense of humor is part of that.
Sometimes I am very blunt about matters but I am honest. I will tell a person they look like s&*t in that dress if they ask and then help them find a dress they can feel truly pretty in instead of saying "oh you look great" and they don't.
If someone says does this outfit make me look fat? I will honestly say "yes it is because you need to lose some weight" at first they are kind of dumb struck because usually people aren't that honest but then after a few minutes they look at me and say something to the effect, "I know I am fat, I need help losing weight"
Sometimes people do get upset with my honesty but it is only because they know it is true often, not always of course but often I just blurt out what everyone is thinking. It's just me being me.

I think that you're confusing honesty w/cruelty. One can be honest w/o being hurtful. If someone asks me "Do I look fat in this dress?", I would answer w/something on the order of "It doesn't show off your best features". A small kindness can work wonders for someone's self esteem but to gut someone and call it honesty is dishonest.

[Asiel]

I should have known it would only be twisted again. I might just as well beat my head against a brick wall, rather than expect a direct answer posted here.
__________________


LOL LOL Pomtzu go right ahead and beat your head against the wall, do it often until you knock some sense into your head.
You go on and on and on about me side stepping the issue, (is your head beginning to hurt yet?) what you really want is for me to say I am wrong, to agree with you. Because I do not feel that way you pester and belittle and criticize my thoughts.
If someone has a different opinion do you always try to change it to your side or else they are wrong and need to explain themselves over and over in great detail to you? Why can you not accept that their view might be right for them? I have not asked you to explain yourself. I did not feel it was right to make you try and explain such a personal choice to me over and over and then to find fault with it.
Oh yes I forgot because you are always right.
Keep banging dear.

WOW....you are something else.

Just wanted to let you know that I was in a coma for nearly 6 weeks when I was 9yrs old and all I can say is I'm glad you weren't my mother and decide to walk away from me or pull the plug. And yes, it did take a few months of therapy to get back to my old self but I did get there. I feel sorry for your kids , they deserve better than what you seem able to give.

[caseysmom]

Asiel, I am very thankful your mother didn't give up on you. I am also very happy you had a good outcome.