Someone made a comment in the Doghouse about the 1950's and its generation and how we turned out and it got me to thinking. (Yep, I do that on occasion. )

I've been observing a trend of courtesy, manners and tradition falling by the wayside. It isn't my intention to generalize or to criticize, merely to initiate a discussion on how things have changed since I was growing up. For ex: I've noticed the familiarity in which minors speak to adults. I'm not speaking of class distinction but a manner of respect. I was raised to speak to them only when spoken to and then to call them Miss, Mr. or Mrs., never by the first name even if they said that it was permissible to do so. To this day I still call one of my parents' friend Mrs. H and never Betty, even though I'm 60 years old.

When an adult entered or left a room, girls were required to curtsy and boys to bow. Girls almost always wore dresses, even for play, although I did quite often wear shorts and halters in the summer. I had school clothes, play clothes and church clothes and once I was dressed for church, I didn't dare get my dress dirty.

We visited the sick on Sundays, took them meals that we had prepared and we prayed w/them, too. Children wouldn't dream of touching anything in someone else's home. If a dish filled w/candy was inviting, I would never help myself to the candy, even if the person gave permission, until I got "the look" from my mother. Eating in restaurants was a rare and special occasion rather than commonplace as it is today and, of course, manners were of tantamount importance. My father would ask me what I wanted and then he would order it for me. If I dared to speak w/my mouth full, burp, scratch, put my elbows on the table, etc., I was sternly lectured, whether this behavior was in public or at home.

At school girls were required to wear dresses and always carry a fresh, clean handkerchief; boys had to have shoes shined and shirts tucked in, hair neatly combed. Girls were not allowed to wear any hair ornaments other than a barrette, certainly no jewelry except a watch, tennis shoes were forbidden for both boys and girls. If we didn't "pass muster", we were sent home and told to correct our appearance. If we got into any kind of trouble in school, we got into worse trouble w/our parents. We respected our neighbors' property and were taught not to cross their lawns as a shortcut.

Some of these traditions and courtesies seem rather silly and perhaps even uptight now but when I see how some, not all, children behave today, I rather think it preferable to go back to the old ways. It's a different world now, that's for sure; technology seems to have taken over. Gone are the days of hand-written thank you notes; an email or text message has to suffice, if you even get that. One of my friends told me that her husband was upset w/their boys because they didn't send thank you notes to relatives for gifts that they had received and my friend said "Thank you notes are just so silly. They're thankful but why do they have to write notes to prove it?" To even discuss the subject w/her seemed a waste of time.

I certainly do not feel that this generation is a lost cause. We usually hear only of the bad things that take place and when we do hear of the good things that today's kids do, such a big deal is made of it. Yes, we should praise them when they demonstrate acts of selflessness but I think we place too much emphasis on self esteem and not enough on self respect. Too many kids today are loaded w/self esteem; they think more of themselves than is necessary but it appears that self respect is lacking.

I hope that this didn't sound like a rant but I do wish to begin a discussion on how my PT family feels that things have changed since you were brought up. Make no mistake, my background is a humble one. My father was a coal miner and my mother a domestic worker before she met my father and she remained a homemaker throughout her life. Our lack of money and social standing, however, didn't mean that we couldn't be respectful, courteous and mannerly to one another. Perhaps it's the British in me. LOL That said, I think I'll have another cup of tea. Thank you for reading this far. Your comments are most welcome.