What did I do to deserve this?

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I'm sorry because this is going to offend you

Please don't take offence at anything that is posted here - all the advice has been given in your best interests because there are a lot of people who are concerned about you and genuinely care......you are a good person and I hope you find the courage and strength to deal with the situation

[micki76]

Paula, you must know that nothing gets better by ignoring it, no matter what it is. However difficult, you must talk to your parents. If not them then another responsible adult in your life. Try not to be overly emotional when you do it. Be as calm and straightforward as you can be. (I know, easier said than done)

Not to excuse them in any way, but I'm certain they are stressed to the max. People do things that aren't normal when they're completely stressed out. Like you said, there's a lot going on and your suicide attempt must have freaked them out in ways I can't even imagine.

If you and your parents ignore it, it will only fester and get worse.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

[carole]

I think Micki has given you some sound advice, I certainly don't think badly of your parents, and agree with so many others, oggyflute really hit the nail on the head i think, he has experienced a similar situation with his sister and been able to open up and tell you how he felt, I am sure you parents are feeling much the same, and like Micki said when under stress and pressure people react differently and not always as we would wish them too.

It sounds like they need some help themselves in dealing with it all, and learning to trust you again, they hopefully will realise that you were in a deep dark place, that you did not want to be in, and that you saw no other option at the time, however you could help to re-assure them you no longer feel that way and would never ever contemplate such an option ever again, I think that would help them feel better too.

They are obviously mixed up and feeling an emotional pain as well, and I think in time it will get better.

You place your trust in them as well, because they sound like good people who do love you, they are just in turmoil as well.

I honestly don't think you need to get away from them at all, and I think they are being a little mis-judged by some, I still do not condone them hitting you or putting you down.

Try talking with them, leaving well alone will not change anything and it will just get worse I think if you say and do nothing at all., but only you can be the best judge of that, as you know your parents better than we do.

GOOD LUCK.

[anna_66]

Oh Paula, I'm sorry to hear about all of this and I understand that you love both your parents very much. Alot of kids are in your same situation (some that I know very well).
I know it's hard to live with and one day you will be able to leave that house of your own free will.
Until then, we are here to listen whenever you need us.
{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
Anna