Anyone spare a hug?

[catnapper]

I'm sitting here bawling thanks to a phone call by my brother. I don't know how we can go through the same childhood and come out so completely different. He just put me on the biggest guilt trip in the world and kept telling me he wasn't trying to make me upset... and I kept asking him if he wasn't trying them why was he doing such a good job?

It doesn't help that I feel awful - sore throat, dizziness, headache, congestion. So here I am bawling and making more snot than I already had

Why do I let him get to me so much? He called acting like an all-concerned brother who only wants to help me, yet somehow it felt like a "lets pick on Kim" party. I was chastised for not reaching out and telling him about my surgery... in all honestly it never occured to me to do so -- mom tells me all about him and I figured she tells him all about me. If he was that concerned about my operation he could have called to see how I was. I was chastised for not asking him about his kids.... yet he still hasn't come up to meet Cameron. He refused to see how things he does hurts (like the time he didn't come to my daughter's 13th birthday party because he prefered to stay home and watch the Eagle's playoff game -- they lost BTW) Its gotten to the point where I try to avoid communicating with him because he leaves me feeling like a worthless lump of mush.

I need a hug really bad and nobody is home to give me one

[Karen]

Sending you a big hug! And any of the Pet Talkers who have met me can vouch that when you've been hugged by a Peterson/Watts clan member - you know it!

I've got a couple of brothers, you could borrow one of them, or hey - adopt one of the Pet Talk guys as a substitute brother!

[Alysser]

I know the feeling, brothers can be a pain. (((hugs))) I hope things get better between you to. Pet the kitties and Nicki, it'll make you feel alot better.

[Ginger's Mom]

Here are some more {{{Hugs}}}. I don't have any brothers, but family members sure can push buttons no one else can, can't they?

[caseysmom]

I am sending you a great big hug okay. I was blessed with a very sweet brother thank goodness. Your brother sounds like my sister though so I can relate.

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Awww I'm sorry. ((((hugs))))

I know how you feel...I often feel that way after talking to my dad. It's tough when you care about someone but they have a way of making you feel horrible.

[Jadapit]

I'm sorry your brother brings you down! I hope you feel better soon. I have lots of hugs to spare. (((HUGS)))

[Twisterdog]

Its gotten to the point where I try to avoid communicating with him because he leaves me feeling like a worthless lump of mush.

This is the point I reached a few years ago with my siblings. It just wasn't worth it. I tried and tried, and to no good end except hurt and hard feelings for me. We can't choose our families, and though it hurts, sometimes we have to choose not to let people we simply happen to be related to through an accident of biology to hurt us anymore.

[I_luv_rusty]

(((Hugs)))) Sorry you brother has to bring you down Hope you feel better soon

[kimlovescats]

(((((((HUGS)))))))) Kim! It sounds like you have the same creeping crud that I've had a week already and still can't get cleared up. I may have to break down and go to the doctor next week.

Things are always harder to take when you aren't feeling well. Try to remember that brothers (aka men) aren't as understanding about some things!

More Hugs,
Kim

[Laura's Babies]

Some Dr. Phil reality here....

WHY do you even allow him to talk to you like that? The minute he starts to lay the guilt on you or cut you down.... tell him you don't have time for that kind of shi*, life is to short so go spread his doom and gloom somewhere else! Then politely say "GOODBYE" and hang up!... That is unless you NEED to have someone make you feel like crud and just need a reason to cry....

Your brother? SO WHAT! Who needs someone who can make you feel that way no matter what relation he is to you? The worst he can do is stop talking to you and sounds like that would be a blessing.

I say all this because I use to date a guy like him and found his cut downs amusing, his critizem of my friends was downright funny and his attempts to drag my happy mood down to his sourness was a game to me. It use to drive him nuts that no matter what he said to ruin my day, I was so darn cheerful and kept telling him how much HE had to be thankful for and what a simply beautiful day I was having... I dated him until I got bored of his little game of "doom and gloom", then I dumped him.

Your brother sounds as toxic as the guy I use to date, I got rid of that guy.... It's your life and your brother... Do you need him that bad?

(Take this as I mean it... I am not trying to be mean or hateful or bust up a happy family... I just don't understand why you put up with this... )

[moosmom]

Kim,

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

I just got home from work and thought I'd pop in.

Your brother and my brother must be related. Up until recently, the only way my brother and I could communicate was through emails, as he would always yell at me over the phone like I was a kid. He's only 5 years older than I am. It wasn't until I called him from the hospital, did he realize how serious my situation was, and that I wasn't the screw up he made me out to be all these years. I was seriously ill.

The minute he started raising his voice, Kim, I would've hung up on your brother if I were you. I simply would have told him that I would talk to him at another time when he was more civil.

I'm really sorry he made you feel so bad, and I only wish I was home so you could've called me. Remember one thing, God created good friends to apologize for bad relatives.

It's okay to love your brother but not like him very much. Believe me, I've been through it. Do NOT feel guilty, you've done nothing wrong. Your brother had no right to treat you like a verbal punching bag.

Hang in there and call me if you feel like it. I'll keep my cellphone on.

Love ya!

Donna

[jazzcat]

Big Ole ((((((hug))))))!!!!!

[K9karen]

Aw, Kimmy, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down.
There are times when I actually LET my brother upset me. I have to stop myself from starting to cry from what I deem HIS cruel, angry, nasty remarks and behavior. (Long story). We were also raised the same, equally loved and fairly. But, ya know, people develop their own personalities. If they're not willing to adapt a bit, that's their problem. I am SO getting better. I'm a grown adult. If I don't take crap from strangers, I'm sure as he** NOT going to take any from him. You need to calmly tell your brother you don't appreciate his caustic, nasty, insensitive remarks and unless he's willing to treat you with the respect you deserve, don't call. It'll be his loss.

Lots of hugs to you. my friend. Don't permit him to ruin your day. We all know how wonderful and sweet you are. Remember, it's OK to treat yourself as #1. Lord knows I'm trying! xoxox

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear that your brother gets you down. My parents are usually the same way when it comes to certain things in my life so I've learned not to ask them for their advice or opinions and I just do what I want to do and then tell them about it later and sometimes I don't even do this. They still don't even know about Ziggy Stardust yet. Lots of hugs are being sent your way. (((((HUGS)))))