Screaming dad

[wombat2u2004]

That's a really good point.

I was at the supermarket on Saturday and I heard a mom tell her child -- who was maybe 4(??)- "Thank you for not using your outside voice while we were in the store." I thought that was kind of a funny thing to say to a child, hard for him to understand, but maybe not. The store was super busy and very crowded. I like what Ikea in Schaumburg does-- they have a monitored play area within the store for kids. I wish the supermarket did.

I remember the "Ball Room" very well at Ikea. It's a great idea.
But I also remember once when my two girls were very young and were playing in it, and there was a boy bullying another little boy. The offending child was removed and his mother contacted to come get him. I can remember the mother saying to the child "Honey, you know you are not supposed to do that." Positive reinforcement ??? No way. If the child knows that whatever he chooses to do is only met with that from his mother, then he will simply do what he wants in future.
Any lesson learnt, would have been because someone actually kicked him out of that ballroom.....and NOT from his mother.
The punishment must fit the crime. It is simply the only way a child can learn a lesson. and the punishment must be meted out by the parent, no-one else.
And if you think that a "Honey, don't do that again" works better than a hard slap on the butt and a promise that there's no ball room unless ya get your act together, then yer all barking up the wrong tree.
And folks, I have PROOF of this. My own three girls are living PROOF of this.

[moosmom]

they have a monitored play area within the store for kids. I wish the supermarket did.

They did have one when I was growing up. At Motts Supermarket, it was the magazine rack!!!!

Because of the way I was raised, "spare the rod, spoil the child mentality", my daughter was never touched. I used positive reinforcement and rewards for good behavior as well. My daughter is now a beautiful, 35 year old woman about to be married to the love of her life, and becoming the stepmother to my beautiful step-grandson, Cody, who will be walking ME down the isle!!!!!

[mrspunkysmom]

For a start, it is illegal to do what you condone. It is not illegal for someone to chastise their child.

Part 1:

In the U.S. it can be. If a parent uses force to discipline their child in a public school, we are required to report the incident to child services. Not doing so can result in your teaching license being revoked in South Carolina. We are also required to report when a child tells us there is abuse in the home.

[wombat2u2004]

Part 1:

In the U.S. it can be. If a parent uses force to discipline their child in a public school, we are required to report the incident to child services. Not doing so can result in your teaching license being revoked in South Carolina. We are also required to report when a child tells us there is abuse in the home.

Well yeah, but as they say "The apple rots from the core"

[moosmom]

To this day, my mother thinks she just spanked my sister and me a bit when it was absolutely necessary.

She used to break wooden spoons over our rear ends. I had bruises from my lower back to the backs of my knees. She was still hitting me when I was in my teens. The psychological damage persists to this day--and I'm in my 50s.

Someone who hauls a kid away by the face in public has to be doing worse in private. If he did that to an adult, it would be considered assault and battery. Why is it acceptable if the victim is a child?

I'm a big fan of teaching one's children to behave. But violence is not an acceptable means.

My father's weapon of choice was his belt. And I also suffer to this day with PTSD and other psychological issues because of it. But it also taught me a great lesson that a child should not fear their parents. And that is what I've instilled in my daughter. I have ALWAYS told her she could come to me for ANYTHING, and she always has. She knows that whatever she tells me (even problems with her Dad and stepmom) will stay with me to my grave. That's the kind of bond I have always wanted with my parents but never got. Another addage of my dad's was "Don't do as I do, do as I SAY".