Originally posted by Kristl
He just told me that there are certain things about me that he can't stand and that if I will just make an attempt to try change some things, then he will be more respectful of my feelings.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a downer but this statement makes me very sad. I don't think you should have to "change" in order to earn his respect. He should be giving you respect freely, even if you drive him nuts sometimes, we all drive each other nuts sometimes. I dated a guy that started treating me that way too towards the end of the relationship. He actually didn't seem too worried at the prospect of losing me and kept getting more and more hurtful and disrespectful. I cared for him and let things go but all it did in the end was make him lose complete respect for me and at the end, he was mocking me for my persistence in trying to make things work.

My husband now, when I first started seeing him, I worried so much how he'd react when my own little quirks and problems started coming to the surface, if he'd react the same way, push me away. But over and over again, when I would express to him that I was afraid he'd change his mind about me once he experienced my problems with anxiety and mood swings (which were much worse at that time), that he would want to get away. He told me time and again that he loved me just the way I was, and would not change anything about me. He still tells me that today, almost 10 years later, when I worry about making him unhappy. I feel the same way about him. There are little quirks and things he does that sometimes drive me nuts, but I wouldn't change anything about him. That's the way it should be I think.

It just really sounds like he is not appreciating and respecting you the way you deserve. I do not think he should give you conditions in order to get his respect. I know you care for him, and I hope you can have a nice talk with him and iron out some things, but if he is unwilling to give you respect or only will give it under certain conditions, I think you should let him know that is not acceptable.. and perhaps rethink the relationship. It is not easy.. I knew with my first boyfriend that he was not treating me right, but it was so hard to let go.

{{hugs}} to you.