Foxgal, my goddaughter is 15 and a bit slow too. She tested just 1 point above mentally retarded way back in elementary school.My Aunt decided that her daughter "wasn't that way" and shoved her into regular school and refused to allow her to have and IEP for teachers to make accomodations for her. Long story short, the girl is now a teenager, and instad of being in a safe school for other kids like her, she is in a school filled with kids one step from jail. We KNOW she's fooling around with the boys. We are quite frankly surprised she's not already pregnant because she is obsessed with babies. I agree with you: if she was to become pregnant, it would be mostly mom's fault, not her's. She has never been taught the hows and whys - she just knows it feels good and it is what people do. Thats IT. NOTHING else about sex - the consequences ending in pregnancy or disease. Not the emotional consequences either.

Now, with my step kids... I met them when the oldest was 14, the youngest was 10. I was simply stunned at the knowledge they all had about sex. It made me VERY uncomfortable that a 10 year old didn't have complete innocence regarding sex or male anatomy. BUT years later, I see that 10 year old is now 15 and dating a sweet boy. We know that if he ever tried to push her into sex that she'd slug him one in the gut. We've discussed it, and she realizes she wants more in life than pregnant in highschool or college (which is how hubby dearest didn't graduate - his son came into being) I know when she is lying (she is a BAAAAD liar) and I know she is serious about remaining a virgin til at least college.

Same with my now 18 year old son and his girlfriend. They've been dating for over two years now and he gets a lot of jokes from his friends but they have both decided that their sports and education are far too important to gamble away for sex. Hubby apparently knew what he was doing all those years ago to teach them about sex - the whys and hows - and that "yes its fun and wonderful, but not SO fun and wonderful to risk your life and dreams for it." Hubby has taught them that sex is like Russian Roullette -- its powerful and a big rush, but one of these times you'll get the bullet. My kids know all too well that the bullet is in the chamber and don't want to risk getting it and putting their dreams on hold to raise a child.