A dear friend of mine had a not-good relationship with her mother. She then decided to one day just change the way she thought about her. She told me, "It makes it a lot easier if I just think of her as my wacko aunt. I still "call" her my mother, but just pretend she's only some vague relation."

I am sorry your mom is not what you'd want in a mother figure. Try ignoring her as best you can, know in your heart it is not your fault. Even if she seems to hate you - that's not YOUR fault. It's her problem.

This is important: YOU cannot make her happy. She is the only one who can make herself happy. It's not your responsibility. Believe me!

Know that you are a seperate person from her. Know that there are people in this world who will love you and respect you. Look around in your life for other adult female mentors, and take each of their best qualities to invent yourself a "mom." Are your grandmothers alive/around/available? Any "good" aunts?