I'm irked.

[catfancier]

Funny how people think it is their right to butt into your life - especially when it's such a personal issue! Maybe just tell them that you don't feel comfortable discussing it with them and you would rather talk about something else. If they can't respect that, then walk away.
I was a breastfed baby, my older brother was raised on the bottle, and we both have good relationships with our mum. (Shane's was quite rocky for a long time, but he may be closer to her than I am now!)
I hope all works out and you get the support you need and deserve no matter what decision you make.

[AmberLee]

{{{Tonya}}}

Some people should just mind their own business. Hang in there.

[Laura's Babies]

A great response would be " I am so tired of people beating that dead horse to death!" and turn and walk away. Don't let their rudeness get you down or make you feel bad, they do not LIVE in your body so who are they to decide things for you?

[K9soul]

I'm also amazed at how nosy and intrusive people can be on such personal issues. I've never had a child and am not planning on having children, but even if I did, I cannot even imagine telling someone else how they need to raise their child. If I had a child and if they ASKED me advice/opinions, that is different. I can understand why you feel so aggravated.

[trayi52]

Tonya, that is your decision to make. I have had three children, the first one I tried to breast feed, but I just couldn't. I raised him and his sister on a bottle. They both done just fine! They grew up to be fine adults, now with children of their own! All without breast feeding. Now, I did breast feed my daughter Lindsey, she was my last, I was in my thirtys, and just wanted the experience of breastfeeding. She is now almost 19, LOL, she is a fine young lady too.

The point being, I bonded with all my children, I love all of them, and bonded with all of them. Of course, Lindsey is my baby, big baby, huh?

Just do what you want to do, you have already experienced what its like to breast feed, so don't worry about what other people say! Do what you feel like doing, bottle feeding gives dad a chance to bond with the baby too!

Willie

[DJFyrewolf36]

Sheesh, how RUDE!!

Ugh I hate how everyone loves to be a backseat parent, especially when they don't have kids! I wasn't breastfed because I was alergic to breast milk. The doctor told my mom that if I was breast fed, I'd die! My brother was the same way. We both turned out quite alright, and have a great relationship with our mom so I don't think she was too terrible

My nephew was a big eater. My SIL lasted about two weeks trying to breast feed him. It just wasn't working for her. Every child is different. Everyone has unique experences with thier kids, I think thats why it's such a special thing for most people. If kids were predictable, life would be really boring!

[Logan]

I am appalled that people (especially a man) would feel it necessary to intrude on your personal decision like that! It's none of their business, and if it makes it easier, just say "yes", and they wouldn't know the difference anyway!

I loved breast feeding my one and only child, but it was always awkward for me. I was not one who could lie in the bed like many moms and feed my child, nor was I ever comfortable in a public setting. And I went back to work after 5 weeks, and ended up sitting in a chair in the bathroom at work, pumping away. It was embarassing for me in the long run to have to do that! But I did it, and enjoyed those quiet times with Helen when I was with her. But I would have been just as comfortable snuggling with her and a bottle, I'm sure! At 4 months old, she became bored and wanted to look around and see the world and completely lost interest in "bonding" with her mom! So, we quit, and it was sad for me.

I have to tell you this funny story, though. While I was still out on maturnity leave, I went to a La Leche (sp?) League meeting with my next door neighbor, who had a baby a short while before I did. OMG!!!! There were so many women there, with all these kids running here and there. And I about DIED when I saw a 3 years old go pull up his mother's shirt and start "feeding", right in the middle of meeting! I am such a prude. I thought it was horrible, and I never went to another meeting!!!

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Logan
I am appalled that people (especially a man) would feel it necessary to intrude on your personal decision like that! It's none of their business, and if it makes it easier, just say "yes", and they wouldn't know the difference anyway!

I loved breast feeding my one and only child, but it was always awkward for me. I was not one who could lie in the bed like many moms and feed my child, nor was I ever comfortable in a public setting. And I went back to work after 5 weeks, and ended up sitting in a chair in the bathroom at work, pumping away. It was embarassing for me in the long run to have to do that! But I did it, and enjoyed those quiet times with Helen when I was with her. But I would have been just as comfortable snuggling with her and a bottle, I'm sure! At 4 months old, she became bored and wanted to look around and see the world and completely lost interest in "bonding" with her mom! So, we quit, and it was sad for me.

I have to tell you this funny story, though. While I was still out on maturnity leave, I went to a La Leche (sp?) League meeting with my next door neighbor, who had a baby a short while before I did. OMG!!!! There were so many women there, with all these kids running here and there. And I about DIED when I saw a 3 years old go pull up his mother's shirt and start "feeding", right in the middle of meeting! I am such a prude. I thought it was horrible, and I never went to another meeting!!!

Haha, I had a cousin who breastfed her kid until he was 4 or 5 (at least it felt like it was that long, I could be wrong.) Call me a prude, but I think that's disgusting. When the child is old enough to verbally ask his mom for a boob, it's time to quit.

[carole]

Guess I am a prude too , logan and Tonya, My SIL feed her child till he was about 3 or 4, and I wasn't too keen on it, but maybe we are just being as bad as those who judge us on breast-feeding, just a thought.

Everyone tells you , it helps get your body back in shape, for me it was the opposite, I was so darn hungry the whole time I gained at least a stone, so that was the downside of Breast-feeding for me, and also I was not at all comfortable doing it in public, so I hardly went out with my daughter for those 16mths, and I would always go upstairs if visitors other than my mother or sister arrived..

I think its great Tonya that you have so much support here on this one, just goes to show we are not such a judgemental lot after all, lol.

Regardless I am happy that I managed to feed her myself, and I guess society has made me feel less so and a failure for not for my son,that's what pressure does, we should be proud either way, if they are healthy and well taken care of , and loved that is all that counts.

[popcornbird]

First of all, I think its none of anyone's business to tell you what to do when it comes to feeding your child. You already know the pros and cons of breastfeeding, and you know what you went through last time. Its your decision...none of anyone else's business. You will do what's best for your child and yourself. I'm surprised someone would even think of talking to your husband about this......especially a MAN!!! That is so wrong!

Second....wow...I never knew your body would even continue to produce milk for 3-4 years after having a child. Personally, I think its really weird to breastfeed a child past the age of 2. Once they can eat everything, they just don't need that milk anymore. I don't think breastfeeding a child with all his/her teeth would be a very pleasant experience for the mother either.

[Tina]

I bottle fed both of my girls. Both of them have a really close bond with me. Neither of them have been sick very much. Kaitlynn is almost 5 years old and has been sick maybe 4 or 5 times. I know of a mother that breast feeds and her son had a lot of ear infections. Maegan is almost a year old and has been sick 1 or 2 times.

I really wouldn't care what over people think.

[moosmom]

Tell everyone to mind their own business!!! Do what you feel is right for you and your baby.

[catland]

I once saw a really sad episode of Law and Order where a young mother had starved her child to death because she wasn't able to properly breastfeed but whenever she went for help she was told to not use a bottle but that "breast is best". Knowing that these shows are often based on true stories, I found it to be probably one of the saddest episodes that they ever had.

There is definately a fanatical fringe that has a zero tolerance for bottle feeding. You just need to come up with a snappy comeback that will leave them so shocked that they'll stop bothering you.

I don't know, maybe something like, "breast feeding will infect my nipple ring"

[Cataholic]

I feel somewhat compelled to answer. Tonya- this isn't directed towards you, rather, towards anyone that might be reading this thread, and has become discouraged by it. I respect your decision not to breastfeed. I will also tell you I would do nearly anything I could to support you, should you change your mind.

Jonah is 8 weeks old, this Tuesday. I am still breastfeeding. I have a pump, loaned to me by my girlfriend, and intend to breastfeed as long as I can. I hope this means to Jonah's first birthday. I have a supportive work place, an office with a door, and a fridge/sink- not in a bathroom. So, really, I have it 'easy' that way.

Now, let me tell you where I have been. I have been to 3 lactation consultants. 3. I have been to a lactation MD (yes, there is such a thing), I have been on antibiotics, anti-fungals, probiotics, used cremes, lotions, pads, Jonah has had a minor procedure (he was tongue tied, slightly), he has been on medication, too. I have spent many, many hours on the phone with 6 or so very close people, crying, talking, trying to figure out what is wrong. I have cried while Jonah nursed. I have pumped for 2 weeks straight, then bottle fed him the milk. Talk about time consuming....it was nearly ALL that I did.

I would make 'deals' with my mom and my friends.."if it isn't better by 5 weeks, I will quit".."if this doctor doesn't bring relief, I will quit"....if 6 weeks...you get it.

I have read 100s of pages, done research (yeah, in all my spare time, right?), cut out little sayings, prayed about it, you name it.

Guess what? After the 6th week- it turned. It didn't get any worse. That was the BEST I could say. Now, nearly 8 weeks out, I can say on a scale of 1/10...I am at a 1. Thank God. It was just as everyone told me- "it just gets better, and then you are home free". I am so glad I didn't quit. I have read and heard that most women quit because of the pain. I know. I have been right there.

For me, and Jonah, it is the right choice. I nearly cry sometimes when I look down at him nursing. For me, it is priceless. For me, it is the 'right' thing to do. Fortunately, I don't have a private or shy bone in my body. Breastfeeding in public will be no big deal. I am still not yet at that point....I still need to make sure we are positioned 'just so'. I have limited my sessions to my house, my parent's houses, and in the car. But, I will get up to speed soon.
All I want to do is encourage anyone that wants to do it, in any way that I can. That is what I had happen for me. I want to return the favor somehow.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Cataholic
I feel somewhat compelled to answer. Tonya- this isn't directed towards you, rather, towards anyone that might be reading this thread, and has become discouraged by it. I respect your decision not to breastfeed. I will also tell you I would do nearly anything I could to support you, should you change your mind.

Jonah is 8 weeks old, this Tuesday. I am still breastfeeding. I have a pump, loaned to me by my girlfriend, and intend to breastfeed as long as I can. I hope this means to Jonah's first birthday. I have a supportive work place, an office with a door, and a fridge/sink- not in a bathroom. So, really, I have it 'easy' that way.

Now, let me tell you where I have been. I have been to 3 lactation consultants. 3. I have been to a lactation MD (yes, there is such a thing), I have been on antibiotics, anti-fungals, probiotics, used cremes, lotions, pads, Jonah has had a minor procedure (he was tongue tied, slightly), he has been on medication, too. I have spent many, many hours on the phone with 6 or so very close people, crying, talking, trying to figure out what is wrong. I have cried while Jonah nursed. I have pumped for 2 weeks straight, then bottle fed him the milk. Talk about time consuming....it was nearly ALL that I did.

I would make 'deals' with my mom and my friends.."if it isn't better by 5 weeks, I will quit".."if this doctor doesn't bring relief, I will quit"....if 6 weeks...you get it.

I have read 100s of pages, done research (yeah, in all my spare time, right?), cut out little sayings, prayed about it, you name it.

Guess what? After the 6th week- it turned. It didn't get any worse. That was the BEST I could say. Now, nearly 8 weeks out, I can say on a scale of 1/10...I am at a 1. Thank God. It was just as everyone told me- "it just gets better, and then you are home free". I am so glad I didn't quit. I have read and heard that most women quit because of the pain. I know. I have been right there.

For me, and Jonah, it is the right choice. I nearly cry sometimes when I look down at him nursing. For me, it is priceless. For me, it is the 'right' thing to do. Fortunately, I don't have a private or shy bone in my body. Breastfeeding in public will be no big deal. I am still not yet at that point....I still need to make sure we are positioned 'just so'. I have limited my sessions to my house, my parent's houses, and in the car. But, I will get up to speed soon.
All I want to do is encourage anyone that wants to do it, in any way that I can. That is what I had happen for me. I want to return the favor somehow.

That is wonderful that you stuck it out and it is working for you. I hope that my thread doesn't discourage others from breastfeeding...I do know plenty of people who did it and were very successful. I know breastfeeding isn't a negative experience for everyone. You have my upmost respect for being able to do it.