Oh Anna! I'm just getting caught up and just saw this. I'm sooo sorry!

I know exactly what you're going through! My parents were in a bad car accident about 3 1/2 years ago (Sept 29, 1999 to be exact). They were in a Jeep Grand Cherokee and it ended up rolling over into the ditch. My dad, being the stubborn old man (sounds like your dad might have some of these similar traits ) wouldn't wear his seatbelt. He was thrown into the back seat. My mom, who was wearing her seat belt, was left hanging upside down until help came.

We got the call Sunday evening. My mom had a broken knee and bumps and bruises. My dad, on the other hand, didn't fair quite so well. When I got the call Sunday night, they didn't know if he was going to make it or not. He had a fractured pelvis, cracked ribs, had cracked his head on the B-pillar of the vehicle and most importantly - he had internal bleeding that they hadn't been able to stop all day.

....so anyway, I keep getting off track....they ended up in different hospitals because they had to air lift my dad to a major trauma center in Duluth, MN. My one brother and I headed up by my mom as soon as we could (7-8 hour driver from Chicago). My dad's brothers and sisters went up to see him right away, so we went to my mom first. By this time my dad was stable, but not totally out of the woods. But he was really out of it because of the bump on his head.

...ok, the point I'm trying to make is, go now. If at all possible, go back when your mom has the surgery, but definitely go now. I see you're planning on going Monday. I'm glad because even though your mom might talk ok on the phone, and your dad seems to be ok, they need you right now - more than they probably know themselves.

I spent as much time as I could with them, and my boss was sooo nice and extremely accomodating which really helped. Now that it's been a few years, it turns out my dad doesn't remember anything of the first 3 weeks he was in the hospital. He doesn't remember the accident at all, and barely remembers that morning. I'm sure he's subconciously blocking it out, but I'm also sure that subconsciously he knows we were there. My mom was so grateful to have us there. If for nothing else but to distract her so she didn't just sit in hospital bed thinking about what had just happened. After they got home, I went up as often as possible (3 hour drive) just to be there and help however I could.

They both have lingering effects/pain from the accident, but are otherwise doing quite well.

Buying them helmets, or at the very minimum, stressing that they must wear helmets from now on would be a good thing. If we can get my stubborn dad to wear a seat belt (and we did get him to! Hooray! ) you should be able to get your mom and dad to wear helmets.

After I saw what a bump on the head can do - from inside a car! - I started wearing my helmt when I rode my motorcycle. However, just the whole experience of seeing them in the hospital, my dad being loony for awhile, and other various factors - I gave up riding my motorcyle and it is now for sale. I think the main reason behind that is because I know what I went through when they were in the hospital, and I would never want them to have to go through that if something happened to me on the bike.

It's all very sad, and I now just about break out into tears anytime I hear of a major accident where people are seriously hurt. I hope and pray everything turns out well for your parents, and they have no lingering/long term effects from the accident.

Big, big {{{hugs}}} to you. Go be with them. They need it and you need it too.

Sorry this is so long, but I tend to rattle on when it comes to my parents' accident. It was really quite the traumatic time for them, but also for me and my brothers and we're all still recuperating emotionally from it.