How to intervene when its unwanted?

[krazyaboutkatz]

I used to watch the show "Intervention" a lot. In these cases even though the addict either didn't think that they had a problem or they just didn't want to stop, most of the time the family and the person in charge of the intervention could talk the person into checking themselves into rehab. Some times it still didn't work but many times it did and they had a new outlook on life. Some times the addict knows that they need help but they just don't want to ask for it. If you could form a family intervention and maybe get an intervention specialist also involved and have a plan for the addict to get help then maybe just maybe the addict would say yes to the help. Good luck.

[Karen]

I used to watch the show "Intervention" a lot. In these cases even though the addict either didn't think that they had a problem or they just didn't want to stop, most of the time the family and the person in charge of the intervention could talk the person into checking themselves into rehab. Some times it still didn't work but many times it did and they had a new outlook on life. Some times the addict knows that they need help but they just don't want to ask for it. If you could form a family intervention and maybe get an intervention specialist also involved and have a plan for the addict to get help then maybe just maybe the addict would say yes to the help. Good luck.

Did they ever do "A year later" followup with any of the people? I wonder if the people who went through an intervention stuck with it long term?

My church has a huge commitment to all the "A" groups, and our building is where there are meetings just about every day and night of the week. As a Methodist church, everyone knows there is no alcohol allowed on the premises, so it feels like a safer place for them. The stories told would break your heart, and it is great to see people thriving again on the other side of addiction.

[kitten645]

Agreed with all except one suggestion. Reality shows are not real. Intervention is for the sake of drama. Or feeding on the desperation on the part of family members. I believe a VERY small percentage stick to it. You can't force people to change. I believe the reason for many failed marriages is the notion that you can change or "fix" someone.
No one changes unless they want to change. This is true of addictions, weight issues, emotional issues etc. You only loose weight when you decide it's time for a change. Same with drinking.
Living with a destructive relative, you have two options. They can be miserable or you can be miserable with them. You need to focus your energy on Cameron and shielding him as much as possible from this destructive behaviour. Intervention isn't going to work and will only reinforce their notions that it's you and not them.
Move on and focus on better relations with your loved ones.

[moosmom]

When I first got sober, I had to change EVERYTHING. My lifestyle, the people I hung out with (who said I wouldn't be fun anymore if I didn't drink).

It's a big change. It won't happen overnight. But like everyone here said, unless the family member ADMITS they have a problem and wants help, all you can do is sit back and pray.

[catnapper]

We had a huge family meeting yesterday with most of the family (excluding one person of course) and its the general concensus that they are in big trouble but will NOT listen to anyone, and their reaction is to hurt themself when cornered. They have soooo many people in their history that was GOOD for them and they cut ties once they realized the person was trying to eanact positive change.

Another family member just admitted a drinking problem two or three months ago and is seeking help. They quit their job, moved in with another family member's basement, and cut ties from all friends. This family member is completely lost but knows they have to start from somewhere. They have no idea what they want to do now that they are sober. Going back to school? Staying in the area or moving out of state? so on..... and they are the biggest voice for not confronting the relative. They said the other is not ready and it would be catastrophic because this person's answer to everything is to "punish" people by withdrawling and pushing away at the exact time they need people to help.

I understand the whole concept of enabling. I struggle with it for my husband who has PTSD. Am I enabling him to stay home and hide from the worlkd or am I helping him cope with life? Its an answer the therapist helps us solve. Since I have nothing to do with this family member, I am confident I'm not enabling them! I wish I could say the same thing for hte rest of the family. Some people are huge enablers, others not so much.