How to intervene when its unwanted?

[Catty1]

Check out Al-Anon meetings. They are for friends and relatives of someone with a drinking problem. There you can hear how others handle the same situations.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

[moosmom]

Kim,

Take it from someone whose been in recovery for over 18 years...until your family member hits rock bottom, there's not a lot you can do.

I tried to get my Dad, who was also a serious alcoholic, to quit. After my stepmonster passed away, he gave up his will to live. I threatened, consulted a lawyer, offered to take him to AA meeting, even quit my job to help him through it. The arguments got ugly and I just quit trying. He lived and died by the bottle.

I'm afraid you are in between a rock and a hard place, I'm sorry to say.

You have my number. Call me anytime.

and hugs,

Donna

[Freedom]

As already stated, there is nothing you or anyone can do -- except that person. Until the person sees an issue, nothing is going to change.

Family and friends will find it difficult to watch. They will also feel at times, a need to step in an "help" by preventing an eviction, for example. Don't do it. If the person has to land on the streets before realizing (and some do while others don't go quite that far) then so be it. Again, not something you want to watch, but you have no control in this situation.

[moosmom]

WORD, Freedom!!!

[Asiel]

Have to agree with everyone else on this suject--Unless the person cares about themselves enough to really get serious and want to quit there isn't a lot another person can do.

[Scooter's Mom]

My grandfather was an alcoholic. He had accidents, got tickets, woke up in strange places, and many WORSE things over his lifetime.
He never admitted he had a problem. He was admitted to the hospital several times to "dry out" but it never stuck. Because as soon as he got out, his drinking buddies came around again and because he thought he didn't have a problem, he hung out with them and the cycle started all over again.

The times he wasn't drinking were happy times. The rest, stuff of nightmares for many.

As everyone else has said - the person with the problem has to admit they have a problem and want to fix it before anything can be done about it.
It's hard to watch someone you love self-destruct. Sometimes it's all you can do.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I used to watch the show "Intervention" a lot. In these cases even though the addict either didn't think that they had a problem or they just didn't want to stop, most of the time the family and the person in charge of the intervention could talk the person into checking themselves into rehab. Some times it still didn't work but many times it did and they had a new outlook on life. Some times the addict knows that they need help but they just don't want to ask for it. If you could form a family intervention and maybe get an intervention specialist also involved and have a plan for the addict to get help then maybe just maybe the addict would say yes to the help. Good luck.