My cat hates my husband :(

[isobel]

We have talked about him feeding her on a more consistent basis, but I hadn't thought about having him just sit quietly with her. It's hard to convince my husband to do these things as he doesn't really like having to change his own behavior for an animal, and he's to the point where he generally just doesn't want to be around her because of her reaction to him. But I'll see if he'd be willing to try your suggestion. Thanks!

[happylabs]

We have talked about him feeding her on a more consistent basis, but I hadn't thought about having him just sit quietly with her. It's hard to convince my husband to do these things as he doesn't really like having to change his own behavior for an animal, and he's to the point where he generally just doesn't want to be around her because of her reaction to him. But I'll see if he'd be willing to try your suggestion. Thanks!

I'd get rid of the husband and keep the cat. LOL! Just kidding...

Sounds like she can sense he isn't all that fond of her.

[lizbud]

It's hard to convince my husband to do these things as he doesn't really like having to change his own behavior for an animal,

Look at it from Izzy's point of view. Two strangers (man & cat) come
into "her" house and she is banished to a room alone. The man makes no
effort to befriend her & possibly even shows his dislike for her by his daily
attitude towards her. (animals pick up on human fellings very easily) If I
were Izzy, I'd be ready to pack my bags. Her house is not her own anymore.

[isobel]

Well, that's not entirely accurate. He has spent the last two years trying to be nice to her, but if he gets anywhere near her hackles go up and sometimes her reaction is borderline violent. She will sometimes let him pet her, but even after him doing this repeatedly (two years, but on an inconsistent basis because we didn't live together) she hasn't let her guard down at all. So understandably on his part, he's a little fed up with the whole situation, and it would be more fair to say that he can sense she isn't too fond of him. He never did anything to purposely upset her, and has made an effort to show her he's her friend, but she simply refuses to "forgive" him.

I do feel guilty about "banishing" her to a room, but if I let her out she makes a beeline for the bedroom, hides under the bed indefinitely, and poops there which is really difficult to clean up. Either that or she hides in her litter box and gets filthy. So, this seems like the best compromise for now, although it isn't ideal.

[happylabs]

Well, that's not entirely accurate. He has spent the last two years trying to be nice to her, but if he gets anywhere near her hackles go up and sometimes her reaction is borderline violent. She will sometimes let him pet her, but even after him doing this repeatedly (two years, but on an inconsistent basis because we didn't live together) she hasn't let her guard down at all. So understandably on his part, he's a little fed up with the whole situation, and it would be more fair to say that he can sense she isn't too fond of him. He never did anything to purposely upset her, and has made an effort to show her he's her friend, but she simply refuses to "forgive" him.

I do feel guilty about "banishing" her to a room, but if I let her out she makes a beeline for the bedroom, hides under the bed indefinitely, and poops there which is really difficult to clean up. Either that or she hides in her litter box and gets filthy. So, this seems like the best compromise for now, although it isn't ideal.

There is a show on Animal Planet called "My Cat from Hell". The host, Jackson Galaxy, is a miracle worker with cats. I am wondering if you can contact him somehow. I saw the show where he took a completely feral cat and turned it into a loving sweetheart of a cat. Here is the link to his page:

http://animal.discovery.com/the-spot...from-hell.html

[isobel]

Hmm, that's an interesting idea. I have heard of Jackson Galaxy but haven't seen his show. I've toyed with the idea lately of consulting an animal communicator, so maybe I'll see if JG does private consultations (although I'm guessing he would charge a lot.)

I started putting Bach Rescue Remedy in Izzy's water, so maybe that combined with the Feliway will eventually start to help.

Thanks for your constructive ideas. Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up and saying "Why can't we all just get along?!" But I'm trying to remain hopeful that there is a solution.

[moosmom]

Cats have a keen sense of knowing when someone isn't a "cat person". I had the same problem with my Dad's RB cat Jessie. No matter what I did, feed her, try, as hard as I might to pet her, toss her treats, she would sit there and hiss at me, her tail all puffed out, growling. I was NOT a cat person at that time in my life. In fact, I couldn't stand cats (hard to believe, huh??) back then. I grew up with dogs. So, I just fed her, cleaned out her litterbox and left her alone. It was a long week, but we both survived. I'm SURE it had a lot to do with the fact that she was in MY apartment, not in her own environment. I didn't know any better.

You got some great advice here. Try the Bach's Rescue Remedy and Feliway and make your husband feed her and toss her treats everyday. The only thing I can add is patience. She was there first, please keep that in mind. Cats do NOT like change, and this is a BIG change in her life.

Is it POSSIBLE that he could've accidentally stepped on her paw, tail or she got under foot and he tripped over her??? Just a thought.

Please don't give up.

[isobel]

Hubby is a cat person (he has a cat), but he doesn't baby his cats the way I do. I talk in baby talk and treat Izzy really gently, while he has a deep voice and more gruff demeanor. I think this might be part of the problem, but his efforts to speak in baby talk, etc. just don't work.

I'm pretty sure he did do something to inadvertently traumatize her, but it was so long ago that we are at a loss as to why she can't seem to get over it.

Don't worry, I won't give up. The situation's just gotten more stressful now that we all live together, and I'm desperate to figure out a way to make it better. But patience is probably the best approach.