For wombat - Aussie jokes

[carole]

He He Wom, yes Wom i have been to Sydney, but that was like when i was about 20, which is a very long time ago, however i loved it,beautiful city, was only there on a shopping three day trip with the Navy Civilians and Navy staff, i was an office worker at the Naval Base here then,and they put on these cheap trips, i was lucky enough to score one very cheap, as the person could not go, got it for less than the price of the accomodation, including my flights, i remember we had to stay in Kings Cross, as our other hotel had some water damage, or something like that,now Wom being a very naive 20 yr old, Kings Cross was surely an eye opener for me.

My extended family are regular visitors to the Gold Coast Queensland,and i am hoping one day to make it over there for a holiday,gorgeous place.

Have friends in Bunbury,and perth,so Wom what part are you from again?

[wombat2u2004]

He He Wom, yes Wom i have been to Sydney, but that was like when i was about 20, which is a very long time ago, however i loved it,beautiful city, was only there on a shopping three day trip with the Navy Civilians and Navy staff, i was an office worker at the Naval Base here then,and they put on these cheap trips, i was lucky enough to score one very cheap, as the person could not go, got it for less than the price of the accomodation, including my flights, i remember we had to stay in Kings Cross, as our other hotel had some water damage, or something like that,now Wom being a very naive 20 yr old, Kings Cross was surely an eye opener for me.

My extended family are regular visitors to the Gold Coast Queensland,and i am hoping one day to make it over there for a holiday,gorgeous place.

Have friends in Bunbury,and perth,so Wom what part are you from again?

Ahhhh....the Cross eh ???? That place is an eye opener even for the most seasoned Aussies to. I've been there many times, and reckon I have a decent story about each time....hee hee....it's a wild place alright.
I have a photo that was taken circa 1971 of myself and my fiance at "Les Girls" at the Cross.......don't laugh....she was a Kiwi...HAH !!!! I'll get it scanned and posted for you to see.

I'm in Armidale, the highest city in Oz, up on the New England plateau in north eastern NSW. It's a great place to live, no industry here, it's a regional education and pastoral city....lots of private colleges and a pretty big university. So the population varies a lot during schools in/schools out times.
People say it's the best place in Oz to bring up kids....I'd have to agree with that.

Yeah, get yourself up to the Gold Coast, that's a cool place, lots to do up there.

[wombat2u2004]

The New Zealand Navy in Action

[Grace]

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France)

A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

[wombat2u2004]

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
_______________________________________________


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France)

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

Hee hee. They are all very funny, thanks for sending them.
But I can imagine the questions that are asked, and the crazy Aussie answers given....it must happen all of the time.
I can remember selling our spare army slouch hats to GI's in Vietnam, we told them they were made out of kangaroo feather felt. And I had a mate who swapped a pair of our boots (they are leather, but he told the yank they were toughened Emu skin) for a jeep.
I don't know how we ever kept straight faces doing stuff like that, but we did...hee hee.

[carole]

Ah wom i love the ewe boat cartoon,awesome matey, i must check it out on line where you live, it sounds really nice,well it is like this wom if i did not have three cats, i probably could have afforded several trips over to the gold coast, so i guess i am stuck here for some time yet, but who knows i might win the lottery, not that i take a ticket very often,so my chances are not that good, i worked out by the time all cats have left for the rainbow bridge, cost wise, i probably could have bought a brand new car, can you believe that, oh well they are worth it, material things are just that material,nice to have both though i reckon, lol.

[wombat2u2004]

Ah wom i love the ewe boat cartoon,awesome matey, i must check it out on line where you live, it sounds really nice,well it is like this wom if i did not have three cats, i probably could have afforded several trips over to the gold coast, so i guess i am stuck here for some time yet, but who knows i might win the lottery, not that i take a ticket very often,so my chances are not that good, i worked out by the time all cats have left for the rainbow bridge, cost wise, i probably could have bought a brand new car, can you believe that, oh well they are worth it, material things are just that material,nice to have both though i reckon, lol.

That's right. Ya pets are a part of the family.

[wombat2u2004]

The Aussie Animal Whisperer

Aussie "That your dog?"
Kiwi "Yep."
Aussie: "Mind if I speak to him?"
Kiwi: "My dog don't talk."
Aussie: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Kiwi: (Look of shock!)
Aussie: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (Pointing at the Kiwi...)
Dog: "Yep."
Aussie: "How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Kiwi: (Look of total disbelief)
Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Kiwi: "My horse don't talk."
Aussie: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Kiwi: (Extreme look of shock!)
Aussie: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Kiwi...)
Horse: "Yep."
Aussie: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Kiwi: (Look of total amazement)
Aussie: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Kiwi: “Yes” "Sheep lie."