Who should I get?

[tokolosh]

Jenlukenbach,

YOU hit the nail on the head. I agree that people want, what they want, WHEN they want it. That's the sad part these days. That's when pets wind up in shelters. Or dumped when the pet doesn't meet their expectations.

I should point out that I don't intend to mould anyone. If I thought I could do that you wouldn't be reading this thread. I'd just march in, grab whoever looked good to me for some shallow reason, and blame the cat for all incompatibilities once I had them at home. My point is more that I know well we're a specific kind of person and a specific kind of household, and I have some sense of where our show-stoppers are. I'm trying to be responsible about it. I'm worried about mistakenly picking a cat who wouldn't be 100% happy with us whatever we did, who could have been happier in a different home. And peeing . . . well, I can't see how it would help the cat either if the entire gang of us ended up living in a cardboard box on the street.

Which is a clue to where you should start looking. Contact a rescue group who's cats live in foster homes. These people should know their cats' pesonalities the best. A lot better than cats who live inside a cage all day.

Great advice, thanks. I've actually been in touch with a few but they don't seem to be feasible for our situation. They either insist on indoor-only - I get their point, it's just that I can't promise it - or they're winding down operations, or never return their phone messages. I've been going to the local SPCA and spending repeated time with a specific cat to give it time to make up its mind about me. I found one who was an utter charmer, but very shy after coming from a household where she was being bullied by the other cats. She'd sit in the back of her cage and chirrup at me for scritches, but at first she wouldn't approach to get them. The last time I saw her (Sunday) she was warming up. It took a while before someone came to unlock her cage, and she was leaning on the bars the whole time, begging for me to stroke her through them I would have taken her just based on that progress (permission being granted), only her profile has vanished online so I think someone else suddenly noticed what a honey she was and got her first.

[jenluckenbach]

They either insist on indoor-only -

It is true, many (if not most) rescues require this. (at least in the USA).

As for those that don't return phone calls, try using email. You might get better, faster response. At least this in my experience.

Take time to read the profiles of cats at shelters in your area posted on www.petfinder.com. Not all rescues take the time to really descibe each cat, but those that DO take the time make your search a bit easier.

[Freedom]

Seriously, if you can't keep a cat as indoor only, do everyone favor and get a stuffed animal.

I'm sorry but that is how I feel about it. The life span for an outdoor, or indoor / outdoor cat is just too short, and filled with pain. Cats have been domesticated and are not able to care for themselves outdoors.

[tokolosh]

Seriously, if you can't keep a cat as indoor only, do everyone favor and get a stuffed animal.

I understand people feel strongly about this. I'm not sure if you intended to be as rude as you sound or it was an accident though.

Here's the way I look at it. There are gazillions of cats (unofficial count) who don't have homes of their own, and there are not a gazillion people who want or can care for a cat. Nor will there ever be. Still less are there a gazillion homes that perfectly match every possible criterion for a 'perfect environment'. And there's a critical shortage of shelter space for all the overflow cats. There is no livable way for me to keep a cat indoors all the time if it's really determined to spend time outside, but what I can do is provide it with good food, shelter, clean water, affection, warmth, play time, scritching, protection from the elements plus many dangers and fears, socialization, gentleness and space of its own within its own home, comprehensive medical coverage and attention to any medical needs it might have through the course of its life. If you think that same cat would be better off and live longer taking up a shelter space that could be used by some other cat that's permanently - and without any choice in the matter - out on the street, that's your prerogative. But I guess I just don't grok that logic. Maybe every stray/feral cat where you live gets a shelter space, no matter what. And maybe every shelter cat where you live finds a home within a humane timeframe. That's not how it works here. Even in no-kill shelter they get depressed, they get sick and they die - sooner than they probably would if they were adopted out to even someone like myself who (horrors) leaves her windows open when it gets real hot.

I dunno. I let my cat Limpet go outside if she wanted to - and she did. On the other hand, I paid insurance premiums for her her entire life, and most people I know who have pets don't. But that directly influences the length and quality of a cat's life as well. I really can't see how I'm less worthy than someone who seals her home like a fortress but has to choose euthanasia at the local ER for no other reason than because they just can't afford whatever care the cat needs.

[pomtzu]

I understand people feel strongly about this. I'm not sure if you intended to be as rude as you sound or it was an accident though.

Just as an FYI - Freedom doesn't have so much as an ounce of rudeness in her - unlike me!

And from my past experiences with cats - all indoors - it's not that difficult to keep them indoors - you just have to let them know who's boss. You aren't going to break their spirit by doing this, and eventually they will get the message. If you do want one that is able to explore outside on occasion, then get a harness and put it on a leash and take it for walks. It isn't all that difficult to train a cat to walk on a leash, and that way, kitty can have the best of both worlds.

[Moesha]

I'm going to agree here with tokolosh. Keeping a cat inside that is determined to go outside is next to impossible. I think we all agree that outside isn't the safest place for animals, but as was mentioned earlier, outside under supervision or for brief periods with a way back inside is a much better alternative than what some kitties experience. I know the risks are higher for shorter lifespan and other dangers, but sometimes that is the reality. Morgan was a strictly inside cat and when I got Aroara, that was the plan with her. She definitely had other ideas. My house was in the country with woods and fields and those things tempted her way too much to keep her inside all the time. Plus she is terribly destructive in trying to get outside. I could take photos of the carpet and doors for you. She has her routine. That is the main reason that when I moved into a new house, I had to leave her at my parents. She would be miserable if she couldn't go outside, and she would make me miserable. And I couldn't let her go outside at all here safely. So I get visitation and pay child support and she lives at my parents' house.

Also, I completely agree with the over analyzing of what to do about a new cat. Along with my new house, I inherited a cat. My grandmother had to move to assisted living, so I'm in her house and with her cat. He is neurotic to say the least. But then living with her for his first 4 years didn't help. We've made great progress in the last 7 months or so, but I miss normal kitties so much! I have had dozens of kitties and know they all have their own personalities. Morgan was the absolute best kitty I could ever imagine. And I know that I'll never get another one like him. And it isn't fair to kitties to expect them to be like him either. But being with Tommy isn't what I'm used to either. I do go home to visit and play with my kitties there, but I've seriously been thinking of getting another one for here. I've been running through all the possibilities in my head similar to what you've mentioned and haven't come up with a solution yet either. I guess I'll just keep my eyes and ears opened and when I see someone that is desperate for a home, I'll adopt. A few towns away from me there was a call from the humane society that they had over 300 cats and kittens. I desperately wanted to go and pick one out, but then I got anxiety picturing myself trying to decide on just one. I'd feel guilty about not taking them all. So I didn't go. And now I feel guilty about that. I know that I'll help some needy kitty eventually. Anyway, the point of this was to say that I completely understand all sides of all the issues here. And I don't think it is fair for any one of us to judge another one of us. We're all here for the love of animals, particularly cats being discussed here. I hope everyone remembers that. And I also hope that when you make your decision, you'll be willing to share that and lots of pictures with us!

[krazyaboutkatz]

From what you have said that you don't want then I know you shouldn't even consider a Siamese type of cat. My cat Pearl is only a Siamese mix and she's very needy and clingy towards me. My cat Sky used to try to door dash and he would cry to be let out when I first adopted him. I live in a condo complex and we can't have outdoor cats at all. Over time Sky learned to love the indoors and now he doesn't door dash any more. I do open up my sliding glass door so they can all smell the outdoors. It has another door with a pet screen on it so bugs stay out and the cats can't get out either. My windows also have pet screens on them so I don't have to worry about a cat falling out of my window. I live on the second floor.

I've found that as far as personalities, laid back, easy going, goofy cats have been the best for me. For some reason orange male cats seem to have these personalities. Also some cats like my Ziggy Stardust, take several years before they actually show their true personalities. She was a loner and now she finally comes to me for pets and scritches and she sometimes wants to sleep with me at night. Not all cats are lap cats. Storm will only sit between my legs and will only be on my lap if he feels threatened or scared by someone or something. He doesn't like to be held either. Sky has never been a lap cat but he's the friendliest cat that I have and he loves people. He's my kitty/dog. I can hold him for maybe a few minutes or so. Pearl loves to be in my lap but she doesn't like to be held. Ziggy will sometimes sit between my legs but has never been a lap cat and she also hates to be held. Alani loves to be held and he must have his daily hugs. He also loves to be on my lap. He's quite the love bug. Blaze will tolerate being held but he also loves to be on my lap.

I know you can never replace your former cat but you may be able to find a cat with similar qualities. I hope that you'll be able to find that special cat and that your landlord will allow you to have another cat. I would recommend looking at petfinder. This is where I found Alani & Blaze. Good luck.

[tokolosh]

We've made great progress in the last 7 months or so, but I miss normal kitties so much!

There you go. If you ever had one cat you really truly loved, it's just not the same to have cats you're merely fond of, no matter how fond of them you might be. I am fond of cats. They do make me happy. I really like consciously choosing how I interact with them so they're happy too. And I want to allocate the available space in my family for a new cat somewhere where it will make a difference. But at heart I'm not a full-on full-time rescuer or foster-person.

I've been running through all the possibilities in my head similar to what you've mentioned and haven't come up with a solution yet either. I guess I'll just keep my eyes and ears opened and when I see someone that is desperate for a home, I'll adopt.

I have hope so I'm trying to have patience too. There's a guy on a mail-list I belong to who had a cat with a huge personality and clearly it was his primary 'person' in life. When it died over a year ago he pretty much shut himself down, cat-wise. And this is an extremely intelligent, strong-willed person But then his cousin came to live with him while he waits to emigrate, and the cousin has a cat of his own . . . it's been really funny and really sweet watching this guy resist the cat, when it's so obvious his goose was cooked the moment that cat came through the door. Johan can call it 'the current cat' and 'the resident cat' all he likes - the cat knows what it knows. I wouldn't bet an old hairball on the chances that cat is going to Holland with its 'owner' when the time comes.

I desperately wanted to go and pick one out, but then I got anxiety picturing myself trying to decide on just one. I'd feel guilty about not taking them all. So I didn't go. And now I feel guilty about that.

I go down to the local shelter and hang out with them. Give the ones who want it attention and stroking and some social time, waiting for that lightning to strike me again. I get overwhelmed too. I don't want to reject anycat. I just don't like having to say 'this one's lovely, but . . . '.

And I also hope that when you make your decision, you'll be willing to share that and lots of pictures with us!

Oh, you'll never hear the end of it. Whoever we get will be completely gorgeous.